Hello

[EMMA]

Hi Everybody.

First of all Happy New Year to you all.

I've not been on the site for sometime now, mainly due to the fact that I have been feeling well and keeping busy. Things have been fine until about a week ago when I had a panic attack and even though I know I have come out the other side so many times I still can't reason with myself. I was so looking forward to the Christmas break but all it has done is bring on my anxiety because I've had too much time to mull over things.

I have been trying to work out why it is happening again. This last year has been a bit of a rollercoaster ride to be honest. Firstly I met somebody new and left my husband. I'm going through a divorce at the moment. I moved to a different part of the country, got a new job. All was fine and I was really happy. I then got pregnant but I miscarried after 8 weeks. That was an upsetting time for us both because we really wanted the baby. I found out I was pregnant again but miscarried again. When I found out I was pregnant the first time I was on meds but had to come off them almost cold turkey.

I've no reason to feel anxious and panicky as I am with a wonderful man. We have a lovely home and I have a good job and we have a good life. I've spent the last few days trying to tell myself this. The only reason I can think is that even though I have eventually found happiness it has been a rollercoaster ride to get to this point. A combination of everything that has happened and also having to come off the meds. I think I am also anxious because I know that I can't go back on the meds because we are trying for a baby. I know there are other ways to control anxiety but I always feel that the meds are there as backup. But I can't use that backup.

I'm sorry for waffling on.......just needed to let it all out I think. I've been lying in bed today feeling sorry for myself. I drank too much lastnight too and I know that alcohol is a big "NO" for anxiety.

I'm getting myself worked up about going back to work tomorrow thinking that I won't be able to cope and that I will freak out.

Hopefully this is just another blip and I will feel better soon :)

Thanks for listening to me rabbit on.

Emma

[ConfusedByLife]

lol. Feel free to rabbit on.
Sounds to me like you've had a busy year Emma. New man, new job and pregnancy troubles (sorry to hear that). It's no surprise you may get anxiety creeping up from u from time to time, sometimes whenu least expect it. U sound pretty level headed and philosophical about ur situation so im sure you will be fine soon. Sometimes we just need re-assurance from others that that's all it is- a blip. I don't think anxiety will ever go away for ppl like us but we can learn to cope better. Good luck with making a baby, don't wear ur guy out too much, lol (PS. although being without meds is scary in the short term. In the long term you will be glad as it will probly show u u can cope without them)

[fishman65]

Hi Emma,sorry to hear you're not feeling too good.Xmas always sets my anxiety off too,plus the expectation to drink alcohol at new year's eve.Booze is a big no-no for me too and only increases my anxiety so I know exactly where you're coming from.As to why this is happening to you now,it could well be a reaction to all you have been through in recent months combined with the stress of xmas and new year.Unfortunately events can come together and press all the anxiety buttons that set us off on to a spiral of negative thoughts and emotions.I'm absolutely positive that once this xmas period is over you will settle back into a normal routine.Easy for me to say I know,I wish I could convince myself?? lol.Oh and well done for battling on with no meds!!I really don't think I could do that so give yourself a great big pat on the back :) Take care now and I hope your anxiety settles soon,

Fishman

[EMMA]

Thank you for your re-assuring reply. Hopefully it is a blip.

I know deep down what causes my anxiety and I know it will always try and rear it's ugly head from time to time when things get a bit stressful.

I'll try not to wear my man out, he he!

[EMMA]

Thanks Fishman.

I always find that routine keeps my anxiety at bay. It's silly how a week off work becomes a chore rather than a holiday!

I hope things settle down for you too in the New Year.

[matt1981]

Hiya! and welcome theres all sorts of people on here with different anxieties theres many people just like you welcom and take care

matt xx

[kittykat]

Hi there ,

Welcome to the site you'll find it a great support to get you through any difficult times you face .

Take care

shirley xx