Finally!

[Elad]

I called the crisis team last night who said they would return my call, as usual I didn't hold out much hope and ended up falling asleep out of exhaustion after I took my sleeping medication. However I woke up to 3 missed calls.

So this morning I called back and they told me a nurse would call me back to possibly arrange a visit to assess me, I'm hoping that finally they can get me back on the right track again in time for University.

Bad news that I'm feeling very ill, but good news that they've decided to help! Unless of course the nurse never calls... hoping for the best either way.

[venusbluejeans]

thats good news Elad, make sure they help you and you take all the help you can.

Good luck at university too :)

[Elad]

The nurse phoned back.

Overall her advice was to relax. Read a book. Listen to some music.

Brilliant advice, considering I read books and listen to light jazz everyday...

She told me every student gets stressed about going to University, I asked if self injury was a normal response. She said "to some students yes."

[venusbluejeans]

Grrrr typical response then....yes but most don't have to call the crisis team.

Try ringing them again if you get to the point you need to, and keep doing it until they listen.....

what are you going to study at uni?

[Elad]

I'm studying Childhood Studies, I then want to go on to study for a PGCE because I want to be a primary school teacher.

[TRIGGERING PERHAPS] Anyway I went to the hospital just last night for suicidal ideation and self harm. I only got back 2 hours ago. I saw the crisis team there who offered home crisis resolution but because I have an appointment with my new care co-ordinator tomorrow they decided it wasn't necessary for now.

I'm hoping this new care co-ordinator can refer me for dialectical behaviour therapy but, as per usual, I'm not holding out much hope.

Realistically I need to be put back on my anti-psychotics at the same time.

My University course begins in just two weeks and I'm really unfit to begin studying, it's an absolute train wreck and I have no idea why they've done this, it's almost as if they want me to fail :(

I need a hug :weep:

[MrAndy]

hang in there Elad,with the right support you can recover enough to get going again.if you dont get the correct support scream and kick and complain until you do,you deserve this.
take care

[venusbluejeans]

Wow good luck with that.... I am an afterschool nanny so I am in childcare too.

hopefully the care co-ordinator will help you, see what they say to you and then go from there..... and see what they say about the dialectical behaviour therapy too, fingers crossed.

I don't think anyone wants you to fail at all Elad, I think it is just how the medical system works unfortunately...... sometimes they don't really look at peoples back ground at what is going on that way.

you CAN do this and you WILL..... head towards your dream and you will get there.

I can send you a virtual hug....

http://shechive.files.wordpress.com/2014/06/hugs-yay-11-6.gif?w=354&h=369


Emmz

[lior]

Ahh Elad. I feel for you. I realised I was depressed at university and they weren't great most of the time - made me feel even more crazy than I was.

You will get through this. Worst comes to worst, you can postpone your studies. It might be a good idea to tell the HR type person in your new uni department what you're going through so they cut you some slack with attendance etc. if you need it. When I told a trusted tutor it made everything better - I even got set more manageable assignments for my needs.

Keep us updated.

PS that thing about self harm being normal... that nurse might just be inexperienced. I find myself trying to catch out medical people I'm talking to, testing them a bit - and I'm overly sensitive to anything they say which seems a tiny bit wrong. I'm sharp sometimes with banter in a good situation - in a bad situation it means I end up leading people to say things they don't really mean or consider fully perhaps. So don't take it personally about that nurse, he/she just couldn't keep up with you :)

[Elad]

I have a lot of leeway with University because I've already disclosed that I have Schizophrenia with the disability department and a lot of support has been put in place for me, but I really didn't want to have to rely on it or miss lectures and the like.

I really want to put my all into this course, if I really need to take a sick day then I'll take it but I intend to avoid it as much as I possibly can.

I feel like I've kicked and screamed as much as I possibly can, I've had police involved so many times and I've been in psychiatric hospital 6 times, I'm known so much to my general hospital and crisis team that they all know me by my name just by seeing me but they still drag their feet, am I a lost cause to them? I don't know.

I've considered postponing my studies but if I do that will student finance still finance my course next year? Is there a limit on how many times they will finance your course because I might already be at that limit if that's the case, this is the third time trying and I've fallen ill every single time. This is the time I finally feel well enough to be able to do it so I really don't want to mess things up.

--- --- --- --- ---

Either way I'll keep this thread updated after I see my new care co-ordinator tomorrow and I'll then update it after my first week of University.

Thanks for caring and for the support guys, I really appreciate it.

[Elad]

It turned out to be a standard initial assessment. She asked the typical questions such as how I would rate my mood, how I spend my day, do I eat enough, do I drink enough fluids, how are my relations with my family, how was my childhood, how is my memory, how is my concentration, how is my motivation, etc.

She classed me as high risk and now I just have to wait to be assigned a care co-ordinator but I'm not sure what they plan to do other than apparently helping me find alternatives to self-harm, she said psychology is unlikely since I already had psychology with the early intervention team for just over a year...

Ah well...

I'm not even sure if this is worth it since I start University in less than two weeks and I'll be seeing a mental health mentor during University two times a week.