Lack of understanding

[Will29]

Hi All, i have GAD and depressive rumination (which totally exhausts me) however i think the biggest thing which actually seems to cause me further issue is other people lack of understanding, or should i say lack wanting to understand. It is almost like people who just casually say they are stressed for a novel reason seem to get support however anything that seems deeper than just having a little bit of work on is almost frowned upon.

I am still shocked that Anxiety itself isnt recognised or supported, all the years i have gone through this so far and i had hoped that it wouldnt be an awkward subject. I almost feel if i was to approach a family member or friend and say i had been experiencing piles i would be better supported. The only support i really get is from my mum. It has been a pretty horrific year for me after loosing my dad to cancer in March and then getting a disciplinary at work in the July due to lack of performance (you wonder what had caused the lack of performance) the disciplinary was the final straw really and now i am going back to being like i was before just wanting to shut myself away and sleep not communicating with anyone.

Can anyone else relate or give some advice how to bring yourself back up when you are seemingly hitting a wall i have so much personal devlopment i need to be doing and i just cant focus or bring myself round to doing anything nothing seems to inspire me at the moment at all

[chickpea]

Have you had any kind of support at all - counselling, drug therapy, grief counselling?
You've obviously been through a lot, not just since the death of your father but presumably through his illness.

You sound as though you are struggling with depression as well as anxiety, and maybe short term antidepressants would help lift you enough to be able to seek help from CBT or similar.
In the meantime, maybe look into mindfulness - there are some great books available, and online courses, like Headspace (I found it really helpful and the first few podcasts are free).

---------- Post added at 23:08 ---------- Previous post was at 22:39 ----------

I forgot to say - I had a complete breakdown 5 years ago, after a couple of years of horrific stress (I was carjacked at knifepoint, and then my dad died from pancreatitis after 6 months in intensive care, and my daughter was diagnosed with ADHD) and was then diagnosed with Crohn's disease.

I was on Citalopram for nearly a year and then had counselling, so my post to you was based on my own experience. My life saver was actually Claire Weekes book, Self Help for Your Nerves, as recommended by numerous people on here - it's still my go-to book when I can feel my anxiety starting up again.

[MyNameIsTerry]

Really sorry to hear about your dad.

Your employer cannot give you a disciplinary for lack of performance, they have to follow a capability procedure. If they did not do this, they have not followed employment law so you could look into how to tackle that. Capability procedures encompass illness and performance issues which follow a different route to disciplinaries which are for wrong doing.

Mental health still has stigma and it will for a long time in my opinion because it requires education which takes a long time. There will always be moronic people who act badly or bully others as well, the kind of people who don't grasp the concept of respect very well.

It sounds like you are lacking in self confidence, self worth & self esteem. Anxiety beats it out of you. Are there any self help charities in your area? I have these in my area and they offer walk-in meetings, courses, socials, etc which help rebuild these areas.

I think to a certain extent you have to get beyond the issue of stigma and focus more on yourself and your recovery otherwise you will be thinking about an area of long term change that won't be helpful to you. Use forums like this, use the charities and you have your mum as well so take what you need from these and work on getting better.

[Will29]

Have you had any kind of support at all - counselling, drug therapy, grief counselling?
You've obviously been through a lot, not just since the death of your father but presumably through his illness.

You sound as though you are struggling with depression as well as anxiety, and maybe short term antidepressants would help lift you enough to be able to seek help from CBT or similar.
In the meantime, maybe look into mindfulness - there are some great books available, and online courses, like Headspace (I found it really helpful and the first few podcasts are free).

---------- Post added at 23:08 ---------- Previous post was at 22:39 ----------

I forgot to say - I had a complete breakdown 5 years ago, after a couple of years of horrific stress (I was carjacked at knifepoint, and then my dad died from pancreatitis after 6 months in intensive care, and my daughter was diagnosed with ADHD) and was then diagnosed with Crohn's disease.

I was on Citalopram for nearly a year and then had counselling, so my post to you was based on my own experience. My life saver was actually Claire Weekes book, Self Help for Your Nerves, as recommended by numerous people on here - it's still my go-to book when I can feel my anxiety starting up again.

Thank you for your reply, i dont have much of a support network, my wife as much as i love her doesnt understand so just bypasses any moment i start to raise my feelings with a "oh you and your quirky ways" which to be honest i dont blame her for she just doesnt understand it isnt something she understands so is choosing to walk round it. However that does leave me feeling pretty much like i am fighting alone. I cant lean on my mother too much as she is on antidepressants and dont want to make her have too much on her shoulders. I try and battle through as much as i can it has just been in the past couple of years i have noticed the big 'front' i always have which is mostly up to avoid people thinking something is up with me is now deteriorating so i am starting to become a little less patient and biting at people a little bit more not least my kids which i hate and hate myself for being short with them.

I am trying different things to balance myself and ground myself again such as mediating and yoga etc but it is maintaing focus i have trouble with because as before i am just exhausted all the time. I tired writting down a list the other day of different things i am worried abount or i have ruminating around in my head and at last count i was at 39 items. Now some of these i could probably reflect on and potentially lessen the impact of their need for worry as it were but it certainly explains why i am so tired all the time

Funny you should mention Headspace that is what i have been using to meditate i am just purchased a years membership :)