Separation anxiety? Or just love

[Butterfly22]

I suffer with generalised anxiety disorder, I'm in a relationship of two months, I'm struggling in the respect that everytime we have to part I'm in tears and feel very low, I don't know if it's just love or part of my condition? We do feel strongly about each other but can't seem to cope when we have to part for instance he has to travel home about 20 miles, anxiety related or just love?

[Oosh]

Were you isolated before you two met ? Maybe you really miss the company and don't like being on your own more again when he's not there.

[MyNameIsTerry]

Do you think it could be because you find your anxiety is less when you are together hence you know you will be suffering more when you part? Sometimes we can cling to something because we know how hard it is the rest of the time when the anxiety is high.

[Butterfly22]

I think I do cling on to him alot, and anxiety does seem less when Im with him, I seem a lot happier, before he came along I guess I was a bit isolated.

[Dazza123]

My other half (13 years) was in hospital recently for a week and I was on my own, I fell apart and couldn't function at all. That was love, and separation anxiety :)

[Fishmanpa]

I suffer with generalised anxiety disorder, I'm in a relationship of two months, I'm struggling in the respect that everytime we have to part I'm in tears and feel very low, I don't know if it's just love or part of my condition? We do feel strongly about each other but can't seem to cope when we have to part for instance he has to travel home about 20 miles, anxiety related or just love?

If I'm to be candid, feeling low to the point of crying when you're apart only two months into a relationship is a bit extreme. I don't feel it's a reaction to separation nor is it love. It's perfectly normal to miss one that you love or "feel strongly about" but not to the point of being unable to function IMO.

Positive thoughts

[MyNameIsTerry]

If I'm to be candid, feeling low to the point of crying when you're apart only two months into a relationship is a bit extreme. I don't feel it's a reaction to separation nor is it love. It's perfectly normal to miss one that you love or "feel strongly about" but not to the point of being unable to function IMO.

Positive thoughts

It may be accentuated due to the GAD. Doing anything in your normal routine can bring on anxiety when GAD is really bad so it could do this in separation.

[Oosh]

You were isolated and lonely before he came into your life.
You suffer from anxiety so, alone, your ability to calm yourself etc is not as good as they could be.
Add to that things like your bf giving you self esteem, there are three reasons why his absence would leave you feeling lonely, anxious and low in self esteem.

Only someone who knows isolation like that can understand how someone coming into your life and leaving again, even if only temporarily, can effect you.

When he's not there practice calming yourself down with your thoughts and big yourself up. Write down reasons to feel good about yourself.
List the good things about yourself.
List what people will like about you.

[Butterfly22]

Thanks everyone, it may well be that my anxiety accentuates the situation, we do feel very deeply about each other, maybe your right I need to figure how to feel calm and good about myself on my own as well.

[MyNameIsTerry]

Do you have any social outlets? If not, then I would suggest this can help you build confidence, self worth & self esteem.

Perhaps a club or society for a cause or practice that you are interested in? Or maybe a course so yuo can meet & interact with other people?

Isolation really does sap our confidence which leads to sapping the rest. We don't feel like we are much of anything but this is a distortion of the true facts because you are worth something and this guy obviously sees it so take something from that and look towards building these other social outlets.

[Harmonica]

I've just been diagnosed with Adult Separation Anxiety since starting CBT for what I assumed was GAD. I don't cry when we part but I get very anxious and panicky when we're not together. When we are apart I have this need to know where he is and what he's doing. This is nothing to do with trust, you understand not is it me wanting to control him but it's a result of ASAD. Have you thought about trying CBT for ASAD?

[musiclover]

I had some of these feelings when I met my boyfriend of nearly 3 years. I worked with a counsellor and talked through my feelings each week and it helped me to understand what of my feelings were due to my anxiety and how I could manage them. Sometimes I would react irrationally but she helped to understand what was normal and how I could manage my feelings to be able to have a more 'normal' relationship.