jorainbow
18-09-14, 02:03
Hi all. Today I waved my eldest son off on a year long trip to Australia. I have suffered with anxiety and depression in the past and although I am excited, pleased and proud of him, in the background I was concerned about becoming anxious. I understand this is very normal and very real for a parent but I suppose due to my history I was worried this would bring on an episode. I practised a hefty amount of denial in the run up to him leaving! He didn't live at home and I had 3 years of him going to University prior to that but the overwhelming feeling is one of I aren't going to be able to see him for a year and this has left me in a flat spin. I was teary when he left (especially when he held his laptop up to the train window and he'd written 'love you' as his train departed!) and emotionally up and down when I got home but I have just woken feeling so anxious and sick. My youngest (19) and I are not as close and as my relationship with my partner of 5 years has all but ended I am home alone (except the dog :)) and feel awful. Partner didn't even ring to see if I was OK and my youngest has finished work and must be out with friends. On top of this I had surgery the day before to remove a basal cell carcinoma so that's been an added worry. I know this trip is everything that is amazing for my son and my emotions are my own but I am struggling. Has anyone any advice on how not to make this into a bigger issue and keep a lid on my anxiety. Thanks.