View Full Version : Help... serious offload
I just really need to offload...
Serious anxiety, serious stress, multitude of health problems, lonely, financial problems....
It's all just getting too much today.
I managed xmas by taking my 85 year old mother to stay in a hotel and got back yesterday. It was ok, but I'm a young 52 year old, used to be a punk, love my reggae and r'n'b and rock too and was stuck in a world of 80 year olds for 3 solid days. I had my dog and had some walks (but got anxious going too far away) and slept very badly on a vile mattress with clanking central heating that kept me awake most of the night.
I got back yesterday exhausted but glad to sleep in my own bed.
I have nearly a week off work but no money, health not good enough to do any socialising and I am between lodgers and have to clear up the room which I started this morning and it's absolutely disgusting. I have a one bed flat which is just big enough for me to live in a bedsit and let out the bedroom but it's really MY bedroom and it is in such a state it really depressed me. The lodger that has just left has made such a mess and loads of heavy stuff of mine (tv chair computer etc) was packed in a cupboard. I'm not supposed to lift stuff with my hernia. I have ME and I am so tired. I have no-one who can help me. I can't afford to pay someone. So I am just trying to do it.
My son is totally tied up with my daughter-in-law (some reading this will know about Sarah's leukaemia) and although she is doing really well he has no time or energy for me at all.
I have no other family other than a brother who is not interested at all - couldn't even be bothered to visit my mum when we stated in a hotel over xmas no more than 3 miles away - I had to take her there. He has a huge 4 bed house and has never even had her to stay there.
I have always had so many friends but hey, where are they now? Since I have been so ill, anxious, depressed and skint they have all disappeared. I don't suppose I'm very good company and I know I'm moody - huh walk a mile in my shoes I say.
I have enough equity to move out of brighton and buy somewhere nice to live in an area that I don't know anyone but I'm too scared and I have a job at the Council here. No-one would ever employ me again with my sick record.
I really have had just about enough. This morning I could have walked into the sea. No-one would have noticed for days.
I don't know what to do - I constantly turn over my options but I'm too tired and anxious to change the few securities I have - knowing the area, mum nearby, job, etc.
So I'll just have to carry on like a mouse in a wheel.
So so so fed up.....
Fee xxxxxx
www.like2like.com
Why live life anticipating the bad things when you could be anticipating the good?
Good and bad things WILL happen!
groovygranny
28-12-06, 13:00
Hello feege - sorry you are feeling so down.
I'm also a 'young-at-heart' 52yr old and I think you have been very brave and self-sacrificing over Chiristmas!
Please PM me if you feel like it.
Take care
GG [:P]
xxx
'There are no such things as strangers; just friends we haven't made yet!'
Hi there Fee
I do hope you are feeling better today. Im on msn if you feel like a chat im on most evenings. Please take care
Anne xx
(((((Fee)))))
Sorry to hear you feel so fed up mate, I know how you feel, sometimes things just catch up with us and get too much don't they. This is a stresful time of year for many as it is and you've had a stressful year (along with many successes too). You've had alot to deal with - ie anxiety, many genuine physical ailments, tests, building back up at work, xmas - need I go on. This is without mentioning what has been happening with Sarah and that would have been so stressful in itself. Having ME on top makes everything much harder - for many people just having ME would make them feel like you are and understandably so.
Financial problems are very difficult to cope with too, life is so much more enjoyable if we are able physically and financially to enjoy a few things and although some pleasures don't cost money many do. I understand about friends too, it's difficult but some don't understand illness and run away from it - that's when you know who your true friends are. Oh Fee I wish we lived closer mate, we'd help/support each other so much - and have loads of laughs no doubt!
I always admire how you cope so well with everything you are dealing with, I think you're amazing to do so much - in fact sometimes I think you do too much and take on too much. You are so caring, you have so much going on yourself and you're always there for others too. I wish someone was there for you to help you from day to day in person as no one deserves it more.
Christmas sounds hard but at least you did it, you achieved something that wasn't easy for you and I bet your Mum was pleased you took her away.
I hope you get the room sorted for the lodger soon, I know how hard that must be physically at least. I understand about wanting to stay living where you are too for your Mum, job, doctor etc. I am the same. Is there anyway you could stay in the same area and move maybe to the outskirts of Brighton and make some money from the flat sale? Did you give any more thoughts to the Gillingham idea and being near your sister in law? It's so hard to make decisions when we feel so down and ill I know and what we know, even if not perfect, does make us feel somewhat secure. Sometimes making a change can be the best thing we ever did and lead to a whole new and better life but there is no way to know beforehand unfortunately (I wish there was!).
I just want to come over there and give you the biggest hug, hold your hand and tell you it will all be ok - wish I could!
I hope you feel better soon, give Jet a big squeeze and I'm here if you need me.
Lots of love,
Lisa x
Thank you so much GG Anne and Lisa...
My 65 year old neighbour has come and helped me bless her and we have got loads done. I feel so guilty, she is always the one to carry my load... and she is so tired and poorly too!
