up a ladder
13-09-14, 08:40
Hi.
In 1996 (I was 28) I had what I thought was my first full blown panic attack. It was the first one that I actually saw as a Panic attack, but in the years since then I realise that I probably had had a few through my youth.
I spent the next 4 years pretty much inside a major depression that had me extremely close to self harm. At one point I was on Lithium and a huge dose of Amatryptaline.
Throughout this period I maintained a pretty good job and on many days found myself panicking just getting to work and the thoughts of meetings (especially ones that I had to stay away for a few days) were just pure hell.
I then went to a CBT course in Oxford and this I believe was my main road to recovery. Along with that and the birth of my first daughter, things started to get better.
I do slip in every year or so to a minor state of anxiety and or depression, but despite how they feel at the time "Here I go again" "I cant cope this time" etc, etc. They do pass quite quickly.
I suppose what I am saying is that despite how low you feel, I honestly believe we can all reach a place where life is bearable and indeed enjoyable. You may have times where it comes back and bites you, but these in my experience are short lived transient episodes. The hardest part I find is reminding yourself of the good times as your depressed/anxious brain has a fantastic ability to discount the good times or even normal times. If you keep a diary, this can be a great help.
I really cant emphasize enough how important it is for you to be able to remind yourself of the normal/good days
Sharing it with people is also a massive help and these days the world is far more understanding than it was even 10 years ago.
The other thing I always notice is that the people who suffer and panic are some of the more caring people out there
I wish everyone good progress
In 1996 (I was 28) I had what I thought was my first full blown panic attack. It was the first one that I actually saw as a Panic attack, but in the years since then I realise that I probably had had a few through my youth.
I spent the next 4 years pretty much inside a major depression that had me extremely close to self harm. At one point I was on Lithium and a huge dose of Amatryptaline.
Throughout this period I maintained a pretty good job and on many days found myself panicking just getting to work and the thoughts of meetings (especially ones that I had to stay away for a few days) were just pure hell.
I then went to a CBT course in Oxford and this I believe was my main road to recovery. Along with that and the birth of my first daughter, things started to get better.
I do slip in every year or so to a minor state of anxiety and or depression, but despite how they feel at the time "Here I go again" "I cant cope this time" etc, etc. They do pass quite quickly.
I suppose what I am saying is that despite how low you feel, I honestly believe we can all reach a place where life is bearable and indeed enjoyable. You may have times where it comes back and bites you, but these in my experience are short lived transient episodes. The hardest part I find is reminding yourself of the good times as your depressed/anxious brain has a fantastic ability to discount the good times or even normal times. If you keep a diary, this can be a great help.
I really cant emphasize enough how important it is for you to be able to remind yourself of the normal/good days
Sharing it with people is also a massive help and these days the world is far more understanding than it was even 10 years ago.
The other thing I always notice is that the people who suffer and panic are some of the more caring people out there
I wish everyone good progress