I want to be liked why don't people like me what's wrong with me

[scaredgirl86]

I really am tired of people i felt so good about myself the other day and i go out the day after and people give me this nasty looks. I also have guys who look at me in a threatening way and want to start crap with me and i just don't know what to do all i want to do is punch people in their stupid faces.Who do they think they are that they could treat me like this. What is it about me that makes them think they could treat me this way i don't deserve this bad treatment i deserve to be treated with respect and i'm so pissed off i really need advice

[Oosh]

Don't look and you won't see ! :)

Stop looking at everyone's face for evidence that they don't like you or have a problem with you. Pretend you're an actor. Play the role of someone who is oblivious and engrossed in something.

With you then not actually looking at people's faces pretend everyone's smiling at you because they look at you and like you and think you'd make a good friend.

If you look for this and expect it I think you'll start to see it.

No matter how much you are tempted don't look at people's faces !

[MrFriday]

I would avoid looking at other people. Listen to some music when you are going outside. That helps me.

[Brunette]

If you're carrying these thoughts around in your head all the time has it struck you that you might be presenting a hostile appearance to other people?

It cuts both ways you know?

[scaredgirl86]

thank you for replies, i walked into a restaurant the other day and there was a girl working behind the counter and she was just staring with this look on her face and it ruined my time there were tons of people in there why do i stand out and have to be looked down upon

[Tessar]

thank you for replies, i walked into a restaurant the other day and there was a girl working behind the counter and she was just staring with this look on her face and it ruined my time there were tons of people in there why do i stand out and have to be looked down upon

For things to improve, scaredgirl, you will need to work on the reality of the situation. In reality, just because someone has a certain look does not mean you know what they are thinking.
Equally, you mention people giving you dirty looks, but do you not experience people who might smile?
I often walk passed people in the street who I may smile at. Often they smile back. Sometimes not. If they don't smile I do not automatically assume the person is angry at me, hates or dislikes me. I usually wonder if perhaps they re distracted. Maybe they didnt even notice me smile at them because indeed they are distracted.
I did make some suggestions on your other thread, scaredgirl. I wonder, were they helpful?

'Sensing' someone dislikes you does not make it a fact.
Thoughts do not equate to evidence.

It is so easy to get into a downward spiral. People's past negative experiences lead them to have negative expectations. Once you start to anticipate negative outcomes, they seem to happen more and more. each time something bad happens, it reinforces the person's 'belief' that people are thinking badly of them, dislike the, etc. If this goes on for long enough, really the person really will start to feel like these 'beliefs' are in fact true.

i have been close to where you are at. i cannot of course put myself entirely in your shoes but i really do empathise with you and relate to your issues. I remember working on these issues with my therapist. The work I did to help me break the negative thoughts went something like this.

Even though you may deeply 'believe' the way people look means they dislike or disapprove of you, your belief is not factual.
If you find yourself in a situation where you are sensing someone dislikes you or is giving you a disapproving look, ask yourself what evidence do you have?
By evidence I mean something substantial. Not a thought or feeling.
Have they said they do not like you? Because unless they do, you cannot know for sure. Your mind has been conditioned to automatically assume people are focused on you and that they do not like you.
But in actual fact .... If you look at it more closely, there will not be firm evidence of supporting this viewpoint.
It is so easy to get into a negative thought cycle but very difficult to kick the habit. To stop the negative thoughts you will need to challenge them.
It would be interesting to hear your thoughts, scaredgirl?
Trusting my reflections may prove helpful.....