Don't know if I can make it ......

[Chopper]

Came back to work today after a disappointing Xmas (supposed to fly to Edinburgh but was fogbound in Norwich and had to return home with the wife and kids to an empty house with nothing in the fridge/larder and £100 lighter due to the taxi fares to/from the airport[V]) and it's dark, wet and cold.[V]

I don't think I can make it through to Spring without, as my Granny would say, "taking to [my] bed" for a prolonged spell.

Sorry to whinge but I feel really low...........

Happiness and light to you all,
'Chopper'



I saw her once, one little while, and then no more:
’Twas Eden’s light on Earth a while, and then no more.
Amid the throng she passed along the meadow-floor:
Spring seemed to smile on Earth awhile, and then no more;
But whence she came, which way she went, what garb she wore
I noted not; I gazed a while, and then no more!

James Clarence Mangan 1803 - 1849

[shoegal]

Hi. Sorry to hear you are feeling so low. We all feel like this at times so you are not alone. Do you suffer from Seasonal Affective Disorder? Just a thought as you say you don't feel like you can make it until Spring. It might be worth seeing your Doctor as SAD is a recognised condition that can be treated. You can even get special lamps which help you to get more 'natural' light.

Hope you feel better soon.

Love shoegal xxx

[LockedShut]

Oh, honey, I so hate the post-christmas let down. I do feel for you. If I didn't have my one truly brilliant friend I'd already have taken to my bed.

My thoughts are with you, chick. It's a struggle, I know, but keep going hour to hour...
xo

[wendy]

Hi There,

Sorry bout your hol problems, I think Jan is generally a depressing time of year, Could you seek compensation for your taxi fares from the airline and are they allowing you to transfer your flights? If so why not book again and give yourself something to look forward too, maybe have a google and find some nice places you and your family could visit or arrange a day out or do something at home to cheer you up, I have taken to my bed a lot of xmas due to high levels of anxiety and am finding it very hard to get going again - seriously dont wanna go there! so stick at it and spring will soon be here!

[Chopper]

Thanks for your support Shoegal. I've been diagnosed as unipolar (I get really aggitated and anxious) and my 'episodes' do tend to coincide with the onset of winter.

I use a Lumie Brightspark lamp (it's on in front of me now) but have been using it increasingly since the clocks went back in an attempt to regulate my sleep patterns.

With 40mg of Citalopram a day and, now, about 4 hours of light therapy my condition was, just, about under control. But I'm flagging today ... maybe it's just the return to work, maybe I'm just feeling generally unwell today, maybe, maybe, maybe ..... I just don't know. I feel physically sick, trembling, sweating and emotional.

I want to go home and hibernate!

Happiness and light to all,
'Chopper'

I saw her once, one little while, and then no more:
’Twas Eden’s light on Earth a while, and then no more.
Amid the throng she passed along the meadow-floor:
Spring seemed to smile on Earth awhile, and then no more;
But whence she came, which way she went, what garb she wore
I noted not; I gazed a while, and then no more!

James Clarence Mangan 1803 - 1849

[groovygranny]

What a rotten thing to happen.......and to someone who is always ready to cheer up and support others on NMP.

Hope we can do the same for you now Chopper,

And I hope things improve greatly for you soon

"James Russell Lowell:
Mishaps are like knives, that either serve us or cut us, as we grasp them by the blade or the handle."

I think you may be the type to grasp them by the handle Chopper :)

Take care

GG [:P]

xx

'There are no such things as strangers; just friends we haven't made yet!'

[LickeyEndBlues]

Hey Chopper.........what a bummer!!! I was thinking about you supping 80/- in the "Diggers" many times over the last couple of weeks!!!!!

In some way you need to find a way of putting something in your diary to help you look forward. The Crimbo trip is long gone now and you were so looking forward to that!!

Should you end up "taking to your bed" then take some time out and do something positive and proactive. Just because you can't function at work doesn't mean you have to stay in bed.

Happy to chat/pm/msn

Iain

"lang may yer lumb reek"

What's so funny about peace, love and understanding?

[chillx]

Hi

So sorry to hear your plans for Christmas were spoiled. This is a difficult time of year but you will get through it. I agree with Wendy put a date in your diary, then you will have something to plan and look forward to.

By the way the weather in Scotland has been fowl. Hogmanay parties in Edinburgh, Glasgow and Stirling were cancelled. The last 2 days there has been no day light. Our house lights were on all day.

Keep your chin up.

chillx

[Chopper]

Nightmare!

