Feel ashamed I have anxiety :(

[Donna21]

I feel totally ashamed that I have anxiety, does anyone else feel this way? Don't know why, I have health anxiety/worrier and hate it, after seeing my doctor and having my sertraline upped to 150mg a week ago I'm an emotional wreck! One minute I'm crying and the next minute I'm happy. Just started my cbt last week so going to be a while before I see any improvement. It's this feeling of constant dread and being tearful. X

[HalfJack]

Yep! Big time.
Don't feel bad about not having a good handle on it, there's a learning curve it can take time. It feels bigger than you but it isn't, you can beat it you're just in the process.
I hate feeling weak, then again it's not supposed to feel good. Depression and anxiety would flaw anyone for a while x

[ray52]

I felt the same way ashamed that I couldn't cope, was a total wreck and I was under my doctor for treatment.

I am still under my doctor but life is better now and able to cope with most things. It just takes time Donna I was on 20mg cit which was upped to 40mg.

When the meds start to take affect the dread will start to lift.

Best wishes

[Ruby13]

I also felt a failure and weak with suffering from anxiety, but the more you talk to people, the more you realise you are not alone.

[Josh21]

I feel ashamed about not doing the things I feel I could/should have done as a result of anxiety.

[Tessar]

No need to feel ashamed EVER, Donna. Think of it as a condition such as a a cold or fever. No-one would feel ashamed about that, would they? They would seek treatment or sooth themselves while healing.
Many people do feel ashamed about it but Just the same as u ... they have no reason whatsoever to feel ashamed. No way.
Be kind to youself rather than critical.
Aha, I just read that you just started cbt.
this will contribute to where you are at.
The very nature of CBT necessitates you challenge your beliefs. Things you feel are definitely right (that are most likely distorted) need to be challenged. It can take time to do this and meanwhile it will, at times, cause a peak in your anxiety levels.
The good news is that gradually as you continue to look into why you think in a distorted or disproportionate way.... You begin to see where the reality lies. That is when you begin to improve.
You will improve, Donna, it might take time but you stick at it.
And please.... Remember you have nothing, repeat nothing to feel ashamed about.
Quite the opposite in fact because it takes courage to face these things.

[venusbluejeans]

Why feel ashamed? it is an illness, something medically wrong with you...

you wouldn't be ashamed if you had a broken leg would you?

Emmz

[Alen]

Hey

you are not ill, thats an illusion caused by sensitisation

[magsymac]

I feel ashamed about my anxiety and panic attacks too, its not made any easier when i go to my doctors and they just look at me and ask what i want them to do about it! It will be 3 years at xmas since my first attack which came out of the blue, i didn't feel stressed but for some reason i started feeling like i couldn't breath and felt like i was choking on my own saliva, scariest thing i have ever experienced and before you know it, it had a hold on me i was scared of being alone at home in the shower toilet etc in case another attack happened.
I have had 6 sessions of cbt whenever the lady attended but because i didn't have suicidal thoughts she said i couldn't come anymore. I have just been plodding on ever since i am not too bad during the day but i have terrible problems sleeping i seem to get more panic at night so i dread going to bed now!! vicious circle every day, i feel if i had a physical illness that i would be so much better looked after, i know i am making the problem in my head myself but would still like my GP to be bit more sympathetic. Anyway rant over and thanks for this group for listening to me ;)

[jumpingmuffin]

I know exactly what you mean my doctor is exactly the same its like trying to get blood out of a stone when all you want is help or someone to talk to! Im still waiting for my appointment to come through after having a telephone assesment.

I just feel worse when it comes to work as I feel bad about it and what other people think of me and just goes round in a vicious circle.

[debs71]

Donna, do not feel ashamed.

The trouble with mental health problems is that we still - in this day and age - are made to feel this pressure or embarrassment about having them, and why the hell should we? I totally agree with venusbluejeans - a mental health problem/illness/ or whatever else it is defined as is no different from having a physical problem. The only difference is - and I find this frustrating and anger-inducing to be honest - that because people can't SEE our illness/problem, they don't take them seriously or else judge us as weak or malingering, or think we should 'buck up' or snap out of it, and that is grossly unfair. We therefore feel like failures and weak, just as you describe.

I have my moments still now, mostly where I question why I have the problems I have, and why I can't 'cope' like a 'normal' person can, but I nowadays quickly snap out of that and remind myself that 1 in 4 of us suffer from a mental health ailment, so why the hell should we feel ashamed of it?

Don't.

Also, do bear in mind that you are still emotionally and mentally very vulnerable right now, and your meds are being adjusted/therapy awaited, and when anxious, we do tend to feel bad about ourselves anyway, and very commonly, guilty or ashamed that we are the way we are. You will see this improve in time, I promise you.

All the best hun.xx:hugs:

[Tessar]

I'm totally with everything debs as said here, really don't ever feel ashamed about anxiety.
Everyone has anxiety at some level, even those appearing super-confident.
Magsymac.....your doctor sounds rather hopeless to me...... Even if they have no real understanding of mental health issues, at the very least they should trawl the resources available to them & get you a suitable referral.
You will certainly get appropriate help, support & advice from people here because they can empathise & will really want to help you.

