hiv anxiety

[stu78]

hi everyone,I'm new to this forum,and since I have developed this "anxiety",your site is always the one that pops up.Well here goes,ever since the birth of my child my health anxiety has started,little things at first,I started to notice,then the inevitable started looking on google!stupid I know,I managed to get a handle on it but it then culminated when I had a one night stand(stupid I know).I went to a local gum clinic as I did not use protection,I had a test at 4 weeks for hiv and std check (which came back clear).I was told to come back two months after for another hiv test for confirmation,my anxiety went into overdrive then,awfull time really but did the follow up test and rang up for my result and the lady over the phone said negative! Great news I thought,so I resumed having a sexual relationship with the same partner since then!But I still have this nagging doubt that I am hiv positive,is the test wrong(uk)?did the woman in the phone give me the first test results and not the latest ones?..they where some of the questions that where going around in my head!! Now my partner has got a chest infection and yes you guessed it I googled it and its linked to an undiagnosed hiv infection!This anxiety is starting to consume my life again,feeling I have infected my partner and every time she is ill i think its hiv!I have never known anything like this,even though I know my test results came back as negative,is it normal to feel like this if you have a health anxiety?and if so is there something I can do about it?Putting my feelings on here has made me feel a bit better!I am even considering going back to my gum clinic to check my results again over a year later!!thanks for looking at my insane ramblings!

[AlexandriaUK]

Hi and welcome to the forum, they can see both results so no chance she has given you the wrong result i promise whats wrong with you is not hiv its exactly what you know it to be, health anxiety and there is no magic cure only you taking your life back, either that or you convince yourself you have it and let this disease kill your life, not your body.
Look at worst case scenario you are positive for hiv and you go Dr's and they treat you for it, you would still live a good long life, in the eestern world its not the killer it was.
But and I mean but you havent got it.
so enjoy your life and try to stop dwelling on something you don't have, only worry about things you cant control, like gas bills

[stu78]

hi thanks for reply,I know its stupid,and I look at test results and I did them in correct time frame and they came back negative,just I have this anxiety and its slowly killing me!hopefully once I get over this hopefully I wont move onto something else...

[AlexandriaUK]

I am sure you will it's the nature of the beast, but you really are the beasts ring master so it's your choice, in 20 30 whatever years you will look back with great regret wishing you had made the most of your younger years, its in your hands, make of it what you will x

[stu78]

thanks for the reply's Alexandria,its nice to have someone who talks some sense,I suppose its just nice to be able actually tell someone how I feel

[AlexandriaUK]

How you feel is only half the problem it's how you deal with it, you sound as though you haveput yourself through torture but nows the time you put it behind you and love yourself and life, sometime I may come across a bit harsh but hopefully it's taken in the right context, with luv x

[stu78]

no you didn't sound harsh at all,anything but,yeah I just had that "problem shared..
."in my head then,I have only really had this anxiety since my child was born and it has peaked with this thing that I did,one thing I do know and you probs agree with google is ****ing awfull,the amount of mixed messages especially about hiv is unbelievable,avert and freedom health where good,but the rest just tipped me over the edge,I think my problem I i try to be strong for my girl and child,but sometimes i need a bit of reassurance myself!

[Katie_cupcakes]

You can get a false positive with hiv but you can't get a false negative after the 3 month time frame has passed, so if your result was negative at 3 months then you don't have it! Which is great.
I had really bad hiv anxiety over the last few months due to having literally every single symptomost of it! Night sweats, joint pain, nausea, weight loss, sore throat, mouth sores, thrush...and , many more. Google didn't have another option as to what it might be, so I KNEW I must have hiv! I took some time to come to terms with it in my mind before going to the gum clinic. When I eventually found the courage to get tested it was negative...I couldn't believe it.
I wouldn't worry about that chest infection, that's probably exactly what it is - just a chest infection.
The only risk you would have of having hiv would be if you caught it since you were last tested. It's hard to catch, not very common, and seems very unlikely.
So chin up! You're fine :)

[stu78]

cheers Katie,I was quite promiscuous when I younger,and it was something I never thought of,but my fear of now infecting my partner has made my life unbelievable!your right i had or I thought I had all the symptoms of hiv,which probably where brought on by stress,I did forget about I for a while (hiv) but my mind is always not far off for looking for something else wrong with me like cancer or something equally as awfull,my hiv anxiety has resurfaced due to my girl being unwell,its crazy isn't it?are you over your hiv anxiety?I hope so as I wouldn't wish any health anxiety on my worst enemy

---------- Post added at 23:33 ---------- Previous post was at 23:29 ----------

just to add had sti and hiv test at one month came back negative,had hiv test two months after last test (3 months after risk) and that after a phone call to gum clinic came back negative,then I got that stupid thing what if it was wrong,what if she read my first test result out and not my latest test result!the rational side of me takes over and accepts it,then my "anxiety" takes over and fears the worst!madness!

[AlexandriaUK]

Glad I could be a little help full, you take care and im glad youv got a lovely family to help support you.
Take care.

[stu78]

cheers Alex,i haven't told them,it would cause problems,In have confided I a friend and he told me what you all told me....but as you know sometimes you need telling again and again till it sinks in!its great to know there is people out there willing to listen and not judge you for mistakes and feel the same way as you,

[AlexandriaUK]

We are only human and make mistakes, gives you that second chance to put things right, I would put this one out of your mind and get on with your life, what better way to celebrate your reprieve :D7

[Katie_cupcakes]

That's classic health anxiety, thinking that the Dr got it wrong, or something wasn't right. If you had hiv you would have got a call from the clinic, I'm sure. If they said you don't have it, then you don't, so don't stress.
I'm over my hiv anxiety after being told my test was negative. My health anxiety is pretty bad, I generally trust test results, but my problem is doctors diagnosing me with no test to confirm their diagnosis.
For example, I went the other week after a pain iv had lower right rib for about 5 months. The Dr said it was chronic muscular pain and gave me ibuprofen. My thoughts on that was, how can he be so sure? He hasn't tested to rule out anything else. I think it's a tumour in my rib, but I know and he knows that I have health anxiety, so would my concerns be taken seriously? I don't think so, which makes the anxiety worse...It's a vicious cycle

[stu78]

you would think knowing you have an anxiety the doctors would be a bit more understanding?What is there attitude towards people with an anxiety?I have not been to a doctors about it yet?I was even worrying kissing my daughter or if she put het hands near my mouth I would worry I have infected her incase I have blood in my mouth!Looking at it it seems ridiculous to think that,but once your anxiety had a grip of you as you know anything is possible in your mind!