State of panic
18-10-14, 03:01
I have had health anxiety for 20 plus years, always a worrier. The strange part about that is that I have always been a healthy person with the exception now at 56 with slight hypertension (gee can't image why ha) and bifocals, no history of cancer in my family so I come from a relatively healthy gene pool.
Every ache and pain I get I think it's cancer... I had a strange looking tongue once and was obsessed for weeks with it kept brushing it thinking Inhad cancer of the tongue, I had a small cyst on my neck from an ingrown hair and thought It was cancer, I INSISTED the doctor remove it and he said its so small that I am going to give you an antibiotic and it will clear up, and it did, and there are more stories but you get the picture.
So let's get to the present, I woke up one day and was constipated!!! never mind that my diet was poor, don't think I ate a fruit or vegetable for weeks all fried, fatty food, chocolate, coffee, pop, cheese,.... So I immediately think oh my god I am constipated which means I have cancer. So I ask Dr Google ( who I now don't like anymore) what to do thankfully I found a good site that said increase fiber slowly, drink water and exercise so I proceed to take 1/4 tsp of fiber daily and nothing happened after two weeks ... Then I thought maybe I am not taking enough so I look on the directions and it said to take 1 tsp THREE times daily, well no wonder!!!!! (guess I can't read either ha) but you have to be careful with fiber so I increased it to 1/2 tsp twice daily with lots of water and finally had some good results, and my bowels have been perfect. However in the weeks it took for me to get regulated I changed my diet drastically cut out pop, juice, milk and only drank water and was scared to eat anything that would bind me so I ate vegetables, fruit, very little meat and lost a lot of weight. During this constipation scare I lived in fear and terror everyday. I couldn't sleep at night wondering when I would poo next and got myself so worked up that my anxiety is at an all time High now. So now I have loose stools and am nauseated and have very little appetite. History with me is when I sustain an emotional upset I can't eat I carry my anxiety in my gut. My IBS started after I had my first child if I ate something too rich I would have horrific stomach cramps on the loo it would pass and things would seem normal but I would have flare ups of this for years.
I tend to believe when I became constipated I have worked myself up so much walking around thinking I was going to die from being constipated that It has caught up with me now. I went to the GP and he didn't seem at all concerned about the constipation but more my anxiety, worry and severe depression. I have had ENORMOUS stress in my marriage with a verbally abusive husband of 28 years so perhaps my irritable gut has been triggered off and on by this stressful marriage. By the way I once had Hpylori if any of you were wondering years back and my main symptom was nausea and burping and a burning feeling and it made me very sick. the treatment for it even makes you feel sicker, it's a regimen of two different antibiotics followed with about 8 pepto tablets per day. So here is another good story for ya, I woke up in the middle of my Hpylori treatment and my tongue was BLACK, yes I had a black tongue like a chow dog hahah I ran to the hospital thinking my tongue was rotting and the young doctor said oh my god I have never seen anything like this before and asked if I was breathing ok I told him well I was breathing ok until you said that!!!! The doc said I have to make some calls just a minute... So he comes back in and says good news it's from the pepto tablets. So meanwhile I was shaking on the table thinking I was going to lose my tongue. I did manage to tell him you should not scare your patients like that.
I am sorry for the length of my introduction but I am happy have found this site in where we can talk openly about our fears. However, I do believe anxiety for the most part triggers the gut and it can work the other way around as well. Seems to be a strong correlation between the mind and stomach and it makes matters even worse when we suffer from health anxiety as well. I have been so depressed that I can barely manage to shower once a week :weep: Please don't think badly of me for that, I just don't care, lost so much incentive with all my stresses at the present. Thanks for reading and thanks for all those who respond. I am sick of living my life in fear like this, I have scheduled some theray for myself to get this under control.
Every ache and pain I get I think it's cancer... I had a strange looking tongue once and was obsessed for weeks with it kept brushing it thinking Inhad cancer of the tongue, I had a small cyst on my neck from an ingrown hair and thought It was cancer, I INSISTED the doctor remove it and he said its so small that I am going to give you an antibiotic and it will clear up, and it did, and there are more stories but you get the picture.
So let's get to the present, I woke up one day and was constipated!!! never mind that my diet was poor, don't think I ate a fruit or vegetable for weeks all fried, fatty food, chocolate, coffee, pop, cheese,.... So I immediately think oh my god I am constipated which means I have cancer. So I ask Dr Google ( who I now don't like anymore) what to do thankfully I found a good site that said increase fiber slowly, drink water and exercise so I proceed to take 1/4 tsp of fiber daily and nothing happened after two weeks ... Then I thought maybe I am not taking enough so I look on the directions and it said to take 1 tsp THREE times daily, well no wonder!!!!! (guess I can't read either ha) but you have to be careful with fiber so I increased it to 1/2 tsp twice daily with lots of water and finally had some good results, and my bowels have been perfect. However in the weeks it took for me to get regulated I changed my diet drastically cut out pop, juice, milk and only drank water and was scared to eat anything that would bind me so I ate vegetables, fruit, very little meat and lost a lot of weight. During this constipation scare I lived in fear and terror everyday. I couldn't sleep at night wondering when I would poo next and got myself so worked up that my anxiety is at an all time High now. So now I have loose stools and am nauseated and have very little appetite. History with me is when I sustain an emotional upset I can't eat I carry my anxiety in my gut. My IBS started after I had my first child if I ate something too rich I would have horrific stomach cramps on the loo it would pass and things would seem normal but I would have flare ups of this for years.
I tend to believe when I became constipated I have worked myself up so much walking around thinking I was going to die from being constipated that It has caught up with me now. I went to the GP and he didn't seem at all concerned about the constipation but more my anxiety, worry and severe depression. I have had ENORMOUS stress in my marriage with a verbally abusive husband of 28 years so perhaps my irritable gut has been triggered off and on by this stressful marriage. By the way I once had Hpylori if any of you were wondering years back and my main symptom was nausea and burping and a burning feeling and it made me very sick. the treatment for it even makes you feel sicker, it's a regimen of two different antibiotics followed with about 8 pepto tablets per day. So here is another good story for ya, I woke up in the middle of my Hpylori treatment and my tongue was BLACK, yes I had a black tongue like a chow dog hahah I ran to the hospital thinking my tongue was rotting and the young doctor said oh my god I have never seen anything like this before and asked if I was breathing ok I told him well I was breathing ok until you said that!!!! The doc said I have to make some calls just a minute... So he comes back in and says good news it's from the pepto tablets. So meanwhile I was shaking on the table thinking I was going to lose my tongue. I did manage to tell him you should not scare your patients like that.
I am sorry for the length of my introduction but I am happy have found this site in where we can talk openly about our fears. However, I do believe anxiety for the most part triggers the gut and it can work the other way around as well. Seems to be a strong correlation between the mind and stomach and it makes matters even worse when we suffer from health anxiety as well. I have been so depressed that I can barely manage to shower once a week :weep: Please don't think badly of me for that, I just don't care, lost so much incentive with all my stresses at the present. Thanks for reading and thanks for all those who respond. I am sick of living my life in fear like this, I have scheduled some theray for myself to get this under control.