Please help..

[Tortugarino]

First and foremost, I am 14 years old(turning 15 on Nov.11th) Around Sep 27~ I had my first panic attack. I thought I was having a heart attack. For about a week or so, everyday at school was constant thoughts about having heart problems. I went to the ER and they did an EKG of my heart and told me it looked fantastic. This didn't convince me(for some odd reason) and I still thought I was just going to have a heart attack. So, I went to my doctors and he prescribed me anti-anxiety/anti-depressant medicine(Zoloft) and it must have brought out some other symptoms. Now, I get obsessive existential thoughts of scary things(Solipsism,going crazy). A few days ago, I felt detached/distant from reality, but not to the point where I was scared. Other thoughts like solipsism have been easy to rationalize with myself. The thought of becoming schizophrenic? I don't know how to explain it,but nothing helps. Today I woke up just feeling the most distant from reality I have ever felt. On my way to school, I was scared of looking outside because I would have hallucinations, I try to always listen to music or watch videos with my headphones on because I'm scared of hearing voices. I read something about someone with Schizophrenia being scared someone is out to kill them, and I'm scared that I'll convince myself into thinking that as well. It's making me miserable! Life was so much easier without anxiety... Anyways, I'm going to start seeing a psychiatrist soon. If my godfather or sister are talking in another room, I get scared and ask myself"what if I'm hearing voices?" Please, can anyone help me..:weep:

[Oosh]

Good news. You dont have nor are you going to get schizophrenia :)

Do you know how many times ive heard that fear from anxious people ? Its most anxious peoples fear, including myself. If its not fear of that its just general fear of insanity and losing control.

It all just points to you suffering from anxiety and panic at the moment. Dont worry yourself about the other stuff, you suffering from anxiety/panic at the moment is the only thing that is true. Keep remembering it and feeling that relief that the thing you fear, isnt true.
Know they arent true and then recognise the appearance of the thoughts as simply fears. So if theyre only irrational fears you know that its ok to just switch and think about something else.

They will keep trying to take over your focus whilst the anxiety is there but it is possible to keep putting your focus back on to constructive, enjoyable or interesting things.

The only reason you`d keep letting them in is if a part of you believed they were true. Know that theyre not true. They are very very common fears and a sign of anxiety only.

A lot of anxieties are valid.
What if i dont pass these exams ?
What am i going to do with my future ?

They point out dangers. Its fine to focus on these in a constructive way where you are looking for the solution.
That way when you think of the anxiety next time you remember the solution and that lowers the anxiety.

Other than that do your very best to keep your mind on your enjoyments, interests, being productive each day.

Anxious thinking is like a trap. You entertain these fears trying to solve them but all youre doing is continuing to think anxiously. Being free of it is about NOT thinking about the anxieties, spending as long as you can without remembering the anxieties and working your way back to a non-anxious style of thinking.

Think about
partners
school
holidays
interests
what if i have schizophrenia ?
i dont. i have anxiety. phew
movies.
things that make you laugh.
making people laugh.
liking people.
them liking you.
a new gadget.
stuff happening on other side of the world.
your goals
learning a hobby
getting good at a sport
keeping fit
enjoying new music.

Keep your mind on these things and your mood will follow over time.
Dont let those fears into your thinking anymore. Youre fine.
Stamp on them before they can even complete.

what if i...SHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH, what am i doing tonight, whats on telly, im getting that new thing next week (mood boost), i might go for a run and listen to that new music, ive got that family thing soon what will i wear, etc etc etc

Dont find out anything more about that thing you fear. Muddle everything you know about it. Make fun of it. Make yourself laugh. Feed yourself lots of disinformation on it. Just ruin everything you thought you knew about it.

Id also make sure you get right back to your doctor and tell him about how youve been feeling on that medication. Youre right, they can sometimes add a lot of other unpleasant symptoms, especially in the beginning. Give it some time if you like, but if you continue to feel odd on them get off them or change. Theyre supposed to make you feel better, if theyre not, waste no time in stopping or changing them. You dont want them adding to your problems.

[expecto patronum]

Hi Tortugarino, have you read Dr Claire Weeke's books? Google her or look them up on Amazon, I think they would help reassure you that you're not going crazy and give you some helpful tips.