View Full Version : Will it ever get better?
psychadelic-brie
18-09-14, 11:01
Would someone please tell me it won't always be like this?
I mostly suffer from general anxiety. But for the past week I have been (what feels like) constantly on the verge of a panic attack. It's so hard to take. I had a CBT session yesterday and it was determined that my parents (namely my mother) should just leave me alone when I am panicking, even if I am curled up in a ball unable to do anything. That's scary enough in itself, but what if I just stay like that? If my brain was going to realise there's nothing to worry about, surely it would have by now? I feel like the only way to deal with this is to die. But I am a coward. So I need to try and stay calm. But it's so hard. Especially at home by myself at the moment (I am currently living with my ex until the end of the month, but might as well be alone).
Hi Brie
keep going with the CBT and practising what you have learnt and I promise it will get better.CBT was a life saver for me ,keep going and try and be strong
It will get better....really:)
The fight or flight response which triggers panic is autonomic, like breathing, you can't control it when it happens, so in one sense it's nothing to do with your brain.
On the other hand what your brain can do is think rationally and therefore reassure you that nothing bad will happen to you. The more you believe it, the less your fight or flight response will be triggered.
Think of it as resetting your fear levels. It take practice it but can be done.
Hi MRandy do like the dont panic put the kettle on... I drink so much cammamile tea
I really should be fighting fit. Must be doing something wrong !!!!!!! Hopey
Hi MRandy do like the dont panic put the kettle on... I drink so much cammamile tea
I really should be fighting fit. Must be doing something wrong !!!!!!! Hopey
Cut down on the sugar lumps :D
psychadelic-brie
18-09-14, 19:35
I just feel like things will never get better. I am trying to so hard but I am so irrationally scared. I *know* I won't stop breathing or die, and being sick isn't the end of the world. But I am still scared it will happen. I am scared that I will never stop panicking. I am scared I will get stuck in a rut where I am not eating and not getting out of bed. I have only just started eating again after a week of being completely off my food. I really hope this CBT works because it's the only hope I have.
Psychadelic-brie, it does get better I promise! I'm going through a bit of a blip at the moment but I've been through it and it does get easier. I've been at that stage where it's like continuous panic and you think I'm always going to be like this and it will never get better, but it will! It's horrible, truly horrible but just remember it's all adrenaline and can't harm you! I find telling myself that I will be fine and that it will pass helps me a bit! Do you drink camomile tea, it takes some getting used to so I add a bit of honey but of an evening sometimes it helps me to calm myself a little. Are you taking any medication? Anyway I hope you're feeling a little better and if you need reassurance then message me anytime! xx
psychadelic-brie
18-09-14, 20:07
That's very kind of you Fuzzyhead, thank you. I am on Seroxat which doesn't seem to do much but I am worse when not on it. I occasionally take Diazepam when I am desperate. I have been trying to tell myself all the positive things I can and it does seem to help a little. It just seems everything is happening at once so I don't even feel relaxed at home because it won't be mine for much longer :weep:
I do drink camomile but I struggle to drink right now. I am trying to though so I will try some. I find peppermint tea is good for my stomach as well. I will try to remember that it does pass when I am in a panic. I won't be paralysed with fright forever. Or so I hope not. I hope it's just not possible!
Just to echo what everyone else is saying. Yes, it will get better. The Anxiety seems to come to a peak period and then it slowly subsides without you even noticing. I found making a list of all the symptoms and checking them each day to see if there was any improvement or if any had disappeared and the list does get shorter, believe me. My list was about 40 symptoms long. I am living a reasonably normal Life now, so you have to hold on in there and the support on here is brilliant. One other thing not to do , is Google your symptoms, it just makes things worse.
It comes and goes in severity but 18 years on, no I fear it will never get better completely. :weep:
Yes. Absolutely yes, you can get better. CBT will give you the skills to manage the anxiety and to change the negative thinking into more helpful positive thoughts. It may seem very confusing at times but please try to keep an open mind as you go along and stick with it.
Try to accept the panic and anxiety, don't fight it. Easy to say and difficult to do I know but, if you can start to accept that at the moment you are feeling anxious and scared but it will pass and practise your relaxation exercises, things will start to become a little easier for you. There is no magic cure, it all takes its own time but you can get through this.
Don't believe anyone who tells you that you won't get better. We all have different stories and experiences. There are many of us here who have been where you are now and have come through it to be stronger, better people because of it.
