View Full Version : Are you ashamed of your Health Anxiety?
For many years I was ashamed of my health anxiety. Are you the same?
I have worded that wrong - by ashamed, I mean do you try to hide it from friends & family.
Here's a test: if this forum was a public, open Facebook group all about Health Anxiety, where all your Facebook friends could see your membership of the group, and all your posts about muscle twitching, chest pains, bowel movements etc, - would you join it? Or do you prefer to post in relative anonymity?
I suspect there may be a slight male/female divide here, but just interested to hear opinions...
Completely !!! I think it makes the whole situation worse as we don't share our fears, but harbour them inside, and I think that the shame also adds to the endless mind chatter " is this something.... no don't be silly.....but it could be....... etc" it all makes us feel really ashamed, self obsessed and embarrassed but hey, no I certainly would not go public !!!.
I have not been ashamed
RoseEve, ashamed was the wrong word to use. What I mean is, do you openly talk about it with family and friends - are you happy for everyone to know about your issues or would you rather keep them out of the public domain and anonymous, like on a forum.
Skippy I am very open about my HA. All my family and friends know about it as I sometimes use them for "reassurance". I even joke about it. I think it helps me to keep control of the absurd things that go through my mind.
sarah
Thanks for the feedback so far. Anyone else?
I'm more embarrassed than ashamed even though I guess they are pretty similar,
Only a few people know and they mock me and don't take it to serious, I guess they have no idea what I actually go through
unsure_about_this
14-10-14, 20:28
I am quite embarrassed how many times I went to the doctors last year, well sincer 2012 and all these scans, I do have a health condition called NF. I think this is one of the reasons I am still single and never had a girlfriend (my mum other has said she will sent you back to us)
I have droved my parents mad last year.
Forum or Facebook (well forum is better) Facebook do people really use this site in the same way as a few years ago and is Facebook as active. I don't use Facebook much as I prefer how the site looked a few years ago.
I think that it is best to keep it hidden because i used to use going to the GP as a coping mechanism but it got to a point where i made up an excuse as to where i was actually going but then my ha seems to have settled down as i am nowhere near as bad as i used to be and dont use the gp as a coping mechanism anymore.
Only my Mum and my OH know about my HA - my OH is generally more aware of the severity of it. More recently this year I've made more trips to the doctors because of it but again I haven't gone into the detail of how severe it is. I think the main reason I don't go into detail with my friends is because a lot of the problems I worry about are to do with "private" things that you wouldn't generally bring up in conversation - i.e. bowel issues, problems with the contraceptive pill, and in most recent months, cervical cancer.
I'm part of an emetophobia support group on Facebook and now and again I do post personal things about bowel/tummy related things (if I'm REALLY panicking) because the group is under the 'secret' status, but I have on occasion had a mild freak out worrying that my friends and colleagues would have seen them on their timelines.
I'm neither ashamed nor embarrassed to say to anyone that I've suffered/suffer from anxiety, that being health anxiety (don't get me wrong I don't shout it from the hilltops) but I have had conversations with a a lot of people and once opening up the discussion, I found that a lot of other people I knew that I would have never expected to of experienced anxiety openly share their experiences. It's ok I know it doesn't define me.
CleverLittleViper
14-10-14, 22:39
I wouldn't necessarily want it broadcasted, no.
I think people with HA are too often perceived as attention-seekers, or people just "putting it on," for show or effect. So, it's not something I'd especially want to announce to my Facebook list for example.
My family know about my issues. They aren't quite aware of how far back they span, but they are aware of the existence of them. But there's very few people in my life that I'd trust enough to tell and know that I'll be taken seriously, and not laughed at or derided as being an attention-seeker.
MyNameIsTerry
15-10-14, 05:30
I don't suffer from HA, I'm GAD & various forms of OCD, but I wanted to add my comments because I don't think there is a difference and in the case of some Pure OCD sufferers the subject can be very difficult to discuss.