I'm just so desperate to do something to get out of this situation but no matter how many times I plan things each plan is fundamentally flawed...
But I am plodding on and so so grateful - especially to you Lisa, you understand so much about my situation it is really reassuring and I am so glad we have made friends here!
Hope you are all havinga better day than me! Back to work now.....
xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx
Fee xxxxxx
www.like2like.com
Why live life anticipating the bad things when you could be anticipating the good?
Good and bad things WILL happen!
Hi Fee,
I am sorry to hear that you are sooo down. You did a wonderful thing taking your mum away for Christmas, hope that she appreciated it! Both my kids have ME, one worse than the other. My son is 24 and is finding living with ME really hard. He has had to give up his job and failed his unit on the Open University. Life can deal us some sh** at times and its hard to keep going. I have felt l,ike you at times, but know ending it all would hurt too any people. I hope that you begin to feel better soon.
TC xxx
Lizzie1975
28-12-06, 18:03
Hi feege,
Am on my way out but just read your post and will try and get on to reply more fully as soon as i can, but just wanted to say with everything going on, you sound like you're doing AMAZINGLY. It's no wonder you feel overloaded at the moment, i don't think i could cope with half of what you're managing, so hang in there and remember to remember you and be kind to yourself and proud !
Lizzie XX
Hi Fee,
I'm glad your neighbour came and helped you get things done, that was kind of her. Try not to feel bad (I know I would too...) but she probably enjoys helping you and wouldn't do it if she couldn't.
I am so glad we have made friends here too Fee :D I'd like nothing more than to meet you in person one day too. I do understand how you feel because we both have alot of the same problems and are so similar in what we think and feel and it can help to talk to someone that really understands.
You just keep plodding on and things can and WILL get better for you again.
Remember I am here for you so shout if you need to offload anytime or if I can help with anything:).
Hope you have a nice relaxing evening,
Love and hugs,
Lisa x
Hi Fee, I know where you are coming from mate (another young 50yr.old) Don't give up the fight, I see you have friends on here.
The family issue sounds tough, I've history there too.
[8)]
I am very much into music too Fee, it takes you away from all the crap;)
D.
Hi ya button,
You did so well over Christmas and it was very kind of you to take your mum away like that.:)
I always feel things come in to focus more sharply at this time of year and make you look at your lot with more scutiny, assessing exactly where your at and not always liking it.
I'm at a funny age (I've been saying that every year for about 20 years[:I]) but particularly so in the last couple. I do identify with you and there's a lot more I could say about my own personal situation but I think I may feel different tomorrow, so I won't I don't think [:I]:D
One of the reasons I really want to sort the agoraphobia out is that it's sending my own life down a more secluded path than I fancied too.
Right off the topic now - shall we do a naked Nomorepanic calander, like off 'Calander Girls'.
We could hide our bits behind paper bags and bottles of water. I could lie back on the pavement gazing at the stars sipping 'Rescue Remedy. Lisa could have a big medical book propped up in front of her bits.
Ray could do the photo's and have his camera slung over his bits for his month. Nic (old salad dodger) could have big pieces of lettuce over hers!! Mirry and Strawberrie could have their handmade crafts covering theirs. Kate could sit in a dentists chair, Karen wrapped in her knitted scarves.
Sax and Trac could use long lists of questions and Bobsy in a chelsea shirt - cor I could go on and on. Oh and Ross could do all the graphics aswell as being the handsome beast on the back page. Please feel free to add what month and how you'd be placed. Fee yours needs to involve 'Jet' in the best possible taste!! :D
What'd ya think? :D:D:D:D
Piglet xx
"Supposing a tree fell down, Pooh, when we were underneath it?" said Piglet.
"Supposing it didn't," said Pooh after careful thought.
Lol Piglet!
Can I have the hunky cardio covering my bits? :D[:I][:I] No [:O] Er ok well I'll settle for being hidden by a medical book and bp machine then while looking seductive with a thermometer in my mouth! lol.
Is this your latest "risky" idea? Lol.
Lisa x :D
rofl lol lol lol piglet - I lurve you!!!
How could jet and I not be tasteful - I dont understand!!![:O]
He's plenty big enough to hide everything I've got anyway.... But I'm not sure he's prepared to pose naked - he'll need to keep his collar and flashing lights on lol!!!!
Fab idea hun!!!
Well most of the stuff in the room is done, curtains washed (but not sure they survived - am going to Matalan tomorrow and try to replace them!)
It's so sad though - carpet didn't come all that clean and it was so lovely 2 years ago... I would so love to redecorate and go and sleep in there...
Poor Jet hasn't had a very good day today but he really enjoyed the hotel - everyone loved him and he absolutely loved the sandy beach!! Ran for miles and miles...
My friend was so brilliant, listened and helped me so much but she is worn out too...
I hope 2007 is a better one!
Hi Dave - nice to meet you! I often feel like giving up but I can't find the off switch lol!!! Fighting's in my nature!
Sooooo tired - but thanks again lisa and piglet and everyone - what would I do without this site?