You will get through this.
psychadelic-brie
19-09-14, 12:19
Thank you everyone. I still feel it is at its peak today. It doesn't help I don't feel particularly awake today and I feel dizzy. Still off my food. I do fear that I still stay like this. Being off my food and dizzy means I am exhausted and don't want to venture out like I was doing a few weeks ago (just local places to try and face the fear). I fear that I will become so paralysed by panic I will stay in bed and not get out and stop eating all together. My therapist told my mother to just leave me when I am like that. That makes me feel more panicky. What if I die eventually because I get left? I am often sick when I panic. I have a real phobia of being sick. Plus I am living with my ex currently and just don't feel comfortable in this house (I move back to my mum's at the end of the month). I just feel so terrified all the time. I don't want to die this way.
Hope you are feeling better. Your story makes me want to beat this thing!
---------- Post added at 12:57 ---------- Previous post was at 12:55 ----------
Just realised your post is today's . Have you anyone you can talk too:hugs:
It will get better
I am on the computer and i could not 6 months ago.
Wish i could have as i would have found this site earlier
Reading your post made me realize how far i have come. As i was there too,
Sitting with my handbag on the edge of my bed ready to go to the mental hospital.or taking a cold shower in the middle of the night to get my breathing going again. Looking back it seems funny all the things i tried but it was not funny at the time
Hang in there
Thank you everyone. I still feel it is at its peak today. It doesn't help I don't feel particularly awake today and I feel dizzy. Still off my food. I do fear that I still stay like this. Being off my food and dizzy means I am exhausted and don't want to venture out like I was doing a few weeks ago (just local places to try and face the fear). I fear that I will become so paralysed by panic I will stay in bed and not get out and stop eating all together. My therapist told my mother to just leave me when I am like that. That makes me feel more panicky. What if I die eventually because I get left? I am often sick when I panic. I have a real phobia of being sick. Plus I am living with my ex currently and just don't feel comfortable in this house (I move back to my mum's at the end of the month). I just feel so terrified all the time. I don't want to die this way.
Living in a state of high anxiety and fear is tiring. At this time it is natural for you to feel both mentally and physically drained and exhausted. Try to eat little and often. If you having trouble eating then don't worry about what you are taking in. Just getting something inside you is the important thing at the moment. Remember to drink lots too, preferably water and juice. Dehydration will add to your problems. If you feel sick try sucking a sugar lump or a teaspoon of sugar.
Practise your relaxation and breathing techniques. It will be difficult as you are so tense but it will help in the long term. Practise and practise again each day. You can find some here http://www.mentalhealth.org.uk/help-information/podcasts/
Have you read Dr Claire Weekes or listened to her CDs? http://www.amazon.co.uk/Pass-Through-Panic-Freeing-Yourself/dp/1565119703/ref=sr_1_3?ie=UTF8&qid=1411137429&sr=8-3&keywords=dr+claire+weekes. The audio was available on this site somewhere at one time but your local library may have a copy if someone would collect it for you. Also read the Articles on this site. There is some really helpful info to be found. Refer to it when things are bad to remind you that all will be OK.
Try to find ways to fill your day to break that cycle of continually waiting and checking yourself for the next wave of overwhelming anxiety. Puzzle books, sketching, jigsaws. Whatever works for you. Have several things on the go to turn to as distraction.
You will not die from anxiety or panic.
Recovery will come in little steps and you will get through it and out the other side.
psychadelic-brie
19-09-14, 18:34
Thank you everyone for your replies. It's so kind of you all to take the time.
It's so strange. I *know* that I can't die from an attack etc. Yet part of me still wonders if it's possible! It's absolutely crazy at times. I have been trying to read reassuring things online. I haven't come across anything by Dr. Claire Weekes but I will try and check it out though.
Today I felt exhausted and dizzy, not to mention panicky. But I saw my mum and we did a bit of shopping. I didn't think I would be able to. Mad how it can be controlled. But it's so hard to control it constantly. I try not to feel suicidal but it's so hard to fight this. I need it to be better (maybe not 100%, but at least back to how I was a few weeks ago) so I can believe it is possible and I won't be like this forever!
Living in a state of high anxiety and fear is tiring. At this time it is natural for you to feel both mentally and physically drained and exhausted. Try to eat little and often. If you having trouble eating then don't worry about what you are taking in. Just getting something inside you is the important thing at the moment. Remember to drink lots too, preferably water and juice. Dehydration will add to your problems. If you feel sick try sucking a sugar lump or a teaspoon of sugar.
