I am going crazy, theres something seriously wrong

[stay_gold]

I think I have more than just anxiety. I am always crying, suddenly too. I'm under so much pressure studying and working nights. I rarely see anyone because I have no time and I am becoming suicidal, well I am suicidal. I don't trust my self with knives so I threw them all out of my house. I am happy on moment and sad the next. I'm wondering if it's bipolar disorder, although I hear that a lot of people get misdiagnosed. I will still check though. I am at boiling point. Please help!

[Oosh]

Nights are not good for your moods. I did them for years. You need to sleep at the same time consistently to regulate hormones which determine how you feel.

I LOVED working nights, the peace and quiet and solitude. But they did play havoc with my moods. Crying out of the blue sounds about right.

[MrAndy]

Bipolar is more extreme than that,do you have anybody you can turn to for support ?

[HalfJack]

Mood swings like that sound like a pretty normal symptom of anxiety to me, esp if you're working nights and not seeing anyone x

[Elle-Kay]

You're not going crazy. This IS what anxiety does. You experience symptoms which your body interprets as meaning you're in danger. As you can't see any danger, and can't ascribe the feelings to a cause, you assume there must be something else wrong. There isn't. It's just anxiety tricking your body. This will cause your depressive & tearful periods. Your sleep cycles must be very stretched, which won't help - anxiety is more easily triggered when we're tired. You mention you're studying - is there a counsellor at your institution that you could talk to? (I work as a lecturer & this is a service my institution provides free of charge, through student support services).

[stay_gold]

Thanks guys, I'm still worried at withdrew the fact that I stayed walked though a woods to get home in fear of the me running in front of a vehicle to die, that can't be just anxiety can it?

[MyNameIsTerry]

Yes, it can, its desperation. I've been there and sure many others have. You just hit rock bottom with depression or you get so sick of the anxiety symptoms & racing thoughts that you just want it to alll end. I've walked up A roads with my shopping thinking "just let one of these lorries come flying of and put me out of my misery".

In terms of bipolar, there are 2 types. One, the most severe, it the one we are all familiar with where your mania is extreme and so are your suicidal tendencies. However, there is a lower level form, something I didn't know existed until I started considering whether I was bipolar, and this form means the swings are less extreme.

Something to consider is whether you experience mania. Anybody with anxiety & depression can experience the mood swings into depression but the mania is something different. I don't get the mania, so it must be annxiety & depression in my case.

[Tish]

You poor thing. I remember those horrible feelings when I was terrified of knives and of walking down the street because the urge to throw myself under a bus was almost overwhelming. It IS anxiety and these are obviously common problems associated with it. I would see your GP as the biggest help for this is CBT. I used to sweat and shake at the sight of a knife but now I can handle them normally and don't worry about buses, lorries anymore so you WILL get better. In the meantime, do what you can to change your lifestyle to help eliminate the stress you're under. I know that's easier said than done but it's essential for your health.
All the best.

[MyNameIsTerry]

You poor thing. I remember those horrible feelings when I was terrified of knives and of walking down the street because the urge to throw myself under a bus was almost overwhelming. It IS anxiety and these are obviously common problems associated with it. I would see your GP as the biggest help for this is CBT. I used to sweat and shake at the sight of a knife but now I can handle them normally and don't worry about buses, lorries anymore so you WILL get better. In the meantime, do what you can to change your lifestyle to help eliminate the stress you're under. I know that's easier said than done but it's essential for your health.
All the best.

The issue with intrusive thoughts such as the potential to hurt yourself is one of the OCD types. Its very similar to the violent intrusive thoughts I think, its like a lack of trust in yourself.

I guess its really just like thinking you are going crazy due to the constant onslaught of anxiety symptoms.

In terms of intrusive thoughts, Mindfulness was a big help to me as it taught me to spend time in meditation breaking them up and over time this reduced their frequency & intensity. With the violent ones I got to the point of them passing through in a few seconds or a response of thinking how ludicrous they were, even laughing at times.

[Rennie1989]

It doesn't sound like bipolar to me.

The suicidal thoughts, social isolation, low self esteem and random crying sounds like depression. I think it's important that you see your doctor for some support.

[Avasmummy_x]

My mum has severe bi polar attempted suicide twice and spent the whole of last year in a mental hospital.

Believe me hun you don't have it x