Irrational fears.

[Avasmummy_x]

That is anxiety I know but seriously. Mine get so bad :(

My mum was diagnosed with bipolar and spent 9months in the hospital with it last year. Since then my anxiety has been through the roof! Mental health is prominent in my family my mum has bipolar now my dad has horrendous health anxiety and my mums mum had bi polar and anxiety and actually died in a mental hospital due to a overdosed at the fault of the doctors!!!

Needless to say I've always been scared of mental illness because of this and have little faith in doctors.

I have enough fears about my health enough as it is at the moment but I've just watched rip off Britain and it was about someone being diagnosed with skitzaphrenia!! My biggest fear!! I fear going 'crazy' so bad purely because I'm a nervous wreck and the family medical history. So yeah. Now I'm in panic mode with irrational thoughts my mind won't stop making me think I'm hearing voices which I'm clearly not it's the racing thoughts :(

Anyone else have a fear of going crazy? Because of anxiety? X

[wnsos]

My mum works alongside mental health professionals occasionally in her line of work, and one of the psychiatrists she used to speak to said something about how there's not anybody on earth who doesn't have some sort of "mental" issue. I don't know if that helps any but I do understand. Mental health is rampant in my family as well, going back generations. I'm never sure whether to be thankful I never used to let it bother me or not. As much as genetics are a factor, it's still very individual.

I'm sorry if I've asked this before or not but have you seen your GP about counselling or psychology? A CBT service told me once that gp's and the nhs are there as much for mental health as physical, which is of some comfort even though I'd love for it to be more renowned. I'm going off on a tangent now but worrying about that on top of your health worries will just put you in a bigger hole than you're in. I think talking to somebody about your worries in regards to mental health could help a lot.

Does it come hand in hand with your physical health fears?

[Avasmummy_x]

Hi yes I've had a counsellor before and done cbt for health anxiety. I just have this immense fear that I'm gonna go mad. The panic attacks are so intense and I just feel like everything in my mind is sped up and a million irrational and pointless thoughts running through my head.

It's hard to tell if it was anxiety or something worse if that makes sense?! I want to feel normal :(

[wnsos]

I really really do understand. It's a constant battle for all of us. The thing with anxiety is that I think people that have never had to experience it this badly, they underestimate it and that's why most of us see it as Just Anxiety. In reality, anxiety is horrible enough on its own as it is and I think the biggest step for us all is to realise that it can be the worse we're constantly on the lookout for. I know I drove myself crazy the last couple of months thinking there was no way it could be Just Anxiety if I had all of these physical symptoms but it led to more sadness and really really bad stints because our brains are running at 500mph even when we're not entirely aware of it. Have you tried to keep a diary of your thoughts?

[Avasmummy_x]

A diary would be a good idea for my gp to look at. When I get to the doctors I just freeze and forget everything I was about to say.

I've got a lot of stress in my life atm so I'm hoping it's just that but I'm so paranoid now and feel like I'm waiting for it to happen again or to start having hallucinations or something terrifying! But the problem is as soon as I think about it the panic kicks in again and so do the racing thoughts x

[wnsos]

Yep, tis but the awful cycle of anxiety. Thought I had it bad until I got the physical symptoms on top. It's so hard to not try and think it's something bad cause you're always like "but what if?" And your brain goes into overdrive. Definitely keep a diary. Or when you go to the gp take a list. I freeze up too when I don't have one. xx

[Avasmummy_x]

Thanks. I calmed down yesterday but it's back again this morning. Seems to be whenever I notice it's not there then I start the cycle of racing thoughts x

---------- Post added at 11:16 ---------- Previous post was at 10:09 ----------

I'll just be sat there and my head will just start racing, its like a million voices in my head all talking really fast at the same time, its hard to explain, its not exactly a voice as they are silent and there isn't actually any words if that makes sense but it feels so strange, when it happens I panic so much as I feel like I'm going crazy x