Love to all xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx
Fee xxxxxx
www.like2like.com
Why live life anticipating the bad things when you could be anticipating the good?
Good and bad things WILL happen!
Fee,
I'm so sorry you have been feeling so c**p. You have done a lovely thing taking your mother away for christmas. Going away is sometimes more exciting in thought than it is in reality eh? I was away recently with a lot of very old people and lovely as they were, it is nice to have someone more on your level to chat to.
We have days where it gets too much. Reading through this site, I think a few people have post xmas blues. We spend all our energy in trying to keep ok for crimbo ,that I think mental exhaustion is on the cards for after it.
Finances make things hard too. It is said that money doesn't buy happiness, but I think it helps!
You do have friends on this site and people do care but I understand how lonely things can be sometimes, even when people are there!
It's good that you have a neighbour helping out. I bet you are a help to her too, people like to feel they can assist.
Take care
Happyone
x
<b id="quote">quote:</b id="quote"><table border="0" id="quote"><tr id="quote"><td class="quote" id="quote">
Right off the topic now - shall we do a naked Nomorepanic calander, like off 'Calander Girls'.
We could hide our bits behind paper bags and bottles of water. I could lie back on the pavement gazing at the stars sipping 'Rescue Remedy. Lisa could have a big medical book propped up in front of her bits.
Ray could do the photo's and have his camera slung over his bits for his month. Nic (old salad dodger) could have big pieces of lettuce over hers!! Mirry and Strawberrie could have their handmade crafts covering theirs. Kate could sit in a dentists chair, Karen wrapped in her knitted scarves.
Sax and Trac could use long lists of questions and Bobsy in a chelsea shirt - cor I could go on and on. Oh and Ross could do all the graphics aswell as being the handsome beast on the back page. Please feel free to add what month and how you'd be placed. Fee yours needs to involve 'Jet' in the best possible taste!! :D
What'd ya think? :D:D:D:D
Piglet xx
"Supposing a tree fell down, Pooh, when we were underneath it?" said Piglet.
"Supposing it didn't," said Pooh after careful thought.
<div align="right">Originally posted by Piglet - 28 December 2006 : 19:17:00</div id="right">
</td id="quote"></tr id="quote"></table id="quote">
My Suggestion = Piglet, Full Site Ban for at least 6months for suggesting such a thing! [8)]
________________________________________
Is There Really Gravity, Or Does Earth Just Suck?
Hi Fee,
Well done for getting so much done today, you did so well :D. You sound alot more positive tonight too.
Big hugs to you and hugs for Jet too :).
Love Lisa x
nomorepanic
28-12-06, 23:57
Fee
Hope you feel better soon. It helps to offload sometimes and let it all out.
xxx
Nicola
People will forget what you said
People will forget what you did
But people will never forget how you made them feel
Thanks to all you lovely people!
I do feel a little better this evening - if I can get a good night's sleep I might be able to get back on track tomorrow!
Love and hugs and deep relaxing sleep to you all xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx
Fee xxxxxx
www.like2like.com
Why live life anticipating the bad things when you could be anticipating the good?
Good and bad things WILL happen!
Glad you feel a bit better now Fee :D.
I hope you are fast asleep now and wake feeling alot better.
Love Lisa x
Hi Fee,
How are you today? I hope you're feeling alot better and have made it to matalan.
Thinking of you,
Lisa x
Hi Fee
So sorry you are struggling at present. You did so well over Christmas and I can imagine how stressful it was for you taking your mum away and then coming back to all that clearing up.
If it's any consolation I empathise regarding the financial situation, except I'm now renting and cannot really afford the rent on the flat where I'm living at present. I have been looking for somewhere else but cannot find anything suitable in my price range and I'm only looking for a studio. I might have to consider moving away from my area too.
<b id="quote">quote:</b id="quote"><table border="0" id="quote"><tr id="quote"><td class="quote" id="quote">Right off the topic now - shall we do a naked Nomorepanic calander, like off 'Calander Girls'...
Karen wrapped in her knitted scarves.
<div align="right">Originally posted by Piglet - 28 December 2006 : 19:17:00</div id="right">
</td id="quote"></tr id="quote"></table id="quote">
OMG Piglet [:O][:O][:O]. I don't think I'll be exposing any part of myself, particularly now I am so fat [No].
I hope today has been better for you Fee.
Karen xx
Hi Girls
Yes today has been much better - didn't sleep badly and got myself to matalan (nothing that I was looking for though) and food shopping with mum, dog walking, more clearing up etc!
Still tired and wish I had another whole week off really!
But I'm hanging in there!!!
Hope you are all ok xxxxxxxxxxxxxxx
Fee xxxxxx
www.like2like.com
Why live life anticipating the bad things when you could be anticipating the good?
Good and bad things WILL happen!
Well done Fee. You are doing great. Just take it one hour at a time if you are struggling.
Karen xx
Fee - do you have a Rosebys near you, or even Argos as they are quite reasonable for curtains. Or could you order online to save going out shopping as you go back to work now?
