The nothing works curse.

[HalfJack]

I just can't get the hang of being assertive and thinking about myself positively. I feel ugly and repulsive all the time.

I'm not giving up hope. I've just been struggling to find anything that helps me improve. From experience I know "nothing works" means:
Think about what you've tried and if you've done it right.
Change approach and or keep at it.
If it still doesn't work step away.
Find other methods for now and try them again another time.

I've got myself to the point where I no longer panic much (but it does bring me down) and I accept that regardless of how I look, being confident will make my life better, so I should just be me. I'm gaining confidence by the mile but not self esteem or assertiveness!

It's like I lose words when I need to be assertive. It's not that I'm flustered it's just that I very literally don't know how to phrase what I want to say. My only options are to blurt out unprocessed thought - "NO F*** YOU" - or be a wallflower. I hate both. It's always the quiet ones :winks:
Anyone else empathise?

[MyNameIsTerry]

I think we all suffer this in differing degrees as anxiety just saps self confidence, self worth and self esteem.

I'm ok with assertiveness but its perhaps because I've held positions in my work where I've had to deal with people at different levels. Whilst my confidence has taken a massive dent, the assertiveness came back pretty quickly.

Perhaps you could list the scenarios and then how you could respond to them and then highlight how you want to respond to them. Maybe practice this in roleplay with your BF if it helps.

[Pinguanxious]

I can empathise with you. I do see all these people talking about ways that have helped them and i think.... it dont work for me there must be something wrong, but i think its all about our commitment. do you suffer low self esteem issues?
I hope you are feeling a little better now

[trish1955]

Hi I have just listed everything I have tried in forty six years suffering its on I wish I could wake up normal on health anxiety one of the no more panic people asked wat she was doing to achieve this. Take a look xxx