Please Help: Where Can Alienated Teen Spend Christmas?

[achybreakyheart]

Hi there, thank you for clicking on my post. :)

The title says it all, really.
I'm a 17 year old girl who has recently moved abroad for school.
Currently, I'm euphoric because of this life change, and most of my health anxiety (I have hypothyroidism, high blood pressure, and allergies) has vanished! :) So, that's great, and I will continue to strengthen.

However, in my new, amazing life, people have started mentioning Christmas, and many express their excitement to return to their homes. The very mention of the word causes me to wince. I am no big fan of Christmas for the very reason that all of my Christmases after the age of 10 have been miserable for various reasons.
It is mostly due to my mother's phenomenal lack of enthusiasm. I grew up with her alone without any siblings, cousins, grandparents, or a father figure. I don't blame her, and I do love her; she worked three jobs (she is a workaholic) and one of them was at a church so she had to be absent during the most sacred times of Christmas. This led to us not even eating a single Christmas meal together, and I spent this Christmas Eve '13 alone, walking around our flat like a zombie whilst thinking of all the people that would love to have me in their company, if only they could find me.

I don't feel sorry for myself at all, I just fear the consequences of being left at my own accord too long, and I don't want to soil the recovery I've made. I don't want to be alone again; to get strange, almost suicidal thoughts; to question the very meaning of life. I just want someone to help take care of me and distract me from my past experiences, I guess.

Then again, I take very good care of myself. I exercise, eat healthy, study hard, and try to be a kind, all-rounded person. (Just this morning I bought a homeless woman a cup of hot chocolate.) I am alarmingly independent for someone aged 17, and I mostly spend time with older people, sometimes people in their thirties, forties, and fifties. I never feel satisfied around people my own age, but that's a completely different story.

I just feel like I've been screaming into the void for too long - that's why I went to college early, and, as I expected, my life has taken a big turn for the better - and now it's time for me to celebrate and rejoice in the company of people who care for me.

But I have no one back home except my mom, and I just cannot spend Christmas with her. She said exclusively that she doesn't want me to be miserable -- with her. She's even thinking of going somewhere by herself.

I've spent much time with strangers throughout my life, crashing here and there when need be, so I wouldn't mind spending this Christmas with some lovely loving people, even though I would never see them again, even though it would feel slightly awkward; I don't really mind, as long as I feel appreciated the tiniest bit.

I can cook, I can clean, I can take care of children, I can sing, I can play instruments, I can laugh, and I can love.

I can even pay to spend Christmas with someone.

This is not a desperate request, this is just my premature worries. I just need some advice from people who have experienced something similar and how they coped with it.

If anyone can help console me or perhaps give me some suggestions as to what the heck I can do, I would very much appreciate that.

And, no, there is no way I can spend Christmas with my mother.

Also, I am extremely happy right now, it's just the thought of Christmas that frightens me.

Have a lovely day, all, and keep swimming towards divinity :bighug1:

[.Poppy.]

First off, congrats on the life change! Sorry for your Christmas worries, but at least it's only one day :)

Do any churches around you have a Christmas dinner? If they do, you could get involved with the congregation and make some acquaintances/friends and go to that. It may be nerve racking to go solo, but for only one meal you could always make small talk. And I'm sure if they knew you were a student away from home they'd be happy to have you.

You may also get an invite from one of your school friends if they know you're staying at school over the holiday.

That's the best I've got idea wise - hopefully someone else will be able to contribute more :)

[clarisse]

Volunteers are always welcome and appreciated at the Homeless shelters if nothing else comes to mind. Who says you can,t have a different kind of Chistmas.? Too much emphasis is put on it nowadays and it can make you feel bad if you let it. Whatever you decide to do, I hope you find something or someone to share it with.

[Oosh]

Aaaw what a fantastic attitude you've got !

"and now it's time for me to celebrate and rejoice in the company of people who care for me."

absolutely !!!
That is THE right attitude.

Like you say, it's time to find some good people around you now and there are lots in the world. Give it time, it'll happen. Especially giving out such a positive attitude as that.

I hated Christmas too. My dad would go out drinking at noon and we'd all have to wait for him to come home mid afternoon before we could have dinner and he'd be drunk and cringey and it'd be uncomfortable, EVERY YEAR.

Once I left home I never wanted to go back either.

Surely there are other students who are in the same boat. I live in Leeds. There are two universities here. When I first moved here I lived in student land. Not all of them go back home for Christmas. I've heard students online saying that too over the years.

Can you not put something on a student message board, notice board asking any students who are not going home for Christmas if they're interested in arranging a dinner and party type thing on the day. It would be a great way to make friends with the people who, for whatever reason, are not keen on going home either.

Ask student services if they arrange anything or if they have any ideas. I bet there is SOMEONE who is also stranded there over the Christmas period.

Do you have any friends anywhere who you could sound out about inviting you over ?

Aw no. I really want you to have a nice Christmas now after that lovely post. I'll keep thinking.