Tuesday afternoon, just after my last post (02 January 2007 : 10:50:44) I went for a lap of the building. Felt like sh***, came back to my desk 'till lunchtime then took my camera for a wander. I felt terrible, really sick, then actually was. Made my way back to work almost stumbling back, and when I got to my desk I thought I was going to faint. I came over all dizzy, panicking, trembling, sweating .... the works!

My colleagues realised I was having a 'turn' and called my missus who imediately came to collect me. For 'Health and Safety' reasons, they wheeled me to our car in a wheelchair!! Imagine the look on her face when she saw me?

Anyway, to cut a long tale shorter than I might normally, I had a really bad night on Tuesday and spent yesterday under the Duvet. I shaved and showered last night and this morning and have made it into work ....... so far. I think I'll talk to HR and see if I can work 'till lunchtime today and tomorrrow. Roll on the weekend.

I really can't see me making it to spring.[V]

Happiness and light to you all,
'Chopper'

I saw her once, one little while, and then no more:
’Twas Eden’s light on Earth a while, and then no more.
Amid the throng she passed along the meadow-floor:
Spring seemed to smile on Earth awhile, and then no more;
But whence she came, which way she went, what garb she wore
I noted not; I gazed a while, and then no more!

James Clarence Mangan 1803 - 1849

[Southern_Belle]

Hi Chopper,

So sorry to hear of this news. Perhaps you need different meds during this time of year although it can be very difficult to change them it might be a thing to consider. I know you will be able to make it until spring, think of all you have to look forward to. Do you have any plants in the house? That helps me alot. Hoping you feel better today.

Bel

"Our thoughts are our reality"

[W.I.F.T.S.]

I can sincerely imagine how terrible you feel and I know it's awful, but your story gave me an involuntary urge to laugh. I imagine your mishaps as scenes from 'Only Fools and Horses'. They call laughing at other people's misfortunes schadenfreude and it is the principle of slapstick humour. I know that it's really hard, but just try and see the funny side, don't take it quite so seriously...the world isn't out to get you. It does make sooooo much difference. Did you see the fear of flying programme recently? The participants were hysterical about being about 10ft off the ground in a crane and, even though I suffer from severe generalised anxiety, I was like most people in thinking "what are they flapping about?". It would certainly be very different if I was in their shoes, I know.

Did you have to summon up the courage to fly to Edinburgh? I certainly couldn't fly or go that far away from home at the minute. So, well done for that. I would love to go to edinburgh for new year one time, so I can imagine your disappointment. My own new year was one of the most boring ever by the way.

Seriously though, I got to the point with my old job where I was having panic attacks everyday about going there, so much so that I just didn't want to go. In the end I spoke to the personnel woman and they were fairly understanding, but the basic problem was that i hated the job and I just needed to get out- I'd been trying to hang on until something better came along, but months were turning into years. It was a huge gamble but, in the end, I just quit and it has actually paid off as I'm starting a great new job shortly. Maybe I made my own luck by having the courage to leave my old job.

Personally, I found that there were situations: work, relationship, family, money that I really wasn't happy about. While they persisted I wasn't going to get better. Are there any situations or circumstances in your life that are troubling you?

I can relate to your feelings about this time of year. One thing to remember is that we are now getting two minutes extra daylight per day!! Apart from the cold and grey skies, I don't mind january too much because it's like a fresh start. I feel like a lot of it is psychological and to do with the associations that you have with the rain and cold. Like Wendy said, could you transfer your flight and get a winter sun break?

You seem like a nice guy Chopper and you are definitely making the effort by arranging to go away, taking your medication and using a lightbox. I'm sure that your efforts will pay off.

All the best Rodney...I mean Chopper!! Lol

Ships in harbour are safe..but that's not what ships were built for.

[Chopper]

Thanks for your posts friends,

I got some invaluable duvet time this weekend but decided not to watch my son in a major cup-tie just in case I had another 'episode'.

Typically, when I wasn't at the match he was outstanding .... and got sent off! Chip off the old block!! I blame his mum!!!;)

Back to work this morning but not feeling too good. Very trembly and 'on edge'.

I've an appointment with my GP tonight and I'll tell her about what happened last week. I'm going to stick to 40mg of Citalopram and my lightbox until the spring, at least, but I just hope the dosage is enough as the side effects are really getting me down and the thought of increasing the meds is not one I want to explore!

Happiness and light to all,
'Chopper'

I saw her once, one little while, and then no more:
’Twas Eden’s light on Earth a while, and then no more.
Amid the throng she passed along the meadow-floor:
Spring seemed to smile on Earth awhile, and then no more;
But whence she came, which way she went, what garb she wore
I noted not; I gazed a while, and then no more!

James Clarence Mangan 1803 - 1849

[groovygranny]

Hi Chopper! Seems you're being tossed about on very rough seas at the mo [V], but............you're still afloat yes:)?

