Why do we do it !!

[Sue K with 5]

Why do we aim to please people all the time, is it our condition or are we just too damn caring.

I have spent the last month making sure everyone else had a nice christmas, and i do it unconditionally. I like to see the pleasure on other peoples faces and I expect nothing in return.

But the end result is my anxiety goes sky high, i end up feeling very stressed and tired all the time and when everyone else is having a great time, i am sitting back wishing my anxiety would lighten up to give me a chance to enjoy it as well.

What gets me is no one notices and even if they do they just ignore you completely, irrespective. I try to pretend im fine, but when you go to your room and leave everyone else down stairs they think its cos you want attention when all you want to do is hide.

Who actually notices us when we need help or support. SO I HAVE COME TO A DECISION. 2007 is going to be my year, The year I beat my anxiety,cos feeling as I have done in the last 4 weeks has left me heratbroken and void of any energy and I cant keep doing this all the time.

We have to put our needs first in order to feel as good as other people, I feel like I am going to be selfish but is it selfish to want to be 95% better ??

I have been so sad this xmas and so lonely shut out from the rest of the world, i never normally drink but this year I have had to drink to get over the worst feelings

I hate to sound so depressing but I have not stopped crying on a daily basis for three weeks now and it has to stop doesnt it ??




scknight

[manmoor]

Chin up Sue with 5 ((((((((HUGS))))))))) Make 2007 your year.

Take Care

Mandyxx

[sandlin]

oh sue babe, you're right you do have to be selfish to get somewhere. I also spend half my time making sure everyone else is okay.


Linda xxxx

[ruthb1]

((((((((((((((((((hugs for you sue)))))))))))))

promise yourself you will do it in 2007 maybe we all need to do something like this

take care hun


thinking of you


ruth x x x x

[kate]

Sue,

I used to be exactly like that myself, always trying to make everyone happy and feeling responsible if they weren't.

BUT, not anymore! I have come to realise that I can't be responsible for peoples happiness, I can't make their lives smooth and stress free. They are their own person and must make their own choices and run their own lives.

I tell you something, it has taken a while for me to truly put myself first, but I now do so (within reason of course!).

It isn't being selfish, it's looking after your own needs. If you constantly look out for everyone else and put aside being you then you are never going to be happy.

It will be hard for you, as it was for me, but take the first step and try saying NO occasionally and then build up from there. You will feel sooo much better about yourself, I guarantee it!

Good Luck!

Kate x


"Everybody's changing and I don't feel the same"

[kilvosa]

Hi Sue
BIG HUGS to you Sue.Have a better year for 2007. Take care
Anne xx

[groovygranny]

Hello Sue!

I've had to learn how to receive without feeling selfish. I, like you, take pleasure in giving but I now realise that not receiving what is given can be just as selfish as not giving in the first place. Oh dear, am I making any sense here? What I'm trying to say is it is not wrong or selfish to think of yourself as well as others.

You go make 2007 your year like you said!! :)

Lotsa luv

GG [:P]

xx

'There are no such things as strangers; just friends we haven't made yet!'

[kazzie]

(((((BIG HUGS SUE)))))

HAVE A LOVELY 2007

LUV KAZ X X :D

[clickaway]

Sue,

I think we tend to aim to please because we learn from an early age that we can only be loved if we give love out. If we find that that is not working, we try even harder and we grow up like that without thinking. It just becomes our way.

I'm sorry you have had such a crap time lately - I really hope that things soon come good for you and that 2007 is very good for you.

I'm not going to set a target as such, as otherwise I may stress myself out getting there and then be disappointed and distressed if it all goes wrong. But I'd like to push myself whenever I get that boost of energy.

Take Care,



Ray


http://www.anxietyrelease.org.uk/

And when you get the choice to sit it out or dance, I hope you dance.
~Mark Sanders and Tia Sillers

[Sue K with 5]

thank you guys for your lovely replies!!

Ray I would normally agree with you but not setting targets has kept me back and i refuse to let that happen anymore but i do see what your getting at.

I am going to start slowly with no expectations but I am going to learn the word NO which i think will be a good start


ty xxxxx



scknight