[MyNameIsTerry]

I feel ashamed about my anxiety and panic attacks too, its not made any easier when i go to my doctors and they just look at me and ask what i want them to do about it! It will be 3 years at xmas since my first attack which came out of the blue, i didn't feel stressed but for some reason i started feeling like i couldn't breath and felt like i was choking on my own saliva, scariest thing i have ever experienced and before you know it, it had a hold on me i was scared of being alone at home in the shower toilet etc in case another attack happened.
I have had 6 sessions of cbt whenever the lady attended but because i didn't have suicidal thoughts she said i couldn't come anymore. I have just been plodding on ever since i am not too bad during the day but i have terrible problems sleeping i seem to get more panic at night so i dread going to bed now!! vicious circle every day, i feel if i had a physical illness that i would be so much better looked after, i know i am making the problem in my head myself but would still like my GP to be bit more sympathetic. Anyway rant over and thanks for this group for listening to me ;)

Welcome to NMP :welcome:

I can understand because mine is similiar. He's not a bad doctor and any physical issues have always been well treated but since starting with GAD & OCD I have found that they are completely lacking in their support. A double appointment for my practice is 10 minutes! You can't talk about anything in that time and all it tends to be is a quick few questions and a talk about medication. I don't go anymore and the repeat prescriptions just get signed regardless.

Are there are mental health charities in your area? If there are, I would advise you to see what they offer because the one on my city do walk-in discussions, courses, socials, etc.

Why can't you have more than 6 sessions? Was that at Level 2 or Level 3? If you only had Level 2, you can be escalated up to Level 3 like I was. This is the NICE guidance to the NHS so there is something there, I just find from talking to people on here that services are out of step with each other dependant on region.

There is a free CBT course on this website if you are interested?

[MyNameIsTerry]

I know exactly what you mean my doctor is exactly the same its like trying to get blood out of a stone when all you want is help or someone to talk to! Im still waiting for my appointment to come through after having a telephone assesment.

I just feel worse when it comes to work as I feel bad about it and what other people think of me and just goes round in a vicious circle.

Yeah, my GP is the same. 10 minutes for a double appointment! Total waste of time really. Some of the things he has said like "oh well, you will find your own way out of this" I find to be a brush off from them trying to help. I've had my CBT, thats my lot as far as they seme to be concerned.

Look for local mental health charities as they tend to bridge the gaps in services with things like walk-ins, courses and socials.

Mods - sorry, I quoted Mags to respond and its gone to you, feel free to give me one of these :buttkick:

[debs71]

On the doctor thing, my doctor is frankly laughable as well.

I have to see him every 7 weeks or so for a (ahem....clears throat sarcastically) 'review' of my anxiety/depression, and to (ahem) 'see how I am doing'.

What a joke that is!

I literally go in, sit down, he stares at his computer typing away, and without even making eye contact says 'So, how are you?'.....at which I tell him I have been ok, with the odd glitch now and then, but basically all is fine.

He then prints out the new prescription for Cipralex, says 'see you in a couple of months' and that is that.

It is ridiculous. I could sit there and tell him that I walked naked through town with my knickers on my head last week, and he still wouldn't take his eyes from his computer screen.

It really annoys me, and to me it is a measure of how interested he is in how I REALLY am. Granted I am ok at the moment, but that is not the point.

I honestly feel that these 'reviews' are just protocol for them, but with no heart in it whatsoever.:shrug:

[MyNameIsTerry]

On the doctor thing, my doctor is frankly laughable as well.

I have to see him every 7 weeks or so for a (ahem....clears throat sarcastically) 'review' of my anxiety/depression, and to (ahem) 'see how I am doing'.

What a joke that is!

I literally go in, sit down, he stares at his computer typing away, and without even making eye contact says 'So, how are you?'.....at which I tell him I have been ok, with the odd glitch now and then, but basically all is fine.

He then prints out the new prescription for Cipralex, says 'see you in a couple of months' and that is that.

It is ridiculous. I could sit there and tell him that I walked naked through town with my knickers on my head last week, and he still wouldn't take his eyes from his computer screen.

It really annoys me, and to me it is a measure of how interested he is in how I REALLY am. Granted I am ok at the moment, but that is not the point.

I honestly feel that these 'reviews' are just protocol for them, but with no heart in it whatsoever.:shrug:

My GP is far better than yours...he sits facing me and looks me in the eye :tongue:...other than that, everything you have just said mirrors my appointments. I think that if the governement finally bring in telephone, email and video conference appointments that mental health issues will easily fit into the appointments that are conducted this way. I always feel they are a waste if time, its as though they are hoping we have magically cured ourselves...talk about sticking your head in the sand, eh?

I often think its a combination of their practices being too large to be effective as well as their own lack of interest. My GP comes across well in terms of being interested, I just find him ineffectual and he lacks understanding of the medication he prescribes as I've found out on several occasions when he didn't understand what was a side effect and what was really anxiety. Its time they did a full review of GP's in this respect, I think the results would be damning.