Love Piglet xx
"Supposing a tree fell down, Pooh, when we were underneath it?" said Piglet.
"Supposing it didn't," said Pooh after careful thought.
Thanks karen and piglet!
I am trying to pace myself better now I have got the worst of it out of the way but you know what it's like, now I've started cleaning (and I must say my room looks very nice - I'd rent it!) I want to clean everywhere and move things around! I haven't done yet but it's so frustrating!
I have re-hung the old curtains, washed and ironed but they are very tired so I am going to look in QS (only the classiest places lol!) and Roseby's is a good idea too! New curtains or at least a rug would just make it look so much better... My new lodger phoned today and he always sounds so lovely, polite and friendly so I'm optimistic it will be good for me. He is a lot younger than Mark and I feel quite maternal - his mother is bringing him on Tuesday as he's been there over xmas!
I have a rotten headache at the mo so off to take something and slob in front of tv.
He he Celeb BB coming - that usually keeps me out of mischief lol!!!
Hope you are all ok - wish I had energy to look around the site!
Love to all xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx
Fee xxxxxx
www.like2like.com
Why live life anticipating the bad things when you could be anticipating the good?
Good and bad things WILL happen!
<b id="quote">quote:</b id="quote"><table border="0" id="quote"><tr id="quote"><td class="quote" id="quote">
Right off the topic now - shall we do a naked Nomorepanic calander, like off 'Calander Girls'.
We could hide our bits behind paper bags and bottles of water. I could lie back on the pavement gazing at the stars sipping 'Rescue Remedy. Lisa could have a big medical book propped up in front of her bits.
Ray could do the photo's and have his camera slung over his bits for his month. Nic (old salad dodger) could have big pieces of lettuce over hers!! Mirry and Strawberrie could have their handmade crafts covering theirs. Kate could sit in a dentists chair, Karen wrapped in her knitted scarves.
Sax and Trac could use long lists of questions and Bobsy in a chelsea shirt - cor I could go on and on. Oh and Ross could do all the graphics aswell as being the handsome beast on the back page. Please feel free to add what month and how you'd be placed. Fee yours needs to involve 'Jet' in the best possible taste!! :D
What'd ya think? :D:D:D:D
<div align="right">Originally posted by Piglet - 28 December 2006 : 19:17:00</div id="right">
</td id="quote"></tr id="quote"></table id="quote">
Piglet - what a fab idea!
Instead of using the pavement, why don't you lie down in a vat of Pringles covering up your bits and pieces? Instant sponsorship! In fact, they have so much publicity on this forum, I think they ought to pay for the running of it anyway!
Fee - glad you having a better day today.
Take Care all,
Mr. January[8D]
Well Mr January,
I totally love the idea of a vat of pringles :D:D and I shall be Mrs April :D. I don't even think I will have to arrange the pringles as they have been falling down my front all Xmas in my effort to eat faster than the kids!! I almost don't dare to get unchanged for fear of how much will drop to the ground (you can take that any way you like [:I]:D:D)
PIGlet :)
ginger2006
29-12-06, 23:24
Hello Fee
You do sound fed up. It's difficult to read your message and not want to wave a magic wand and make anxiety a thing of the past.
I've suffered from it for years and I worry that at some point in the future it will cause my relationship to go down the swany. I'm sure that my partner thinks I'm a liability, infact I think that I'm a liability myself.
I'm anxious about everything and have nobody to talk to about it.
I hope that you're feeling better today and have managed to fight the dark thoughts!
LOL
Ginger x
I will be in the calendar!!!!
Dont mind which month but with a nicorette patch stuck over me gob!!!!!
They dont work on my arm!!!!!
HAPPY NEW YEAR ALL
luv kaz x x x
Hi Fee,
Glad you're doing better today and managed to get to matalan and do a few other things. I hope your head feels better soon too.
Glad the new lodger sounds nice and friendly :D.
I hope you have a good nights sleep again too.
Love and hugs,
Lisa x
PS I will take October in the calendar if that's ok guys :D
Thanks Ginger - I think I would be too much of a liability too if a Mr Perfect came along.... shame cos I would like to have another man in my life one day, but it's hard to imagine who could cope with me!!
Now girls... please a little decorum in my place if you don't mind[:O] Piglet I'm sure nothing more than crumbs drop when you get changed hun!!! Kazzie I laughed at the patches... they didn't work for me but I suppose I could try covering myself in them for the photoshoot... two birds with one stone maybe!
Just off to bed but I have decided I'd like to be Ms(how pc) June if that's ok.... Ms Flaming June? Who said that?!!!
nighty night all! xxxxxxxxxxx
Fee xxxxxx
www.like2like.com
Why live life anticipating the bad things when you could be anticipating the good?
Good and bad things WILL happen!
Lol Kaz and Fee at your patches!!! :D:D:D
Piglet xx
"Supposing a tree fell down, Pooh, when we were underneath it?" said Piglet.
"Supposing it didn't," said Pooh after careful thought.
