Help regarding relationships/helping other people

[Droppet]

Hi everyone, hope you are all well.

I am writing to ask whether any of you have some real issues regarding anxiety/depression (which is what I have) and relationships.

What I mean by this is that I seem to attract people, strangers and friends, who feel like they can talk to me all the time about any issues in their lives, ranging from relationship problems to their own depression (not knowing I have it also) and i'm a bit of a shoulder to cry on for everyone - yet I don't feel like I have anyone to do that for me... Whilst I feel nice that they can trust me etc with such personal information, I feel often quite suffocated by everyone else's issues and that I don't get chance to breathe almost.

I realise this sounds incredibly horrible of me, i do feel guilty about it, but I feel like I have to be selfish at the moment to conquer my illnesses. I wondered whether anyone else has this or whether you have any advice for me - what do i do?

[up a ladder]

Droppet. Firstly, it does not sound horrible at all. You are obviously caring enough to let people download to you and support them, but equally, why feel guilty expecting someone else to be there for you?
Another point is that if you are hiding your depression, you still have it, and you understand what people are talking to you about. Therefore you understand exactly how they feel. Could you not try to explain how you are feeling to one of the people you are helping?
I think one of my biggest mistakes was keeping everything to myself Once I had let my wife and parents know, there was more support. I eventually told a few close friends and that again helped as I didnt feel like I had to hide my depression from them and then that led to feeling happier when I was with them.
You could try for a penpal on here as that may help too.

[Baggs]

Noo it's not horrible of you. You hit it right on the head when you said you have to be selfish to conquer your own illness - yep, spot on. I do exactly the same, I put my own recovery first and in that way I can be of help to others, I am actually manning a helpline right now. Couldn't do that if I am un-selfish and go down the pan. I wish you all the best.