Suffered with Health Anxiety all my life ... then I get Cancer

[imageek]

As you can imagine, for those of us who suffer with health anxiety any sort of health worry is dreadful. The constant cycle of thinking I have an illness, convincing myself I have an illness.

It's constant, daily. Not a day has gone by since I was 18 that I haven't thought about some type of health anxiety.

I've had many worries of Cancer. It shocked the hell out of me when my Dad got Cancer. Then 3 years later, at only 27 I was diagnosed with testicle Cancer. Don't worry, I'm all clear now. I had the op to remove testicle and chemo.

But, all my life doctors have said "Don't worry, you're fine". On this occasion though I was right, and it's probably because of my health anxiety that I caught it so early that it was easily treated.

I can't move on from this though. I can't trust that my physical symptoms are anxiety. When I had Cancer my family thought I was just being worried again, and ignored it. I was convinced it was Testicle Cancer. I believe the doctor rolled his eyes when I told him my concerns.

How do I move on from this? How can I ever get past health anxiety? 12 years I've had it now. Only thing that helps is my meds.

[HalfJack]

If you went to the dr 20 times a year, and after 5 years were right once that's only 1 time in 100 that you were right. Odds wise, it's much more likely to be right if they tell you you're fine and I think people forget that sometimes it's going to be right. It sounds like it was a blessing in many ways, although I guess it doesn't feel like it.

Were the symptoms of your cancer different from other symptoms that had made you worry before?

[Frankie123]

I think you are completely right. I think many doctors dismiss your symptoms because they know you have health anxiety. I am lucky I have a very good GP who will always offer scans or blood tests etc. just to make sure everything is okay. One for instance is when I went to GP and said I could hear my heart beating in my head, he did tests and found I had aortic stenosis. He could easily have dismissed this as health anxiety knowing my history.

[HalfJack]

I think it's wrong for them to roll their eyes but I can understand why they do it, glad you have a good Dr, I think it's really crucial to have that if you have health anxiety.

Have you talked to him about cbt or anything like that for your HA?

[belvedia]

I'm glad you're clear. Cancer is such a scary, terrible thing.

HA really is a double-edged sword. On one hand, it can be hell to live with and to constantly be convinced something is seriously wrong with you. On the other hand, complete health apathy can result in disaster, so at least our anxiety drives us to search for answers. The way doctors and family can treat us is frustrating, though. To them it's just a personality flaw of ours, not a genuine concern, so it's easy to dismiss.

Seconding HalfJack's question about CBT. I've only started going to a therapist recently, but the techniques she's taught me for calming down and not hopping on the train to Doomsdayville have helped.

[imageek]

If you went to the dr 20 times a year, and after 5 years were right once that's only 1 time in 100 that you were right. Odds wise, it's much more likely to be right if they tell you you're fine and I think people forget that sometimes it's going to be right. It sounds like it was a blessing in many ways, although I guess it doesn't feel like it.

Were the symptoms of your cancer different from other symptoms that had made you worry before?

None really. I didn't even know. I was in the bath one day washing down there and noticed one of them felt hard. Instantly got onto Google and it said Testicle Cancer. So I went to my doctor, who then sent me for an ultrasound. Although even the doctor told me not to worry because the chances of it being Cancer are so slim. He said he would bet his job it's not Cancer.

All my family mocked me, telling me I'm a hypochondriac.

It was a blessing yes. If I wasn't paranoid about health I probably would have left it. I am glad it was only stage one.

It's just hard to remember that sometimes I could be wrong.

---------- Post added at 12:34 ---------- Previous post was at 12:31 ----------

My psychiatrist is forwarding me to CBT. I've had it before and it didn't really work for me, but I completed half of it. It doesn't help that I have Aspergers, which alone has it's own problems. I don't know if the anxiety is because of Aspergers, or a separate issue. I just keep thinking I'll always be like this.