My struggle with health anxiety. Are SSRI's helpful?

[Ronan23]

Hi,

This will be a long post and apologies in advance for the length of it. So I've kinda suffered from 2 or 3 different forms of anxiety since I was around 12 and they have worsened significantly over the last few years. Health anxiety, social anxiety (in groups) and a bit of panic disorder (probably related to the health anxiety).

Anyway, health anxiety is by far my worst problem. At the age of 24 I have convinced myself I've had or will have:
Bowel cancer
vCJD (human form of mad cow disease)
Sudden death
Multiple Sclerosis
ALS
Rabies
Brain Haemorrage

My health anxiety has become such a big part of me, that I kinda accepted it as normal if that makes any sense. I used to just distract myself with video games, alcohol and pornography to take my mind off it. But as I've hit my early 20's I've became very introspective and aware that my issues are not normal.

With worsening anxiety, I need to take action fast. As you can see from the various illnessess ive diagnosed myself with over the years, I am pretty deep in the shit with this health anxiety. I'm actually quite staggered by the fact I've managed to graduate from college, had a long term relationship for 3 years, travelled solo abroad and got a job all while suffering from 3 different forms of progressively worsening anxiety. What is odd is that if anyone was to come up and talk to me they would have no idea that I suffer from these mental illnesses. They'd maybe see i was shy but I'd generally come across as a smiley guy with a good sense of humour with seemingly no issues.

I get anxious when working out (thinking I'll die suddenly of a rare heart condition like some athletes do), I get anxious when talking to more outgoing people than me, especially ones i'm not close to. I even I get anxious when focusing on my breathing sometimes (I convince myself I might just stop breathing).

I have googled an absolutely ridiculous amount if things related to health.

There are only 2 things which stop my anxiety completely:
-Alcohol
-Xanax

I'm aware enough to know that relying on either of these substances is a bad thing. I tend to drink every weekend, but while alcohol helps on the night i'm taking it, anxiety is inevitably worse the next day. I've only ever taken xanax when in full blown panic (about 5 times).

It's difficult to understand where my anxiety comes from. I've read many many books on overcoming it, I understand exactly what anxiety is but I am yet to beat it. It's hard to explain but I've got used to just accepting the anxiety is there and that I will engage in certain unhealthy behaviours to "help" with it. I am living my life in spite of it. But this is no way to live. I want to experience mental freedom, I feel trapped in a relentless cycle of deceptive brain messages telling me im gonna die, im gonna go red in front of people etc etc. It is not normal to not be able to exercise without thinking I will die. Its not normal to not be able to approach girls and go on dates with them because of anxiety about not knowing if they will like me. I am living a half-arsed life. Missing out on many experiences.

The approach I've taken since I started to look into my anxiety more is that I can beat it on my own without medication. I cleaned up my diet, began exercising but yet to quit drinking at weekends. But i'm not sure it's enough. I was prescribed an SSRI 3 months ago but my mind is in a constant tug of war over whether I should take it. I do not want to lose my ability to orgasm as I've heard somewhere. I do not want brain zaps. But I do want to be cured. Can SSRI's help me? Are they worth it? Is there ever a way out of anxiety?

If anyone has any advice at all with regards to my anxiety that would be really appreciated. Thanks for reading.

[chickpea]

Firstly, you've done a great job of putting down your feelings and fears in that post. You clearly understand that how you feel and are living (or not) is not normal, and your desire to change jumps out of your words.
Half the battle is already won - nowhere have you tried to justify your anxiety trying to validate your "symptoms" as being real, and it's clear you're not prepared to live like this, even if you have learnt to accept your anxiety.

The next step is to find a way to stop the anxious thoughts before they start.
SRRI' s act as a sticking plaster, to stem the effects of anxiety to allow you to work on the cause. If you use SRRI' s alone, you're only dealing with the symptoms, NOT the illness. Of course, that probably feels really desirable right now, but it's a short-term solution and doesn't cure you.

CBT addresses the cause by changing your thought process, so that your reaction to your thoughts is better moderated. Eg instead of thinking "I have a headache - it must be a tumour!", You might think "I have a headache - I'll take a nurofen and carry on with what I'm doing.People get headaches every day."

This is why avoidance, through alcohol etc doesn't work - you need to get to a place where you can face your symptoms and rationalise your reaction to them...and then, in turn, you'll stop noticing symptoms. Running from them is simply feeding your anxiety - it's telling your brain that they really are something to fear and a threat.

[Fishmanpa]

Hi Ronan,

I'm going to give you my take on this....

Ok... SSRIs....

My experience with them was during a season of depression after my first heart attack and bypass surgery. I was prescribed Zoloft (100mg 1x daily) and I went to therapy for about 4 months. While I didn't feel anything beneficial from the med, those around me noticed a positive difference. So the meds in conjunction with therapy definitely was beneficial and got me through a rough time. The only negative I can say about the meds is that it gave me stomach/bowel issues. Not terrible but definitely inconvenient. Coming off of them is when I noticed I was "drugged" I had some dizziness and such. I didn't have any impotence issues at all while taking it. On the contray, it helped in the bedroom as I wasn't anxious and if a side effect was delayed climax, I got that and it was a positive if you know what I mean. I was 48 at the time so ummm... yeah... ~lol~ Currently, I have Buspar (non SSRI/benzo)which I can take when needed for "scanxiety" with no ill effects and it works for me.

