Tim91
18-10-14, 03:08
Yesterday my grandmother passed away after battling heart issues for the better part of the year.
That being said:
I have not been out of my house in 2 years I am 23 years old and my parents are on the very extreme end of un-supportive, they think mental issues do not exist and that I'm just being a lazy good for nothing.
I am also unable to get into vehicles without having a massive panic attack and the funeral is an hour drive away. I have been told that if I do not go I will have a "bad time"
The last time I got into a car I had a massive panic attack infront of my mom and had to get out of the car and walk home, upon getting home my mom said it was a very "clever" show to get them to believe my lies. This was 2 years ago.
I cannot imagine being out of the house for even 20 minutes let alone 5-6 hours and I can't even get into a car anyways. I've been having constant panic attacks thinking about all of this.
No words of encouragement will change the way my body reacts to all of the aforementioned stuff nor will it change the way my family thinks, so I will more than likely be homeless and dead within the next week, this post is really just to vent.
I don't understand why all this has to happen to me, how for the last 2 years I have been unable to live a normal life help my family financially or earn my families love again and this happens and all I can think about is myself. I feel like a disgusting piece of human trash and I'm even too scared to just kill myself. I don't know what to do and I have noone to talk to and writing this is making me have a panic attack so lets just end it here.
Thanks for reading I guess.
That being said:
I have not been out of my house in 2 years I am 23 years old and my parents are on the very extreme end of un-supportive, they think mental issues do not exist and that I'm just being a lazy good for nothing.
I am also unable to get into vehicles without having a massive panic attack and the funeral is an hour drive away. I have been told that if I do not go I will have a "bad time"
The last time I got into a car I had a massive panic attack infront of my mom and had to get out of the car and walk home, upon getting home my mom said it was a very "clever" show to get them to believe my lies. This was 2 years ago.
I cannot imagine being out of the house for even 20 minutes let alone 5-6 hours and I can't even get into a car anyways. I've been having constant panic attacks thinking about all of this.
No words of encouragement will change the way my body reacts to all of the aforementioned stuff nor will it change the way my family thinks, so I will more than likely be homeless and dead within the next week, this post is really just to vent.
I don't understand why all this has to happen to me, how for the last 2 years I have been unable to live a normal life help my family financially or earn my families love again and this happens and all I can think about is myself. I feel like a disgusting piece of human trash and I'm even too scared to just kill myself. I don't know what to do and I have noone to talk to and writing this is making me have a panic attack so lets just end it here.
Thanks for reading I guess.