Practise your relaxation and breathing techniques. It will be difficult as you are so tense but it will help in the long term. Practise and practise again each day. You can find some here http://www.mentalhealth.org.uk/help-information/podcasts/
Have you read Dr Claire Weekes or listened to her CDs? http://www.amazon.co.uk/Pass-Through-Panic-Freeing-Yourself/dp/1565119703/ref=sr_1_3?ie=UTF8&qid=1411137429&sr=8-3&keywords=dr+claire+weekes. The audio was available on this site somewhere at one time but your local library may have a copy if someone would collect it for you. Also read the Articles on this site. There is some really helpful info to be found. Refer to it when things are bad to remind you that all will be OK.
Try to find ways to fill your day to break that cycle of continually waiting and checking yourself for the next wave of overwhelming anxiety. Puzzle books, sketching, jigsaws. Whatever works for you. Have several things on the go to turn to as distraction.
You will not die from anxiety or panic.
Recovery will come in little steps and you will get through it and out the other side.
I had what I think you'd describe as a nervous breakdown 5 years ago. Back then, I couldn't be on my own, couldn't look after my children, couldn't eat, couldn't sleep, couldn't really function at all - I was terrified all the time and begging to be put into hospital and drugged up so that I wouldn't have to wake up feeling the same way every day.
I have had a lot of bad times in my life, but I can honestly say that was the worst.
What turned my life around was a book by Claire Weekes called, "Self help for your Nerves." From the very first chapter, I began to feel better. She is brilliant at explaining what panic and anxiety is, and how to cope with it. Once you understand that you are not dying or going mad, you will immediately feel calmer and more in control.
I can't recommend it highly enough - it literally saved my sanity.
Today I felt exhausted and dizzy, not to mention panicky. But I saw my mum and we did a bit of shopping. I didn't think I would be able to. Mad how it can be controlled. But it's so hard to control it constantly. I try not to feel suicidal but it's so hard to fight this. I need it to be better (maybe not 100%, but at least back to how I was a few weeks ago) so I can believe it is possible and I won't be like this forever!
Well done for going shopping. Remember, you don't need to do everything in one day. Pace yourself, don't be in a rush to feel better. Trying to push yourself will only serve to tire you out too much which will increase your anxiety levels, which as you already know makes you more tired, which makes you even more anxious....... it's a continual circle.
Try going for short walks without having to go anywhere in particular. You are in charge of where you go and you can turn round and go home when you want. If you can get out, even for a little while, each day that will help you feel more positive. If you don't go out though do not beat yourself up about it. Tomorrow is another day.
When you have done something like going shopping recognise that you may be a bit more tired or anxious afterwards. Don't fight it, accept that this is how it is for now and it is OK. Be really proud of yourself for doing it and smile because you are made of tougher stuff than you realised.
psychadelic-brie
20-09-14, 13:09
In that case, I am going to go and look that book up online and buy it. I have had many books recommended to me over the years. Feel The Fear And Do It Anyway (which didn't really help me at all) and You Can Heal Your Life (I'm still yet to read). But another book won't hurt, especially if it could do the opposite.
Not feeling great today. I thought if you stayed in the same anxious situation, you anxiety generally decreased?
The idea is that you have to accept feeling anxious, and not try to fight it or wish it away (because wishing it away means you DON'T accept it).
Claire Weekes' mantra for success is face - accept - float - let time pass.
Wishing to feel better now is normal, but means you haven't accepted anxiety or let time pass.
Thinking about floating instead of fighting is amazingly helpful - it reduces the anxiety-adrenaline cycle.
psychadelic-brie
20-09-14, 17:05
I have no idea how to do that! Especially when I have to tell myself reassuring thoughts as part of my CBT!
---------- Post added at 17:05 ---------- Previous post was at 17:03 ----------
Well done for going shopping. Remember, you don't need to do everything in one day. Pace yourself, don't be in a rush to feel better. Trying to push yourself will only serve to tire you out too much which will increase your anxiety levels, which as you already know makes you more tired, which makes you even more anxious....... it's a continual circle.
Try going for short walks without having to go anywhere in particular. You are in charge of where you go and you can turn round and go home when you want. If you can get out, even for a little while, each day that will help you feel more positive. If you don't go out though do not beat yourself up about it. Tomorrow is another day.