Oh Fee my heart goes out to you
My advice would be to take time out for yourself just now - even just an hour. Put on some relaxing music, lie down and chill, put on some candles, treat yourself to a self massage, it works wonders and maybe do a visualisation tape if you have one.
Stop and be good to yourself - dont try and think of options just now - enjoy the hour for yourself it will do you the world of good.
Take care
Darkangel x
........life is for living not just for surviving
Hi Fee,
Hope you're ok today and having a good day :)
Lisa x
Thanks Darkangel - that's exactly what I keep trying to do lol! Somehow I just can't relax enough at the moment to make it happen!
However I have managed to make my lodger's room look lovely and it has reminded me why I keep struggling to keep this flat - it really is a lovely space if I could have it all to myself one day! It WILL happen (fingers crossed).
I have had a good day, a nice walk in the sunshine on the beach - it was so mild and sunny it felt like spring... until the storm got here this afternoon! Wow it has been a blustery one.
Did a bit of shopping in Hove, then had a quick drink and something to eat with chris at tea time. Keep pottering around moving things and cleaning, just can't seem to stop - but I'm enjoying it despite being exhausted.
Chris has given me a book to read called "Full Catastrophe Living". I think he's trying to tell me something! He was a little impatient with me when I threw my hissy fit on Weds... I know it's true that my biggest problem is anxiety and if I could learn to relax I could deal with everything else far better. Well, we all know that don't we?! However, I would like to see him walk a mile in my shoes - it really has been an onslaught of anxiety inducing events and I am getting better at coping - it's just sometimes the lid blows off and unfortunately I have decided I am officially not only suffering from SAD so hating the winter but I am definitely allergic to xmas!
Anyway, I seem to be a bit back on track - ailments minimal (currently only think I have oral cancer and possibly something gynae that is sinister). That's just 2 rather than my usual 5 or 6!
Ho hum...
And I so want to give up smoking but even my CBT counsellor thought the spring would be a better time and that I should plan it really thoroughly. But things keep happening to stop me progressing, it's always crisis management with me! I am concerned that my CBT has turned into therapy and while I may need it I really wanted to make changes. I guess I'm being imatient but I'm getting old and don't want to be like this for the rest of my life...
Mark and Sarah are in Sussex - they were going to come to me but don't feel confident about being round Jet and I also felt very stressed about it so they are staying in my favourite hotel in the downs and I will go and join them for lunch tomorrow. It feels very weird not to have seen mark at xmas, although it is the second year running as they were in Tenerife last year. I hope the weather improves in the morning!
It's still really scary, they are both so tired and tense - I hope they are comfortable there.
I hope you are all having good days - love n hugs xxxxxxxxxxxxx
Fee xxxxxx
www.like2like.com
Why live life anticipating the bad things when you could be anticipating the good?
Good and bad things WILL happen!
Hi Fee,
Sounds like you've had a productive day. The walk on the beach sound soooo lovely :).
I didn't know there was any other way to live than full catastrophe [:O];) lol. Seriously though I hope you find the book useful, I've not read that one. I think it is hard for others to understand what we go through and they can't always if they haven't suffered it themselves. I agree if they had to walk a mile in our shoes it would be a different story......... Take my hubby, he is totally fed up after being ill for a few days, he'd really not cope having something long term like ME. Shows that we do actually cope really well eh!
I hope you have a lovely lunch with Mark and Sarah tomorrow.
You will give up smoking mate, when the time is right for you. My hubby really was the last person on earth who I thought would be able to give up then suddenly he just did it, got the patches from the practice nurse and has been ciggie free for over 18 months now. You can and will do it one day.
Glad the ailments are minimal today too :D.
Lots of love,
Lisa x
Hi Fee
Sounds like you had a good day. We had that ferocious storm here too! It was very blustery and wet.
I'm sure you will give up smoking when the time is right. Have you tried the Alan Carr book? Or hypnotherapy?
Hope you have a lovely time with Mark and Sarah tomorrow.
Karen xx
Have a good time with Mark and Sarah babes and I will be back in later to see how you went.
Love Piglet xx
"Supposing a tree fell down, Pooh, when we were underneath it?" said Piglet.
"Supposing it didn't," said Pooh after careful thought.
Hi Fee,
I hope you had a lovely lunch with Sarah and Mark, I bet it was lovely to see them both.
Hope you're ok today and I'd like to wish you a very happy and healthy new year.
Lots of love and hugs,
Lisa x x
How'd it go and a Happy New Year to you mate :)
Love Piglet xx
"Supposing a tree fell down, Pooh, when we were underneath it?" said Piglet.
"Supposing it didn't," said Pooh after careful thought.
Hi Lisa karen and piglet!!!
It was lovely to see M&S - we had a lovely lunch and tried to go for a walk but Jet didn't fancy being a kite!!! What a wind - it must be crazy up north!!
I was exhausted afterwards and slept for 2 hours! Took Jet with my friend up to the pub for 2 drinks and am home now to celebrate with my little man - we are watching the fireworks from the balcony and playing with the squeaky ball in between!
