Bobb
27-10-14, 07:49
Hi, I wasn't sure where to put this thread. I'm in need of some advice regarding anxiety and paranoia that have become an issue for me over the last few weeks. Six weeks ago I had a very small flea infestation in my house. The timing was bad, as I had started some medication some months before that had resulted in social anxiety and paranoia (known side effects of this medication). I decided to continue with the medication as I was seeing improvements in other areas of my health. I got pest control in to fumigate the house immediately and set about doing the necessary washing, cleaning, hoovering required to get on top of the problem. Even though there was no reason to think it hadn't worked (fumigation was a little extreme for the size of the problem), I couldn't get the thought that the house hadn't been sufficiently treated out of my head and so began a pattern of obsessive cleaning/worry. A few weeks later I contacted pest control for advice, as I was convinced that the problem hadn't been resolved. The man was very kind and despite reassuring me that even if he'd missed a spot the chemicals would still be effective on any newly hatched eggs (and last six to seven weeks), he very kindly redid some areas of the house for my peace of mind. This didn't put my mind at ease as I'd hoped and the cleaning regime continued. Fast forward to today.
Me and my children have come to stay a few nights at a friends house,* something that had been organised months ago. I was unsure whether we should have visited due to constant thoughts of spreading 'the problem' to my friends house. I would have cancelled if it was just me, but this was my children's holiday for the year and something that they had been looking forward to, particularly as we were meant to visit in the summer but couldn't go because I had messed up our passports. It's been a tough year for them and the last thing they needed was to have their holiday cancelled because of my inability to rationalise thoughts. My friend was aware of the initial flea problem, but didn't know the extent of my anxiety about it until recently. This was a secret I'd hidden from everyone.
We've been here a few days and I was doing really well. The concerns were there, but I was able to keep the thoughts in check. However, a few nights ago I had a nightmare where about the fleas in her house and woke up in tears. I tried hard to rationalise the thoughts, but lost it yesterday. Went into hyper cleaning mode, washing bedding and clothes, hoovering, wiping etc the room we are staying in. My children just rolled their eyes, they've become used to seeing this erratic behaviour. My friend, well she just let me get on with it after I explained how my anxiety and paranoia had developed. Her husband (first time I'd met him), well god knows what he thinks about it all. I can't continue like this. The last few weeks have felt like hell and although I'm a natural worrier, these obbsessive thoughts and behaviour is very out of character for me. I'm sitting here again doing my best to rationalise the thoughts, but I have this overwhelming feeling of dread that I've infected and spoilt my friends house. That her children are going to get sick from flea bites. That her and her husband are going to fall out over it all and that I'll be responsible for destroying her and her families life. I don't know what to. Please help...
Me and my children have come to stay a few nights at a friends house,* something that had been organised months ago. I was unsure whether we should have visited due to constant thoughts of spreading 'the problem' to my friends house. I would have cancelled if it was just me, but this was my children's holiday for the year and something that they had been looking forward to, particularly as we were meant to visit in the summer but couldn't go because I had messed up our passports. It's been a tough year for them and the last thing they needed was to have their holiday cancelled because of my inability to rationalise thoughts. My friend was aware of the initial flea problem, but didn't know the extent of my anxiety about it until recently. This was a secret I'd hidden from everyone.
We've been here a few days and I was doing really well. The concerns were there, but I was able to keep the thoughts in check. However, a few nights ago I had a nightmare where about the fleas in her house and woke up in tears. I tried hard to rationalise the thoughts, but lost it yesterday. Went into hyper cleaning mode, washing bedding and clothes, hoovering, wiping etc the room we are staying in. My children just rolled their eyes, they've become used to seeing this erratic behaviour. My friend, well she just let me get on with it after I explained how my anxiety and paranoia had developed. Her husband (first time I'd met him), well god knows what he thinks about it all. I can't continue like this. The last few weeks have felt like hell and although I'm a natural worrier, these obbsessive thoughts and behaviour is very out of character for me. I'm sitting here again doing my best to rationalise the thoughts, but I have this overwhelming feeling of dread that I've infected and spoilt my friends house. That her children are going to get sick from flea bites. That her and her husband are going to fall out over it all and that I'll be responsible for destroying her and her families life. I don't know what to. Please help...