When you have done something like going shopping recognise that you may be a bit more tired or anxious afterwards. Don't fight it, accept that this is how it is for now and it is OK. Be really proud of yourself for doing it and smile because you are made of tougher stuff than you realised.
Sorry, I didn't see this post! Thank you for your kind words. I am trying to accept it's how things are right now. It's hard to believe I am tough though!
How you feeling Brie? Chickpea is right the Claire Weekes book is really good, another one that I found really helpful and easy to read was Paul David's 'At last a life', he more or less teaches the same as Claire Weekes though.
Anyway I hope you're feeling a bit better! xx
psychadelic-brie
20-09-14, 18:54
I am feeling okay. It rises and falls. I just want to get back to how I have been lately where the anxiety is still there, but at least I feel comfortable when I'm not out. Thank you everyone for your support. It's helped me considerably.
I feel the same way I'm always panickying my panic attacks last all day driving me in sane
Sorry But i am decided to get 99 %better.the one percent is to keep some excitement in my life. Its the reason we see scary movies or read .
When you don't feel like eating but want to be nice to yourself put some fresh fruit in a blender add yoghurt or buttermilk and protein powder and add some frozen fruit aswell and you have a great drink(smoothy)
Anxiety takes a lot of energy and your brain works better when there is something to burn.
Try it you will love it.i think when we are in an anxiety state we should be extra nice to our body's. Warm showers, some nice body cream go to bed early with a good book, walk in nature
All the best
psychadelic-brie
24-09-14, 14:26
I have been trying to do that. Today is a bit rough but I am slowly feeling less constant anxiety. I find a bath before bed definitely helps at the moment as I am often particularly anxious in the morning and night.
Thanks again everyone for your help. I would be very lost otherwise.
Hello Psychadelic-Brie
Yes - It will get better.
Only you can do it - think positive.
That's what I tell myself.
although it is not working at the moment as I feel really low and frightened thanks for the input all of you nopey
psychadelic-brie
02-10-14, 19:57
Thanks hopey. I too, feel extremely frightened right now. I am feeling very panicky and can't think straight. I am moving out of my ex's house next week. I am worried I won't feel comfortable back at my mum's. I have to say goodbye to my girl rats soon because I can only take the boys with me. I am also grieving for my relationship. I didn't feel good yesterday and hoped today would be better, but I just feel worse. I can't stand the thought of it being this way forever.
It won't be this way forever. you are going through a really rough patch in your life at the moment. Anyone in your position would be feeling the same, anxiety sufferer or not. The feelings you are experiencing are completely normal given the circumstances. Give yourself permission to grieve for your broken relationship, the things you are losing and the changes that need to be made. The time will come when you will be able to think more clearly and start to move on to better and bigger things.
psychadelic-brie
03-10-14, 11:38
Thank you. You are right. The rational part of me knows everything you have just said is right. But I feel so panicky and I can't worrying it's going to get out of control. I really just want this part of my life over so I can come out the other side. It's like a really bad nightmare. I feel so panicky it's hard to do anything. It's paralyzing and I have loads of packing to be doing and cleaning.
Hi -brie,
I started visiting these forums in 2006 when I first started to seal with bad anxiety and panic attacks. Everyone here assured me it would pass. Well guess, what? It did! It takes work, but eventually after you just let the adrenaline rushes come and go the best you can, the anxious feelings you have will become less and less. Eventually anxiety it won't be on your mind.
I know that's hard to believe right now, to think you will live a life without thinking about anxiety. If you look at my first posts here I was so scared about not living a normal life, but the last eight years have been wonderful. Yes, I suffered a bit of a setback a couple days ago and I'm working on recovering, but it's a road I've been down before and it can be overcome again.
You have a lot to live for and this is the only chance at life you get, don't even think for a second that you'd be better off by not living. Keep working with your therapist and keep coming here for support. When you feel anxiety coming, let it come and tell yourself that this anxiety can't hurt you. The day will come where you'll be okay and you'll be able to share your success story to help somebody else.
Much love...
Joe
psychadelic-brie
06-10-14, 11:04
That's very kind of you to say. I think I am slowly realising it will get better but it's just a particularly rocky time right now. I got better before, I just feel I don't have the same willpower as last time. But I sort of have to, so I'm sure I will. I worry about posting lots on here in case I annoy people. So I try to keep it limited. Panic makes me rather erratic I find!
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