Now, drinking... you said yourself that it's cool while you're having a few but you pay for it the next day. That's a given. It's a proven fact that drinking and anxiety don't mix. No ifs, ands or buts. It you take meds, even more so! Use some common sense here. It's akin to sticking you hand into a flame when you know you'll get burned.

You're doing a lot of positive things. Eating right, exercising etc. These lend themselves to making your life more positive. Concerning the anxiety? Who knows where that comes from. I believe it's a combination of many things... environment, upbringing, heredity, traumatic experiences etc. It's worth discussing this with your GP and giving meds and therapy/CBT a shot. It's certainly better than where you're at now and can only prove to be beneficial.

What do you have to lose? Do nothing and stay where you're at or try something and best case put this dragon in his cave and learn to control him.

Positive thoughts

[Serenity1990]

SSRIs are often effective for depression, but the evidence for anxiety is really thin. But then depression and anxiety often come hand in hand.

Tbh I wouldn't ever touch them personally.

[MrAndy]

Ronan your clever and articulate I think you would benefit far more from counselling than taking ADs .Ive been on lots of different drugs and they didn't come close to the group cbt I had.Im now drug free and although it's been hard feel better for it

[KeeKee]

I was put on Prozac for depression 6 years ago and it definitely helped with my depression. I then developed quote severe anxiety in March 2013 and my meds were switched. They had.no effect on my anxiety whatsoever.

However everybody is different and you will never know until you try them. Good luck

[Fishmanpa]

SSRIs are a fickle thing. My daughter suffers from anxiety and was on Zoloft for a couple of years. She was doing well and had a setback. Zoloft did nothing. She tried a couple of other SSRIs and settled on Lexapro and she's doing great! She's back to school and between the med and therapy, she'll be just fine.

Positive thoughts

[swgrl09]

Honestly every person and every medication is different. I got lucky and the first one I tried was the one for me. I took lexapro and my anxiety was helped immensely. I honestly went on it for depression, but while I was on it, I felt great and my HA really diminished.

As for Side Effects, I had a few but nothing really bad. Most were in the first two weeks. I still had my libido, didn't have brain zaps at all when I got off, etc. The only lasting effects throughout the course of the meds were that I would sweat easier (nothing bad/interfering with life, but just more than I used to) and got constipated more often. But it was easily managed for me.

You never know. If you feel poorly on them, you can just get off them (with your doctor's help)

[anthrokid]

SSRIs can be helpful for anxiety, particularly if you suffer from a combination of anxiety and depression and/or OCD. Some will say SSRIs don't work for anxiety, and others will. The research also varies. However, from a clinical perspective, I have seen several anxiety sufferers benefit from SSRIs. That's not to say they work for everyone, but I have certainly seen people recover to a functional point with SSRI treatment. As others have said, SSRIs are best used in conjunction with other therapeutic interventions, particularly CBT in the case of anxiety/depression. If you really want to beat anxiety without medication, it'd be a really good idea to try and get a referral for some kind of therapy such as CBT.

[Ronan23]

Thanks for the replies so far everyone, taking the time out to reply to me is greatly appreciated. I've taken 25mg Zoloft for the last two days and I have to say the side effects have been pretty awful. Waking up in the middle of the night panicking, chest pains, dizziness - not fun.

I'm not sure if they're worth it. Obviously getting better is of great importance to me, but I'd rather not go through hell based on a chance of SSRI's working. It's an extremely difficult decision though. My problem with the whole self-help approach that I have been using is that I end up reading too many different books on self-improvement and it's like my brain has been fed too much good information that I just forget everything I've read and revert back to my automatic thinking and habits.

Also, there have been many times when I have identified that i'm in an unhealthy thinking pattern (such as when exercising and thinking i'll die), but knowing what i'm thinking isn't enough. I still think about it anyway. Same with breathing. I tried meditation but found focusing on my breath made me anxious that I was controlling my breathing. Like I have to force myself to breathe. I thought meditation was regarded as a universally positive activity, you know you're f*cked when you can't even breathe without anxious thoughts.

[Rosiebee87]

In my personal experience sertraline 50mg has worked wonders for me and I'm on week 5 now.

I was in a very low and anxious state a few weeks back. Initially the side effects wasn't great but fast forward 3 weeks and I felt like my normal self again. No more panic attacks, low mood has gone most days.

I have also been reading up on cbt and start my therapy on wednesday. So I don't plan to stay on medication forever.

But for people who say they wouldn't touch them, sometimes if you feel really low, anxious and are not enjoying life the way you should be - you have nothing to lose in trying?

Best of luck x

[Ronan23]

As someone who's anxiety is already at a ridiculously high level, I don't feel able to deal with feeling even worse. I'll end up in a mental hospital as an inpatient after a nervous breakdown. Got palpitations and all last night, not good.

[skippy66]

No. Read my book and you will learn how I beat health anxiety without SSRIs.

You do not need them in my opinion.