I think anxiety has won

[Gemmal]

Today i started thinking about the progress of my life since my anxiety begun in march 2012 . The people in my life have got new relationships , had babies and got married , me ? I'm just staying above the water.

I'm so depressed and this morning I had a complete freak out again convinced I have Hodgkin's


And also wow how advanced it must be that I have no chance now when I get diagnosed .

I'm so depressed , I recently got a new job and just want to do so well and get my first house etc But I'm struggling. I've put on a tonne of weight because I'm stress eating and find myself becoming anti social .

Sorry for the rambling on , just really wanted to talk to people who understand me :( I put on such a front to everyone else In the world

[luc]

Hi Gemmal,
It's fine to ramble. I have just been doing a bit myself. People are here to support you. The anxiety and the catastrophying go hand in hand.

[Gemmal]

Thanks luc :) really appreciate the support !

[wnsos]

Like Luc said, you're always welcome to ramble here. Sometimes we just need to get things off our chest somehow and it's a lot better than internalising things on our own. :hugs:

Recently I ran into the mum of a girl I went to school with, she's now a dr living in London. When I liken that to my life I feel like I've lost out immensely because of my own mind. But we can beat this. Our minds might think they're in control but they're not and it sucks that the road to getting there is so long but it's a road because there's somewhere to go. You can beat it xx

[Autumn18]

Recently I ran into the mum of a girl I went to school with, she's now a dr living in London. When I liken that to my life I feel like I've lost out immensely because of my own mind.

I would just like to say that a few months ago my mum ran into a girl i went to school with's mum....my mum apparently told her how fabulously well i'm doing and that i got married and have this lovely house in the country.... i was mortified that she would say that practically a stranger. Parents's have this perceptive of their children's lives as they just want them to do well. However, I have just had to admit to her that i struggling with health anxiety. When I did, she said 'put things into perspective'... like it's that easy!
I'm sure you already know this (but sometimes it helps to hear it) don't compare your life to anyone else, everyone has issues. and as Baz Lurhman says 'the race is long, and in the end it's only with ourselves'. Stay strong eveyone :)

[Peter2]

I hear you, Gemmal. These feelings hit very close to home. One thing that helps is to remember that your anxiety has given you a depth of experience as a person. I know, I know, it wasn't worth it. It really isn't. But alas, our misfortune has a silver lining, which is compassion, creativity, and -- perhaps most of all -- an appreciation for the understated, in-between times in which things are going well.

You have a new job (that's a great achievement), you are working toward something (getting your first house, a worthy pursuit I am also working on), and as for the weight, so have I. But we can always lose it, or not. The point is that will be well within our control after dealing with this to do whatever we want. We are strong for facing it, and afterward that strength will remain without its adversary.

[Serenity1990]

I'm in the same boat. I had two degrees from world class universities, was a postgrad researcher, teaching at uni for money and had a dream job paying £65k plus bonus lined up for as soon as I graduated. Now everyone's gone on to do amazing things and I've become a bit of a failure, and I'm not convinced I'll ever catch up.

[Gemmal]

Wow thanks guys for the responses ! I'm so sorry you are all feeling this way too but I'm comforted knowing I'm not alone ! It's torture on a daily basis .

I feel like i want to go to the doctor for more tests but I'm really just becoming a pest , if I have this disease , I have the disease and that's just it :(

Having a bad day today but so far my track record of making it through bad days is 100 % so I will just have to get on with it lol x

[jessica780]

I know what you mean man..
It can be crippling sometimes. You get sick and tired of being sick and tired. You feel like your family and doctors and friends don't take you or your concerns seriously. As soon as somethings wrong they just roll their eyes as if to say "here we go again"
Im sorry you're going through this. It really does suck.
Especially when even the tiniest thing happens and we jump to the worst case scenario.


Here for ya :)