EMMA
01-01-07, 14:16
Hi Everybody.
First of all Happy New Year to you all.
I've not been on the site for sometime now, mainly due to the fact that I have been feeling well and keeping busy. Things have been fine until about a week ago when I had a panic attack and even though I know I have come out the other side so many times I still can't reason with myself. I was so looking forward to the Christmas break but all it has done is bring on my anxiety because I've had too much time to mull over things.
I have been trying to work out why it is happening again. This last year has been a bit of a rollercoaster ride to be honest. Firstly I met somebody new and left my husband. I'm going through a divorce at the moment. I moved to a different part of the country, got a new job. All was fine and I was really happy. I then got pregnant but I miscarried after 8 weeks. That was an upsetting time for us both because we really wanted the baby. I found out I was pregnant again but miscarried again. When I found out I was pregnant the first time I was on meds but had to come off them almost cold turkey.
I've no reason to feel anxious and panicky as I am with a wonderful man. We have a lovely home and I have a good job and we have a good life. I've spent the last few days trying to tell myself this. The only reason I can think is that even though I have eventually found happiness it has been a rollercoaster ride to get to this point. A combination of everything that has happened and also having to come off the meds. I think I am also anxious because I know that I can't go back on the meds because we are trying for a baby. I know there are other ways to control anxiety but I always feel that the meds are there as backup. But I can't use that backup.
I'm sorry for waffling on.......just needed to let it all out I think. I've been lying in bed today feeling sorry for myself. I drank too much lastnight too and I know that alcohol is a big "NO" for anxiety.
I'm getting myself worked up about going back to work tomorrow thinking that I won't be able to cope and that I will freak out.
Hopefully this is just another blip and I will feel better soon :)
Thanks for listening to me rabbit on.
Emma
First of all Happy New Year to you all.
I've not been on the site for sometime now, mainly due to the fact that I have been feeling well and keeping busy. Things have been fine until about a week ago when I had a panic attack and even though I know I have come out the other side so many times I still can't reason with myself. I was so looking forward to the Christmas break but all it has done is bring on my anxiety because I've had too much time to mull over things.
I have been trying to work out why it is happening again. This last year has been a bit of a rollercoaster ride to be honest. Firstly I met somebody new and left my husband. I'm going through a divorce at the moment. I moved to a different part of the country, got a new job. All was fine and I was really happy. I then got pregnant but I miscarried after 8 weeks. That was an upsetting time for us both because we really wanted the baby. I found out I was pregnant again but miscarried again. When I found out I was pregnant the first time I was on meds but had to come off them almost cold turkey.
I've no reason to feel anxious and panicky as I am with a wonderful man. We have a lovely home and I have a good job and we have a good life. I've spent the last few days trying to tell myself this. The only reason I can think is that even though I have eventually found happiness it has been a rollercoaster ride to get to this point. A combination of everything that has happened and also having to come off the meds. I think I am also anxious because I know that I can't go back on the meds because we are trying for a baby. I know there are other ways to control anxiety but I always feel that the meds are there as backup. But I can't use that backup.
I'm sorry for waffling on.......just needed to let it all out I think. I've been lying in bed today feeling sorry for myself. I drank too much lastnight too and I know that alcohol is a big "NO" for anxiety.
I'm getting myself worked up about going back to work tomorrow thinking that I won't be able to cope and that I will freak out.
Hopefully this is just another blip and I will feel better soon :)
Thanks for listening to me rabbit on.
Emma