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luc
28-09-14, 17:45
For the first time in months my emotional strength is quite low and it's bothered me a lot. From a very naive and self - centred stance I did not want to post this as I didn't want to put doubts in those for whom my recovery has been hopeful. I liked the idea of being the dragon slayer and I quite liked the Trueman Show that I have been living in for the past few months but for the past few days that little F@@@er that I booted down the garden all those months ago is trying to get up.
I'm not going to mention this to my husband but just wanted a little vent. I am fallible and that is something that I must learn because trying to be otherwise is what started my HA in the first place!

Primula
28-09-14, 19:32
Hi Luc

Sorry to hear you are a bit low. From what I've read, this is normal in recovery. Sometimes anxiety can creep up on you, but just use all the tools in your box, and before you know it you'll be on top of things again. Be kind to yourself, don't forget to build a little relaxation in to your day. :bighug1:

wnsos
28-09-14, 19:50
Hugs for you, Luc :hugs:

Maybe the dragon wanted to pop its head out for strictly come dancing but it can get lost again. Pff thinking they can control us. You're still the dragon slayer to me and have been so lovely. I've read about the relapses too and I don't remember if it was here or in a CBT booklet but somewhere (probably the first but my brain is messy today!) said that it's the over coming the relapses that mean a success. And you can so do it.

Someone from the mental health team here taught me a mindfulness technique of lying down and picturing a positive colour and a negative one, then when you breathe in, imagine you're breathing in the positive one and when you exhale, imagine the bad. I like to imagine a long black string of smoke that goes out of the window to make room for more white. :) (initially it was yellow but I realised yellow makes me panicky :D)

Oh and get some chocolate if you can, mm.

luc
28-09-14, 22:08
Thank you Ladies:hugs:

Feeling a lot better. Just watched Kes with my husband and kids. Simple things can make such a difference. I will try the colour idea wnos.

Primula have a great holiday, it sounds very exciting.

Lucia xx

---------- Post added at 22:08 ---------- Previous post was at 22:07 ----------

Ah Wnos just read your post again - kind words xx

Rosiebee87
28-09-14, 22:15
Oh you ladies do make me giggle!!

Luc, boot that dragon back down your garden! Like primula says you have all the tools to turn this around. It's just a blip that's all. Keep busy and distracted.

I've started planning Christmas today :) going to see Santa for breakfast on Xmas eve! Ohh the excitement!! (Hope none of you are Scrooges I don't want to depress anyone lol) xxx

---------- Post added at 22:15 ---------- Previous post was at 22:13 ----------

... And yes you still are definitely the dragon slayer!!

Xx

Carnation
28-09-14, 22:46
Sometimes depression can set in when fighting Anxiety and it can be so exhausting. I normally plan something nice to look forward to when this happens. A night out/day out or something that you have never done before but have always wanted to try. Day-to-day Life can be so daunting at the best of times, let alone for people like us. I have been told that relapses are a normal process of recovery, so don't let it worry you too much. :)

luc
29-09-14, 20:59
Thanks Rosie and Carnation xx

Fishmanpa
29-09-14, 21:34
Hi Luc,

With any illness and recovery, there are times where you take a step back, even when you've walked a mile forward. It's the nature of the beast. The positive is that you recognize it and have a lot of tools in your dragon slayer tool box ;)

Positive thoughts

luc
29-09-14, 22:57
Thanks Fishmanpa. I should be kind to myself and be satisfied with just being a dragon tamer but I still have my sights on being a dragon slayer.