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lilol
22-09-14, 20:37
i just wanted to post my story in here, as catharsis i guess. my panic attacks began last summer and along with back pain, have been on and off ever since. the worst period until now was january and february of this year, when i had constant adrenaline coursing through me, even if i just went to the bank i was a mess for the rest of the day. i drank heavily during this period and my eye twitched for 8 weeks :(

i worked in a stressful industry until august. things hadn't got much better through the year, i was absolutely treading water the whole time. i've had a lot of neurological symptoms along with the back pain and have had mris, seen osteopaths and physiotherapists, had massages and acupuncture. all but the physio helped a bit, at the time.

in mid august, after two weeks of my right hand side seizing up at work (very scary), i had to quit my freelance job. two weeks at home didn't do me a huge amount of good - i was in a lot of pain and increasing panic - until one weekend when i ended up in a&e 4 times. the 4th time - a different hospital - i was convinced i was dying and they brought down the psych team, who scraped me off the ceiling. i felt like i was watching myself from above when it was happening. i couldn't sit down because of a sensation of electricity through me when i did.

i stayed at my aunt's for a couple of weeks until my dad drove me the 400 miles to my hometown a week ago. i'm on 30mg of citalopram (upping from 20mg which i started a couple of weeks ago) and i'm due to start cbt on wednesday. my back is really tense and i'm waking up numb a lot, which is triggering panic itself. i'm almost scared that writing all this will trigger something bad! i've been prescribed diazepam too, it freaks me out about taking them but they do help.

i'm off to bury myself in the success story forum for a while, but if anyone has any encouraging words they would be much appreciated!

Baggs
22-09-14, 20:46
welcome to NMP, I hope you find as much help as I have. I wish you all the best.

lilol
22-09-14, 20:55
thank you

teg5078
23-09-14, 00:47
I've been suffering from anxiety and panic attacks since 2011. The thing that has helped me the most was to buy books about it and try to learn about it. I recently bought The Power Of Now, by, Eckhartt Tolle. He reminds us all that "You are not your mind." That has really helped me, though I still get overwhelming episodes of panic and feeling disconnected as well, I am working really hard to overcome this too. I start CBT on Thursday and just bought The Cognitive Behavioral Workbook for Anxiety: A Step-by-Step Program by, William J. Knaus to work on on my own. You are not alone with the suffering, and it will get better just not over night, it took me a while to accept that. Hope things start to look up for you.

Best,
T

lilol
23-09-14, 13:46
you know, the power of now is a book that has been popping up in my awareness for a long time, maybe a sign! good luck with the cbt!