Happy new year to you all - you have seen me through a very very difficult year and I have been contemplating the positives - Sarah had her transplant which we thought would never happen and it is going well; I got Jet - Yippee!; I have reduced my hours and got DLA/WTC; I found out what was wrong with my tummy (mainly - hernia etc) and although it's not exactly under control I know my heart is ok too; my mum is healthier than she was last year; I haven't had a full blown panic attack for yonks; I have found a really good counsellor; I have done much more driving and walking about on my own; and last, but by no means least, I have made some wonderful friends here and I truly hope we all get to meet in person one day!
I am really hopeful that these things will mean a significantly better year ahead[8D][8D][8D]
I hope you are all having a lovely evening and that 2007 brings you all peace, love, happiness, confidence, freedom, joy and takes you all nearer to your goals...
Love and hugs xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx
Fee xxxxxx
www.like2like.com
Why live life anticipating the bad things when you could be anticipating the good?
Good and bad things WILL happen!
HAPPY NEW YEAR! :D:D:D
I'm so pleased you had a lovely time with M & S :D. Very windy here today too actually.
Sounds lovely watching the fireworks over the sea :).
Well done for contemplating the positives - and what alot there were eh! :D I know it's been such a hard year for you but look what you have achieved, well done :D.
I hope 2007 is everything you hope it will be, I wish you health and happiness, and I wish that for M&S too and hope for Sarah to go from strength to strength with her health. You all deserve nothing but better times ahead.
Lots of love and some positive vibes to start the year off well *~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~* :D.
Lots of love,
Lisa x
Thanks Lisa and Karen!
What a beautiful sunny morning - I really enjoyed myself last night, very relaxed and slept well - then woke up to sunshine which lifted my spirits hugely!!
Got nothing I HAVE to do today so just pottering around doing housework which is nice!
Hope you are all well xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx
Fee xxxxxx
www.like2like.com
Why live life anticipating the bad things when you could be anticipating the good?
Good and bad things WILL happen!
Aww glad you had a lovely time with Mark and Sarah mate and I hope you get see plenty of them in the coming year. :D:D:D
Big hugs
Piglet xx
"Supposing a tree fell down, Pooh, when we were underneath it?" said Piglet.
"Supposing it didn't," said Pooh after careful thought.
Hi Fee,
Glad you had a good night and hope you've had a nice day pottering about :D.
Lisa x
Lizzie1975
02-01-07, 11:05
Hi Feege,
Happy new year! Sounds like you're doing much better and feeling positive - wonderful, hope the year goes onwards and upwards for you!
Lizzie XX
Thanks lisa piglet and lizzie...
Yes yesterday was a really really good day. But I'm back at work today and inundated with stuff - we have an awayday tomorrow which I am responsible for - horrible training/admin stuff that I will have to lead on. I have come back to a wall of work and loads of stressy stuff going on and by 11am my hernia started playing up. What can I do? I just don't think I'm well enough to work but I am so frightened of the options that I just keep going...
Hopefully, maybe, after tomorrow it won't be so bad - just a bad version of a monday morning!
Oh well, onwards and upwards as they say!!!
Hope you are all well xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx
Fee xxxxxx
www.like2like.com
Why live life anticipating the bad things when you could be anticipating the good?
Good and bad things WILL happen!
Oh Fee I really feel for you hun - you're so marvellous to struggle on when you don't feel at all well.
It's one thing to feel panicky at work but it's quite another to feel physically poorly too.
Not sure what to suggest here mate but I really hope you start feeling better immediatley!!!
Big hugs soldier!
Piglet x
(((((Fee)))))
Hi Fee mate, I totally understand how you feel regarding the work issue, I really do. As you know I am off today again. I tend to only take time off when I really have to now and like you often struggle in and cope somehow, but I rarely feel truly well enough to be there. I often think about giving up work but like you say the options there are scary aren't they. I fear if I leave I will never work again as many don't once they stop. I expect (hope) that as you say it's just a bad "Monday" morning feeling which isn't suprising if you are so busy on top.
As Piglet said you are amazing and you are always my inspiration to try and carry on and cope with things :D.
Hope your day has got better, lots of love,
Lisa x
Thanks so much piglet and lisa! It's so good to have people around who know what's going on with me and really understand...
I do seem to have improved a bit again now I've chipped away at some of the work - and after tomorrow I hope it will improve again... I just have to keep telling myself to slow down - I always want to do everything quicker and better than everyone else and never want to leave any work undone which is part of my problem - that's the anxiety and that's what I reckon makes us drive ourselves into the ground and get ME. But I never learn!!!
I Get to go home soon and walk Jet and the sun is out :D:D
Take care all of you xxxxxxxxxxxxxxx
Fee xxxxxx
www.like2like.com
Why live life anticipating the bad things when you could be anticipating the good?
Good and bad things WILL happen!