So, for me, I feel ashamed when I'm hitting a bad cycle which makes sense as we catastrophize. Otherwise I feel some embarrassment but it tends to matter who I am talking to. I'm ok with family, although some areas I keep to therapy or on here, I've had to involve them as it affected them but I'm more wary with other people because you need to understand a bit more about how they think before you open up. Thats not just anxiety...would you start talking about your piles with people in the street or erectile dysfunction maybe??? You may get some funny looks and maybe its more from a "please stop telling me about this, I really don't want to know" point of view.
The world is full of idiots and all the people who may not understand or be derogatory are not squeeky clean either, its just that we will then internalise it unlike a non anxious person who might turn thr other cheek on the basis the person is an idiot or give them a piece of their mind!
LittleMissMadge
15-10-14, 16:00
Yes im very embaraased.Only my OH and Mum know how bad I am.My children haven't a clue and I never want them too x
anxiouskitten
15-10-14, 16:21
hi skippy (and all)...i'm definitely in the group that is embarrassed by my health anxiety....my boyfriend knows about it, as does my sister...but no one else. i was just talking with my therapist about this very subject last week, and how if i had a "real" illness, i'd talk about it with my work colleagues and friends, but because it's a mental health issue, there is a stigma attached to it...my sister makes fun of me and tells me to "just get over it"...my boyfriend is wonderful, but even he doesn't fully understand what i go through every day, and how much effort it takes me to even get out of bed sometimes....it can be very frustrating and lonely, which is why, i suppose, this forum is so helpful for me....at least i know i'm not the only one suffering
almamatters
15-10-14, 18:46
I am open about my Health Anxiety but at the same time find it very embarrassing. My husband and family don't understand it but I do have a couple of work colleagues who are very supportive. I feel very ashamed of my medical record and some of the random things that I have diagnosed myself with and have trouble looking my GP in the face sometimes due to sheer embarrassment.
I like to talk about my feelings with friends and family. No one understands except the good folks on here. I feel much alone since finding this site.
I'm ashamed and I also think anyone who hasn't experienced HA wouldn't understand the condition. Also to cap it all off I'm a Firefighter and also a Rugby coach so my life style is very much one were talking about deep personal feelings isnt really the norm. However I'm sure that if I was to talk openly about my HA then the people around me would listen and be support to a degree but then that's as much as they could do.
My wife knows full well about it and is very understanding but again there's only so much she can do. That's why I like to come to this forum so at least there are I know people are experiencing what I'm going through. If this was a social media style forum I definitely wouldn't use it, or certainly not post on it anyway.
I'm ashamed and I also think anyone who hasn't experienced HA wouldn't understand the condition. Also to cap it all off I'm a Firefighter and also a Rugby coach so my life style is very much one were talking about deep personal feelings isnt really the norm. However I'm sure that if I was to talk openly about my HA then the people around me would listen and be support to a degree but then that's as much as they could do.
My wife knows full well about it and is very understanding but again there's only so much she can do. That's why I like to come to this forum so at least there are I know people are experiencing what I'm going through. If this was a social media style forum I definitely wouldn't use it, or certainly not post on it anyway.
I've never told a soul in the 13yrs I've been suffering on and off. I also coach a colts rugby team :) I played rugby at a reasonable level but as you can imagine the anxiety was hell, I still play a few social games when I'm upto it mentally.
To make matters worse I work in the building trade so I think it's going to be my secret forever unfortunately! If it was depression I'd be able to talk about it, the stigma is gone but anxiety? I don't think so...
Yes I'm ashamed of my HA. Very few people know about it. One person who I'm very close to knows, and can be very disparaging, as she has a serious illness, but doesn't suffer from anxiety. So I do my best to keep it to myself. Its a very lonely thing suffering with mental health. It's very difficult if not impossible for people who've never experienced it to understand how much it can ruin your life. It makes me want to cry just thinking of how it impinges on my enjoyment of life.
It depends on who I am talking to. My husband and family know. My best friends know. I also confided in a coworker because she said she had it as well. However sometimes I am afraid of sharing. I think people also don't realize how bad it can be. I think people sometimes think I'm joking when I am worrying about something or just don't understand that it really is that bad.
worriednow22
27-10-14, 06:49
I'm not ashamed of it but it can make you look paranoid. I do hate asking people what they think and all. Especially when the answer can be so clear and you cannot see it for whatever reason.
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