elysemarie123
14-09-14, 21:45
Hello everyone. I haven't posted much. I try to only post when I am in the middle of an epic breakdown or I see something I can relate to. But I have to share this because it's a huge deal for me.
I am finally starting to tell the difference between anxiety in mind and an actual sickness. It's kind of strange how it happened. The sickness I focus on is meningitis and I always thought that I was one second away from it and that
I'd soon be in the hospital (early detection has the best results). After my brain realized that it's a one in a million disease, I started focusing on things that were symptoms of meningitis; namely headaches(migraines sometimes) and throwing up. Now you know that usually when someone has meningitis there is no question that they are sick. And I tried to tell myself that but we all know how difficult it is to be rational. So for about 6 years after my friend died of meningitis I would panic if I had a headache or an upset stomach.
Things have been slowly but surely changing and here are the things I've done:
1. I finally found an amazing support system. My family has always been there for me thankfully. I know that some of you may not have that but it really helps when you know people care about if you are feeling well. If you don't have that in your life, message me and I will be that for you. I believe it is so important to have someone to talk out your feelings with and will not dismiss you. I tried talking to a professional and it didn't work for me. You need to find what and who works for you. Don't hold in your feelings because you are embarrassed or ashamed. Talk it out. I am truly grateful that I have my boyfriend and my family because they are my rocks. If someone makes you feel bad for feeling the way you do, let them know.
2. Go outside! I live in Pennsylvania and we had probably the worst winter last year in all of my 26 years. I was inside every night and it drove me crazy. If you start having a panic attack, feel nauseous, whatever; go outside. Just the scent of fresh air will help. Walk down your street and try to find something you've never noticed before. You'll be amazed how much you don't see when you get used to your surroundings.
3. Time. Sad to say, the longer you wait the better you feel. This works in more than one way. My friend died of meningitis 6 years ago and I've had ups and downs as you've all probably had. The longer I heal the better it gets. Even though I don't truly understand, it's becoming that understanding doesn't matter. This also works if you are feeling a twitch or pain. If there was something majorly wrong with you, you would progressively get worse. If you don't feel any worse in 1 hour, 2 hours, so on, chances are you are probably fine.
4. You are not the exception. Now this is one I have a hard time believing myself. We always hear about these rare cases where people get sick from some rare disease. Whenever I get a headache, I either have meningitis or a brain tumor. The thing is, I'm 26, physically healthy (not mentally but trying!), and it's so rare that I would have either or those things because I am not the exception to the rareness of the sickness. Like I said, I'm still working on this one.
5. Find something to distract you. Read, paint, watch tv, play an iPhone game, ANYTHING. My savior had been my boston terrier, Toby, my boyfriend and this iPhone game called Cooking Fever. Whatever works for you, don't be ashamed of it and embrace it.
6. Want to get better. If you really want to get better, YOU need to do it. There is nothing that will make you feel better if you don't let yourself.
I know this is long. And I'm still no where close to bring healed. I may never be healed. Who knows. All I know is it's getting a little more manageable.
I am finally starting to tell the difference between anxiety in mind and an actual sickness. It's kind of strange how it happened. The sickness I focus on is meningitis and I always thought that I was one second away from it and that
I'd soon be in the hospital (early detection has the best results). After my brain realized that it's a one in a million disease, I started focusing on things that were symptoms of meningitis; namely headaches(migraines sometimes) and throwing up. Now you know that usually when someone has meningitis there is no question that they are sick. And I tried to tell myself that but we all know how difficult it is to be rational. So for about 6 years after my friend died of meningitis I would panic if I had a headache or an upset stomach.
Things have been slowly but surely changing and here are the things I've done:
1. I finally found an amazing support system. My family has always been there for me thankfully. I know that some of you may not have that but it really helps when you know people care about if you are feeling well. If you don't have that in your life, message me and I will be that for you. I believe it is so important to have someone to talk out your feelings with and will not dismiss you. I tried talking to a professional and it didn't work for me. You need to find what and who works for you. Don't hold in your feelings because you are embarrassed or ashamed. Talk it out. I am truly grateful that I have my boyfriend and my family because they are my rocks. If someone makes you feel bad for feeling the way you do, let them know.
2. Go outside! I live in Pennsylvania and we had probably the worst winter last year in all of my 26 years. I was inside every night and it drove me crazy. If you start having a panic attack, feel nauseous, whatever; go outside. Just the scent of fresh air will help. Walk down your street and try to find something you've never noticed before. You'll be amazed how much you don't see when you get used to your surroundings.
3. Time. Sad to say, the longer you wait the better you feel. This works in more than one way. My friend died of meningitis 6 years ago and I've had ups and downs as you've all probably had. The longer I heal the better it gets. Even though I don't truly understand, it's becoming that understanding doesn't matter. This also works if you are feeling a twitch or pain. If there was something majorly wrong with you, you would progressively get worse. If you don't feel any worse in 1 hour, 2 hours, so on, chances are you are probably fine.
4. You are not the exception. Now this is one I have a hard time believing myself. We always hear about these rare cases where people get sick from some rare disease. Whenever I get a headache, I either have meningitis or a brain tumor. The thing is, I'm 26, physically healthy (not mentally but trying!), and it's so rare that I would have either or those things because I am not the exception to the rareness of the sickness. Like I said, I'm still working on this one.
5. Find something to distract you. Read, paint, watch tv, play an iPhone game, ANYTHING. My savior had been my boston terrier, Toby, my boyfriend and this iPhone game called Cooking Fever. Whatever works for you, don't be ashamed of it and embrace it.
6. Want to get better. If you really want to get better, YOU need to do it. There is nothing that will make you feel better if you don't let yourself.
I know this is long. And I'm still no where close to bring healed. I may never be healed. Who knows. All I know is it's getting a little more manageable.