Hi Fee,
Glad things have improved mate. What you wrote could have been about me, ie wanting to get things done and well and quickly etc and I never do anything slowly if I can rush full steam ahead. You wouldn't believe what I used to fit into a day pre ME. I was also (and still am a bit) a total perfectionist! I have been told several times it's people like us that get ME.... but will we learn - oh no! I think it's just the way we are, but if we could learn to slow down I bet it would help. I have had to slow down alot but then just end up frustrated about it. I hate leaving work (of any sort) undone too. Hey I bet you and I make great employees though :D. A doc (not mine) one told me that having anxiety makes people great employees too as it makes us so conscientious - has to be some benefits eh!
Have a lovely walk with Jet in the sun :D.
Lisa x
Well done for coping so well today Fee. It sounds like the stress would have been challenging for anyone, let alone someone with emotional and physical health problems.
I'm sure you have done all you can to make tomorrow a success and I hope it goes well for you. Will be thinking of you.
Karen xx
Hope today is easier hun :)
Piglet xx
"Supposing a tree fell down, Pooh, when we were underneath it?" said Piglet.
"Supposing it didn't," said Pooh after careful thought.
Hi Fee,
I too hope you're having a better day today :D.
Love Lisa x
Thanks karen, lisa and piglet...
Sadly it has been worse. I had a dreadful night with horrible tummy pain again so ended up taking loads of meds and a sleeping tablet and oversleeping and I don't know how I got through today - just got in. I even had to eat a lunch which I couldn't really eat.
Feel really really rubbish and going to try and rest now...
Hope you are all ok xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx
Fee xxxxxx
www.like2like.com
Why live life anticipating the bad things when you could be anticipating the good?
Good and bad things WILL happen!
(((((Fee)))))
Aww mate, sorry you feel worse and had a bad night. I hope you feel better after a rest and hopefully a better nights sleep tonight.
You did so well to cope with being at work all day though - so proud of you. It's bad enough having to struggle in to work when feeling so rough but having to cope with an awayday today shows how well you cope.
Lots of love,
Lisa x
Thanks Lisa.. but I don't feel like that - I feel awful. Had half an hour's rest but the pain in my tummy is agony and I just don't know what to take or do again.
The doc at the hospital said take half a low dose of lanzaprozole every other day so my body would get used to it and I should have been doing that I suppose - but while I wasn't working I had no pain in my tummy at all and it just came straight back after one day at work. So depressing. I don't have the low dose and haven't organised to get any yet - I have some of the high dose 30mg and can't face taking it - it made me feel so lousy. It still scares me every time I get it because I have only had it this acutely since the endoscoopy and I keep thinking they have done something to me. The pain comes on so suddenly and so acutely. On the other hand it goes away of its own accord too - after the hospital it went completely the next day. I just don't understand. I have a digestive disorders appt in February and I'm hoping they will help me sort it out. At least I have had a biopsy which is one thing out of the picture. My friend at work who has had a similar problem turned out to have a gallstone in her bile duct which they only found out because she kept ending up in A&E and finally scanned her. It's so annoying they don't just do all these tests straight away - she had been struggling for two years and went to A&E about 5 times. They operated on her 3 days before xmas and she is absolutely fine now. Why can't they sort me out?
I also have my gynae appt next week and fortunately it is covered by my medical plan so I hope to get all the tests done quickly. I wish I had had cover for my digestive stuff.
I feel so sick, with stabbing shooting pains all across my ribs and I have taken loads of pain killers but nothing is helping. It shoots all round my back and into my chest and even my arms - but at least I know it's not my heart now!.
I just couldn't get off the toilet in the night - not diarrohea but I just kept going and going. That's the IBS/ME side of it, irritated by my hormones and stress. I don't know what or whether to eat or take. I have to sleep tonight and work the rest of this week - I just have to. I'm so miserable after feeling so much better.
It wasn't THAT much stress - just busy at work yesterday, a bit unsettled by having the new lodger and and bit nervous about the away day but it's like my body just goes into overdrive. I just couldn't stop yesterday - I knew it was too much but didn't know how to manage.
I will phone my GP in the morning and have another chat... but he has basically given up and referred me to the hosp so I probably just have to cope somehow.
This much pain is not acceptable to me. I have put up with so much over the years but I'm sick of it so I'm not going to let it rest!
I hope you are all ok.... and that I will be later!
Love n hugs xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx
Fee xxxxxx
www.like2like.com
Why live life anticipating the bad things when you could be anticipating the good?
Good and bad things WILL happen!
(((((Fee)))))
Oh Fee mate, I am so sorry to hear you feel so poorly :(. I wish I could give you a hug and make it all better. Does taking anything help, painkillers, gaviscon, your sleeper tablet? Would taking the 30mg tablet ease the pain, I know you don't want to and they make you feel lousy but if the pain is that bad is it worth a try?
I would speak to the gp in the morning, maybe they can move your appt along quicker or suggest something. They have had a good look inside you recently so it's not likely to be anything serious. Gallbladder is possible but it doesn't sound too like that. Saying that I've had shooting pains in my gallbladder area and lower across my tummy & back the last few days - I'm sure I come out in sympathy with you! I had an ultrasound scan on my gallbladder a few years back, maybe they could arrange that for you too, it probably isn't that but one more thing to tick off as ok. It could be IBS/ME along with the other known tummy probs you have but I agree totally that living with that much distress and pain is not acceptable.
