I don't relate to my own generation

[lafemme]

I'm 22 years old and I don't seem to relate to my own generation (18 to 25 year olds).

I'm currently at University and moved in with some girls age 19ish. I feel like I don't relate to them in the slightest, and while they are nice, socialising with them is a great deal of effort, as I have to "dumb" myself down during conversation. I don't mean to be cruel but that is the truth.

My interests include: art, cooking, psychology, travelling and exploring other cultures, cinema and music. I don't mean to sound like a complete snob, but it would be nice to find somebody who reciprocates and shares these interests. Somebody I can have an interesting conversation with.

Last night my flat mates evening consisted of: cooking beans on toast, watching xfactor and keith lemon, talking about kim kardashian, bad mouthing people they know behind their backs, being very loud and taking pouty photos on snapchat and tinder.

(I live in the UK unless you hadn't guessed).

Similarly, I also struggle to find people to relate to on my University course. I guess I am just feeling a little disconnected from my generation. I know there are other people around my age that share my interests, however they are few and far inbetween. Does anybody else experience this?

[Baggs]

Oh yes. I am in a totally different situation but I regularly attend a self-help group and so many people there bore me so much - aaarrrggghhhh. Stop boring me!!!! I don't have any answers but I wish you all the best.

[Rennie1989]

I am very much in your situation (I'm 24).

Four to six years ago my interests were clubbing, drinking, smoking, relationships and shopping, because that was what my friends liked too. Since moving to London three years ago and moving back this year my interests have changed, probably because my eyes were open to a bigger and more diverse world. Now my interests are creative writing, blog writing, mental health, the arts, the law, politics and more. My friends are still the same from those years ago and we now have nothing in common, even down to music (they still like the teen rock we listened to in the 00's whereas I've moved on to indie - probably my husband's influence).

There are plenty of people in our age bracket who appreciate culture and something with a little more intelligence than X Factor and Meet the Kardasians (no offence), you are not alone, but it can feel like that when you're surrounded by people who you simply don't click with.

PS I was in your exact position when I was at uni, give my QI and University Challenge any day... no, they wanted to watch Hollyoaks and X Factor -_-;;

[MyNameIsTerry]

Its just life, some people you find share your interests, some don't. You will find exactly the same situation in the workplace but at least you only have it for so many hours a day and can go home afterwards. It can make work outings a bit of a drag though which is why we have alcohol!

I'm sure somewhere there is a woman who wants to watch Keith Lemon but is forced to watch Only Connect by her roomies!

Its not a generation thing though. There are highly successful people at your age, campaigners, young politicians, etc. They would all feel the same in your situation.

Its more a matter of maturity. I would say that you are more mature than these other women. The same can be said if you put a mother in a team in the workplace with a load of ditzy young women. Sometimes they can gel and sometimes they can grate on someone who has real issues to consider.

But don't for a second think that age means maturity. The world is full of immature people over 50.

Are there any clubs or societies that you can join?

[Brunette]

Yes, I feel the same about my work colleagues.

They are nice people and OK to work with but out of hours - forget it. I don't want to spend a whole evening talking about "TOWIE" and "Strictly"...

[James244]

I can relate to you also. I found relating to other people very hard indeed, but that's mostly because I have Asperger's syndrome.
I did go to college and university and got on reasonably well with but now I have panic disorder I don't think I could, weirdly since this started, I now often find myself enjoying things that old people enjoy, its weird, perhaps I'll write a thread about it another time.
I think that development of age is a much more striking thing in adolescence and despite 22 not being very much older than 19, to some individuals it can be the world of difference. Your a mature sort of person I guess, if you can't relate to your flatmates, there are plenty of other people around. Just accept that you may not make any lasting friendships with these particular people, but that isn't a huge deal in the big picture

[mikewales]

Have a look what societies and clubs are going on in the Uni. There are often things like debating, political groups, environmental things, foreign films etc... You will probably find some more like minded people who have broader interests than just going out partying and saying OMG a lot etc... :)

[lior]

When I lived in student halls for the first time, I was put in with a load of football hooligans who regularly turned the furniture upside down when they got home at 4am from drinking for jokes. They liked to sing football songs very loudly in the middle of the night, and they once tried to break into my room while they were naked.

At least you're with immature women, not immature men!

I used to bake cakes and cook persian, morrocan, thai, etc food - the most complicated thing they made was sausages and bacon. They must have felt alienated by me, and they probably thought it was a class thing, although I think it's more of a London thing - knowing about more food means you're more likely to make it yourself. Also I'm Jewish so I reckon they found that weird. I offered them cake I baked regularly but it didn't seem to stop them from resenting me.

Eventually they took all my food and hid/ate/destroyed it, and put raw bacon in its place, and smashed my plates. I took this as a racial attack. They then sprayed the 'c' word on my bedroom door. They never got reprimanded for it by the university. They did regular small horrible things too, too many to mention!

My point is - I know what it feels like to not have anything in common with people - this was an extreme. Please be grateful that you aren't having my experiences - it could be much much worse for you. I doubt that many groups of women have the capacity to be as cruel as these boys were.

I did find people who did have similar interests to me. I even had fabulous romances, and I've kept in touch with several people from that time. I learnt a great deal about people. I found I could make friends with people I had nothing in common with, by coming at them with a gentle positive attitude of learning about them. So now I include a Japanese guy and a fundamentalist christian as my friends. It's possible to enjoy their company without agreeing with everything they believe in.

Societies helped. I was part of Jewish society and music society and drama society. Music was the best :) we had a band.

Keep us updated, let us know when you find 'your people'.