Hope all goes well at the docs......please don't rule out the poss of increasing your dose...it wasn't until my doc put me on 60mg daily almost from the word go that I began to feel better, even though I felt a worse at first !

Nothing more to say really except that I apologise if the following is a little too 'twee' for a gigantuan tatooed scotsman!! Praps I should have sent a PM instead lol !! Ah, well here goes..........

We wouldn't enjoy the sunshine
If we never had the rain.
We wouldn't appreciate good health
If we never experienced pain.

If we never shed a teardrop
And always wore a smile,
We'd all get tired of laughing
After we had grinned awhile.

Everything is by comparison ...
Both the bitter and the sweet,
And it takes a bit of both of them
To make our lives complete.

~ Helen Steiner Rice ~

lotsa luv

GG [:P]

xx

'There are no such things as strangers; just friends we haven't made yet!'

[Chopper]

Thanks GG:D,

Rough as I look (am![}:)]), it surprises a lot of people to find I'm keen on poetry. I'm an avid fan of James Clarence Mangan the 19th century Irish wordsmith and also Hugh McDiarmid who was the greatest living Scots poet ..... until he died, then he came second to Rabbie Burns!!

I like the sentiments in the poem, you've brightened up an otherwise dark, dismal, dour start to my week. I really appreciate it and will explore more of Helen Steiner Rice's work.

Happiness and light to all,
'Chopper'

I saw her once, one little while, and then no more:
’Twas Eden’s light on Earth a while, and then no more.
Amid the throng she passed along the meadow-floor:
Spring seemed to smile on Earth awhile, and then no more;
But whence she came, which way she went, what garb she wore
I noted not; I gazed a while, and then no more!

James Clarence Mangan 1803 - 1849

[chucklehound]

Hi, so sorry you are feeling so low at the moment and I hope that things pick up for you real soon.


Take care

Chuckle

xxxx

[groovygranny]

You're welcome Chopper! :)

Quite a bit of her stuff is very 'sugary' but now and again something just 'presses all the buttons' !!

Hope the doc's went ok tonight.

Take care

lotsa luv

GG [:P]

xx



'There are no such things as strangers; just friends we haven't made yet!'

[Chopper]

Morning Friends,

I had a rough week last week and went down with the flu on Friday. I've been under a duvet in bed or a blanket on the sofa from about 17:00 on Friday until 06:30 this morning ...... and guess what, the few days 'downtime' has worked wonders!:D

When I woke yesterday I said to my missus "I feel really calm this morning, REALLY calm!" The day was very easy, covered in Vicks Vaporub, sipping Lemsip, watching snooker, reading Hannibal Rising and every now and then she'd ask, "how're you feeling?" to which I replied "fluey but relaxed, no anxiety at all!":D:D

I amn't trembling, sweating, grinding my teeth, picking my spots, jumpy, nauseous, faint, dizzy or any of the other symptoms I've had during this 'episode'. I just hope that this isn't a 'positive blip' and I can maintain my progress.

The weather is terrible outside, but I've got my lightbox on and feel, well, more like the old me.:)

I spoke to my boss and told him how I feel and he was amazed as he feared the worst when he saw me last week, what a mess I was (my words not his!).

I've been so good the last couple of days that I've tried a bit of facial topiary and think I look quite dashing in a Sean Connery submarine commander type of way, neatly trimmed gray beard around the jaw-line![8D]

Could this be the breakthrough? Oh, please let it be, please. I was really concerned over the last few weeks that I would't make it but now I feel positive about my recovery and am threatening to resume my football coaching roles this weekend - to hell with the weather!

You'll be able to tell I'm much more upbeat than recently and I am, I can look at myself in the mirror again and genuinely feel that the med's, lightbox, diet and support systems are all working at last.[^]:D[:P]

Long may it continue!

Happiness and light to all,
'Chopper'



I saw her once, one little while, and then no more:
’Twas Eden’s light on Earth a while, and then no more.
Amid the throng she passed along the meadow-floor:
Spring seemed to smile on Earth awhile, and then no more;
But whence she came, which way she went, what garb she wore
I noted not; I gazed a while, and then no more!

James Clarence Mangan 1803 - 1849

[groovygranny]

:D[8D]:D[8D]:D

Huuuuuge Granny Hug for you Chopper!

((((((((((((((((((((((((([:P]))))))))))))))))))))

even if it means getting your 'bugs' and 'razor rash' lol !! After all we share everything on NMP !!

So glad you are feeling better !!

lotsa luv

GG [:P]

xx

'There are no such things as strangers; just friends we haven't made yet!'