So Scared of heart failure due to edema.

[KeeKee]

Hi guys, first off I am so sorry that lately I am disappearing and only coming back when I have a problem of my own. I am trying my utmost hardest to avoid the Internet in regards to my health anxiety. However at this moment in time I am completely freaking out. As some of you may know I have recently gained 12lbs since starting Paroxetine (no longer taking it) and I am now at my Heaviest ever(including a full term pregnancy), so I'm not used to my chubby body.
I am convinced I currently have edema in my ankles, feet and lower calves. It I mild and could very well be fat (my partner is adamant they aren't swollen and believes it is due to me being no longer skinny or even slim). It isn't 'pitting' but I did have a sock indentation for over an hour earlier on. I am so Obsessedo with my ankles lately it is literary reducing me to tears.
Does anybody know the chances of me having something as serious as heart failure? I am unfit, but I wouldn't Say I get unusually breathless and I wouldn't say I'm excessively tired either. However my ankles are definitely chubby at the very least, more so depending on which way I move my foot. AAargh I'm about to lose my mind! I'm sure non pitting edema is usually not associated with heart failure but I am still freaking out so bad.

[Fishmanpa]

Hi KeeKee,

I've noticed you've been absent for a while. that's actually a good thing :)

So... what I get from you post is that you've become "zaftig" for lack of a better word ;) It's a Yiddish word meaning "full figured". Not at all a bad thing. Your partner doesn't seem to mind so what's the big deal if you have "cankles"? It doesn't mean you have heart disease or anything of the sort. You have no other symptoms that would indicate otherwise.

Congrats on the baby and please don't worry about your figure. If you want to do something about it, start going for walks and such. Really... take it from one who likes "zaftig"... don't worry ;)

Positive thoughts

[KeeKee]

Thank you Fishmanpa, I can always count on you to reply :-)
My daughter is actually 7 now haha, but I weigh 1.5 stone(at least) more than the minute she was born, that in itself is depressing!

My partner is very 'accepting' of my weight luckily, however that is a whole other issue for me, sigh ha.

Do you think even if it was (non pitting) edema, I still have nothing to worry about?

Thanks again, you always respond to my posts no matter how pathetic or self absorbed they are, I really appreciate that.

[Fishmanpa]

KeeKee.... I really don't think you have anything to worry about. There are no other symptoms to indicate anything sinister. Our self perception is skewed by nature. We never see ourselves as others see us. As an example. my neck and the skin under my chin looks funky to me due to the cancer treatment (turkey neck). I look "older" for lack of a better word. No one else has ever commented or said anything to affirm that. On the contrary, everyone says how healthy I look!

Really... let it go and enjoy yourself ;) Your partner obviously doesn't mind!

Positive thoughts

[KeeKee]

Fishmanpa you have been through a lot yet you still have a positive outlook and lend a hand to others. That is very admirable.

Thank you again. I'm going to try to stop looking at my ankles as this afternoon I was in an ok mood, then I started obsessing once I saw my sock indentation. I have also been med free for 20 weeks now and my good emotions are starting to come back, I do not want that to be tarred by me worrying.

Thank you, I'm going to try to sleep and I'm sure in the morning I'll have forgotten about it (albeit temporarily).

[70sgirl]

There are usually other symptoms associated with heart failure besides just swollen ankles...usually a lot of breathlessness etc. My dad has heart failure and he could barely get up the stairs without being totally out of breath! Swollen ankles are v common - try not to worry x

[KeeKee]

Thanks 70sgirl. Now I'm convinced they're pitting ha although I'm pressing my finger quite strongly. My partner says they're not but I doubt he'd say if they were as he knows what I'm like!

[Primula]

Hi, I often have deep sock indentations, that take ages to go, and my ankles are not even fat. I doubt very much whether you have heart failure. You would have loads of other symptoms. Swollen ankles are very common and I bet heart failure is the least common reason.

I know it's hard and I struggle with this all the time, but remember how Health Anxiety can play horrible tricks on our minds. Just try to think we are alive now, it's a beautiful day. Find something to do, go out for the day, maybe do some gardening or even housework, but get involved in what you are doing. I find this so helpful, and the more I do it the easier it gets. :)

[KeeKee]

Thank you so much for replying. Realistically I know it would be highly unlikely plus I've been walking up my stairs faster than usual to see if I get breathless haha I don't, well not other than slight due to me being stuck in the house all day with me not working which has brought us.financial difficulty.

I've just bathed my daughter, I'm currently awaiting for the water to heat up again then I'll go in :-)
The doctor said he wanted to see me again in a few weeks due to my low mood so I will,just wait until then and if I am still worried I'll mention it then ;-)