Let us know how you get on tomorrow and try and get some of the tabs and start them. My Uncle had tummy/acid probs and now he takes omeprozole once every day he gets no pains/problems at all, it really can help if taken regularly - yes I know, I'm the same with meds!
Your gp won't have given up, it's just that there is only so much they can do and that is why you have been referred on, but do have a chat and see if anything else can be done in the meantime.
You say you don't have much stress but it may be more than you think (you often tell me this ;)). You've had Sarah's transplant, then xmas, health issues, waiting for appts, a new lodger and work stress, the pressure to work etc - I'd say that's quite alot to deal with, even if it's only subconsciously that it's affecting you.
Hang in there, as you'd tell me it can and will get better.
Lots of love and here if you need me.
Lisa x
Hi Lisa
Thanks for your really thoughtful message. I know you're right - I do hope they will do a few more tests to see if anything else is going on when I go in February and I WILL get the lanzaprozole low dose (which is the same type of thing as omeprazole).
I am not so bad - it eased off during the evening and I managed to sleep and get to work again. It still hurts though. Haven't had a chance to ring the doc - was too busy between 9.15 and 10 when you are allowed to ring and talk to doc. I think I'd better make another appt.
Got to get on - but I hope you are ok today xxxxxxxxxxxxxx
Fee xxxxxx
www.like2like.com
Why live life anticipating the bad things when you could be anticipating the good?
Good and bad things WILL happen!
<b id="quote">quote:</b id="quote"><table border="0" id="quote"><tr id="quote"><td class="quote" id="quote">You say you don't have much stress but it may be more than you think (you often tell me this ;)). You've had Sarah's transplant, then xmas, health issues, waiting for appts, a new lodger and work stress, the pressure to work etc - I'd say that's quite alot to deal with, even if it's only subconsciously that it's affecting you.
Lisa x
<div align="right">Originally posted by LJ - 03 January 2007 : 22:56:43</div id="right">
</td id="quote"></tr id="quote"></table id="quote">
Yes I agree with Lisa here mate.
I really feel for you as I know when I had, what I can only presume was IBS, for about 4/5 months a couple of years ago, I was getting more and more distressed. I couldn't go out for having diareaha (sorry spelling) not that the going out bothered me overly much but I also had such awful indigestion probs and got totally scared about it all. I started feeling better just before my appt for my gastroscopy but went ahead and had it anyway.
Something that did seem to ease things abit for me was loads of yoghurt with the friendly bacteria in it and drinking gallons of water.
I do hope you start to feel better very soon hun and I would go and get those lower dose tabs that the doctor told you to take as soon as you can.
Big hugs
Piglet xx
"Supposing a tree fell down, Pooh, when we were underneath it?" said Piglet.
"Supposing it didn't," said Pooh after careful thought.
Hi Fee,
Glad you're doing better since the evening last night and managed to sleep - and a huge well done for getting to work, you really are amazing.
I hope it all eases soon for you, and I think the low dose tablets should help alot.
I agree with Piglet that yoghurt can be really good, natural yoghurt contains probiotics which are brilliant for the digestive system and also strengthen the immune system. Not good if you can't tolerate dairy products of course.
The other thing that is meant to be fantastic for tummy problems is aloe vera juice, I think you just have a little bit every day - may be worth looking into if you have a local health food shop.
Thinking of you and hope your day has been ok.
Love and hugs,
Lisa x
Glad you are feeling a bit better Fee.
Karen xx
Paddington
10-01-07, 00:42
Dear Fee,how are you today,I am so sorry you are so poorly[chop your 30mg in half hun,thats what i did,stopped the side effects but helped the pain!]I too hadgall stones many years ago and had an op to remove the lot!The pain is very like contractions,is your like that?It goes inyour back and into the right shoulderblade usually!I do hope they get this sorted out in feb Fee,i think they should do it sooner.You are a stoic and so kind to me [and everyone!!]when i am down[as i am at the moment ,it;'s in the air mate!]you said the same as me in your originalpost ,you would not be missed for days..NOT TRUE!.....you would be missed very much,but i know when that feeling gets a hold itis hard to shift.P.M.me any time if you fancy a natter hun.God bless.Mary rose.xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx
we are all in the same boat and can guide each other ashore
I am going to vent now, i am ready to punch a hole in my pc.
car delerships and salesman PISS ME OFF!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
all talk and no action
wasting time
promise me my new car TODAY and now nothing, have to wait until Monday for them to get their sh*t together.
no car for the weekend :weep:
(have had the entire week to organise this and was promised the car today)
so sick of complaining about crap service!
it sucks being a woman because men (salesman) dont take you seriously and think they can pull the wool over our eyes.
Running out of patience, energy and zest.
this stupid car business has been more of a mission than anything else.
PATHETIC!!!!!!!!!!!
SHAKING WITH ANGER AND FRUSTRATION!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! !!1
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