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kazzie
31-12-06, 14:25
Hi Everyone

sorry this isent very relevant but desperate to know how to react!!!!

my 20 yr old son came home this morning and informed me he had slept with his mate andy!!!!!

he thinks he might be gay!!!

i said define slept with and he said we dident go all the way!!!!!

i am shocked but covered it up and i think i can accept it but now i have to tell my husband (his stepfather)

not sure of the purpose of this post really but any imput would be welcome .......

luv kaz x x x

groovygranny
31-12-06, 15:34
Hi Kazzie!

Think the first thing you should do is reassure your son how much you love him, no matter what your differences in outlook may be.
Maybe he hasn't made his mind up yet but is running it by you to see what response he'll get. Or maybe he has and has decided to just come right out with it.

The main thing, in my opinion, is to keep the lines of communication open and talk calmyly about it. Not sure what else to say as we all have our own thoughts on this, but if I was in your position that's the approach I would take. Hope I've been helpful!

Good luck

Lotsa luv

GG [:P]

xx

'There are no such things as strangers; just friends we haven't made yet!'

wendy
31-12-06, 15:35
Hi Kaz

A lot of young people experiement with people of same sex so it may just be curiosity, However if he is gay then I think the most important thing is to offer support and I think is great that you obviously have such a close relationship that he can come and talk to you, Your bound to be shocked a little but I think whats meant to be will be and it much better for you both that he can be so honest and unpront with you, your obvioulsy a really good mum!

Take Care

Wendy xx

kazzie
31-12-06, 15:41
THANKS GG AND WENDY!!!!

IM STILL SAT HERE THINKING UMMMMMMMM

YOU HAVE BOTH HELPED THO!!!

IM STILL AVOIDING TELLING HUBBY OFF TO HIDE IN A BUBBLE BATH NOW LOL

KAZ X X X

yorkylover
31-12-06, 16:50
Hi Kazzie,my brother told us he was gay,then he told us he wanted to be a woman.At the moment Im not sure what he wants,and I dont think he does.This is alot of why he drinks.
Your son could be unsure of what he wants and he needs to find out for himself.He told you which is a good thing.He must want your support.It is hard for families to accept,my dad found it very hard.He accepts my brother,but he still finds things very difficult.Just be there for him.Pm me any time Kazz,I know what your going through.

Ellen XX

Lynnann
31-12-06, 17:24
Hi Kazzie,

I think it shows that you are a great mum because your son came straight to you and told you about this.

So he might be gay, he might not all you can do is tell him you love him and whatever his orientation might be he is and always will be your son.

Did he want you to tell your husband or is this something he would want to tell him himself?

Hugs to you

Lynnann

kazzie
31-12-06, 17:36
THANKS ELLEN AND LYNNANN!!!

YES HE WANTS ME TO TELL HUBBY COS HE WANTS TO TALK ABOUT THINGS OPENLY AND CANT TILL HUBBY KNOWS!!!!

STILL HAVENT GOT ROUND TO IT THO LOL

LUV KAZ X X X

jo61
31-12-06, 17:38
At 20, would it not be better coming from him?



Jo

Piglet
31-12-06, 18:02
My reaction would be 'cool' then give em a hug and if they wanna talk about it then that's fine but otherwise I'd get the dinner on.

To me someone's sexuality is as about as important as their eye colour and only relevent if it is causing them distress in anyway.

This is obviously very important as its a new step in your sons life and I am sure with a smashing mum like you it will be absorbed by all concerned with respect and dignity. Having said that anything to do with our kids takes a little mulling over - which is usually done in the wee small hours,[Sigh...] involving getting up and considering a baileys or a dose of night nurse. Once you've had a few nights of doing this you usually get it resolved in your head and can get back to 'normal'!!!

Love Piglet xx



"Supposing a tree fell down, Pooh, when we were underneath it?" said Piglet.
"Supposing it didn't," said Pooh after careful thought.

jodie
31-12-06, 18:14
hi kazzie


i think as people have sead the best thing to do is stay calm and see how things turn out if it is that he is gay just be glad he is open with you guys and be there for him .
i know you must be finding the whole thing hard but i am sure things will be ok in the end as long as he is happy

love jodie xx

kazzie
31-12-06, 18:17
Cheers Piglet:D

Lovely advice as always:D

What you said sums up how i feel perfectly!!!!

Might be fun to have a son in law eh???

Oh and by the way happy new year to you and the piglets:D:D:D

luv kaz x x x

Piglet
31-12-06, 18:20
Thank you darlin :D:D:D

...... and the same to you :D

Piglet :)

Nel
31-12-06, 18:25
It's not a big deal, eh? It would be awful if he had come and said he was ill or something, but sexuality is just a very small part of a person, so I'd just offer him my support and let him know it makes no difference.

Nel xxx

___________________________________________
"At the end of a storm, there's a golden sky..."

shoegal
31-12-06, 21:17
Hi,
I think it is great he felt able to talk to you.
His sexuality makes no difference, he is still your gorgeous son.
Just offer him your support and everything will be fine.

HAPPY NEW YEAR!!! :D

Love shoegal xxx

Ammeg
02-01-07, 12:20
hey kaz,
just want to say u r a bloody brill mam!!! as someone said he came home and told ya straight away!!! I think loads of people experiment some when their younger... but its lovely to see he has ur support no matter wot!!!! :D
Gemxxxxxxxxxxxx

LickeyEndBlues
02-01-07, 13:44
Hi Kazzie,
I'm not adding any more to this other than agreeing with everything that is already here.

Take care and will chat soon

Iain
x

What's so funny about peace, love and understanding?

feege
02-01-07, 14:08
I just wanted to add my 5pence on this!

First, yes you are obviously a fab mum if he felt able to tell you like that!

When my son was about 18 I really thought he might be gay. He hadn't had a girlfriend, he was very 'pretty' and not at all into male stuff...

It was interesting - as a liberal/socialist and feminist I had absolutely no moral qualms about it at all and like most of us just wanted him to be happy and healthy. But I do remember having some emotions like "is it cos he doesn't want someone like me" but I think that is to do with my self confidence mostly! What I'm trying to say is don't be hard on yourself if you do have some difficult feelings about it and I hope his dad can handle it well too! You will all work it through together with love....

My son got his first girlfriend when he was about 19 and I have to say part of me was disappointed - I had grown to like the idea of having a gay son! But I was very keen to see him marry and have kids too - but hey look - he married and his wife has leukaemia and can't have children now...

Life is never simple and straightforward but so long as your son is happy and healthy I'm sure you will all be absolutely fine! I now live in Brighton and seem to know more gay men than straight!

I hear gay men treat their mothers very well too lol[:O];)

Fee xxxxxx
www.like2like.com

Why live life anticipating the bad things when you could be anticipating the good?
Good and bad things WILL happen!

kazzie
03-01-07, 01:50
Thanks everyone!!!!

Fee he is always very good to me!!!!

Well he has decided he is bi sexual now and im fine with it so is hubby it seems to be Rich thats having problems accepting it!!!

He said his grandparents will disown him his mates will hate him his brother will b horrified!!!

I said its no one elses business is it??? You dont go up to people and say hi im richard and im straight do you??? He said no so I said well you arent going to say hi im Richard and im bi are you??? He said no so as I said well no one needs to worry then!!! He said he feels like he is keeping a grubby little secret and i pointed out like piglet said its no more important than the fact you have blue eyes!!!

Sorry for the rant but I hate to see him fretting over something so silly!!!

luv kaz x x x