How did your anxiety etc start?

[MissLady83]

Hello everyone

Just interested in knowing how people's anxieties started?
What's the best way you deal with it?

Mine has started from 2003 when my dad committed suicide. It was a very traumatic time. He was in and out of hospital as he started cutting himself and taking overdoses. His house was covered in blood and he wrote my name in it saying sorry.. pretty scary stuff. Bless him.

He ended up throwing himself off a car park and things are a blur of stress and me almost going beyond breaking point myself trying to deal with the trauma of everything.

I keep having relapses of depression and not being able to cope with things as I usually would.. my coping strategy is laughter and surrounding myself with amazing family and friends.

I find this site a good form of release too as I can talk about things I wouldn't feel comfortable saying to people I know.

Life.. gotta keep plodding on and trying to keep sane eh ha :)

[gregcool]

Hi misslady,thats a very sad story so sad,i can understand why you suffer mental health,for me my depression anxiety and phobias all started about 10 years ago when i good friend of mine beat me up one day in front of my family and friends and then said to me,because of you im going to kill myself,he then went into his flat there and then and hung himself,i was in so much shock,being beaten up was bad enough but him then saying he was going to kill himself and doing it there and then.the police all turned up and ambulance,but he was dead,hung himself with a play station cable,worse point in my life ever,i developed mental health isues instantly,and have suffered ever since

[Beckie4567]

Hi miss lady mine stated aft I had my daughter 8 years ago always had the fear of leaving my kids :( I also have another son now which makes my anxiety a lot worse :( x

[Dingle]

Greg
That's such a terribly sad story
It's good that you keep going mate you seem to get a lot of support on here
All the best pal and keep battling you will get through it

[MissLady83]

Greg that's shocking. Traumatic events like that are a battle to get over. But it's the good days we've gotta embrace. I'm feeling super anxious since starting this new medication. Hoping it will ease, just holding a conversation and looking people in the eye can be a mission at times.. bizarre but true.

Beckie that's always been a worry for me, if I have children and all the hormone change's.. It making me worse.

[ohwell123]

I was a fit healthy 26 year old and a nurse took my bp it was 140 over 90 she pulled a face ill never forget and commented oh god that's not good little did I know there was nothing wrong with that reading esp under the circumstances

I then made the huge mistake of buying a bp machine and sat there at home with ocd checking it 30 times a night until I got a good reading then I put it away

then one night this thought popped into my head to kill my daughter instead of dismissing it it plagued me and spread like wild fire to carry out violent acts on everyone and everything I loved but then as the fear built I actually started to get the urge to carry out the acts which made me even sicker apparently its my body telling me to get away from the scenario but it sure as hell didn't feel like it its called pure O as theres no compulsion otherwise it would be disastrous and as theres no compulsion you don't answer it so it auto loops all day every day

how depressing considering all ive ever tried is to be good to people lol

[MissLady83]

Oh well 12 thanks for your post. That must be so tiring for you. My younger sister has ocd but due to the brain damage and autism it's very hard for her to express herself and how it makes her feel.

What do you find helps you to distract your mind? Do you take medications or ever tried cbt?

[ohwell123]

hi yes i never even thought i had bad ocd till that happened i used to go back and check door locks etc but it never interfered with my life then it just spread like a virus unbelievable it was

the only way you can cure the ocd is to go through the phase of ignoring the compulsion no matter what but again and sorry to sound depressing the ocd will just create a new habit that before prob seemed ludicrous

i am on a beta blocker and imipramine as i mainly just have gad now hope you and your sister find the help you need

olanzapine i remember cured everything as it just makes you think about eating lol so i piled on the pounds lmao

[HollieeB]

such heart breaking stories, so amazing you all keep on going.

Mine started as a child when my mum re married to a not very nice man, they would constantly argue and shout at each other, then if my mum went out he would tell me my mum prefers my sister, im not her favorite, my mums a bad parent, they argue because of me etc!! I was 9 years old and became very paranoid, would say to myself if i dont go and move that book they would argue again.

then my mum developed mental health problems and had a break down when I was 13. when I was 15 I started getting bullied at school, my step dad moved out, but they were sill together, still arguing, still 'getting a divorce' then 2 days later back together again. when I was 16 I was doing my GCSE's, still being bullied, cried all the time, cried myself to sleep, didnt want to wake up. started college, lasted 3 days before I broke down and had my first panic attack (that was 3 years ago now!)

[chickpea]

I think I've always been an anxious person. I was a very shy, sensitive child and I can remember constantly asking my mother if she loved me, or if she only loved me because she had to.
My dad suffered depression and I think was bipolar and he had a total breakdown after he retired, to the point where he didn't leave his bedroom for days on end. Eventually, he was admitted to hospital and looking back, I now realise he was suffering extreme anxiety and panic. His own mother had tried to gas herself in the oven while going through the menopause.

In my 20's, I was in an abusive relationship with someone who drank and did drugs. I ended up on anti depressants and had a brief spell of panic attacks.

I married my husband and had 2 children, and suffered PND after my first child was born but didn't get any help.
Then, 7 years ago, I was carjacked at knifepoint. It was very traumatic - I had to deal with the police and court system etc, as well as the stress of what had happened to me. 5 months later, my dad was admitted to hospital with acute pancreatitis and spent 6 months in ICU before having his machines switched off.

9 months later, I started to feel unwell. Unbeknownst to me, I had Crohn's but my GP insisted it was anxiety and put me on Citalopram and I subsequently had what I think was a nervous breakdown - partly because of the side effects of the meds and partly because I was physically very ill but still being told it was all in my head.

[MissLady83]

hi yes i never even thought i had bad ocd till that happened i used to go back and check door locks etc but it never interfered with my life then it just spread like a virus unbelievable it was

the only way you can cure the ocd is to go through the phase of ignoring the compulsion no matter what but again and sorry to sound depressing the ocd will just create a new habit that before prob seemed ludicrous

i am on a beta blocker and imipramine as i mainly just have gad now hope you and your sister find the help you need

olanzapine i remember cured everything as it just makes you think about eating lol so i piled on the pounds lmao


My sister has learning disabilities and a rare condition so she can't express how things make her feel. She does it by getting very frustrated and closing herself in her room. But as a family we are all there to support her. ocd must be an awful feeling but I'm glad you've got a way of dealing with it by being able ignore the compulsions. I always think about eating haha I'm lucky to be trim but I'm aware certain meds can make you pile weight on so I'm doing lots of walking everywhere

---------- Post added 31-10-14 at 00:34 ---------- Previous post was 30-10-14 at 23:31 ----------


such heart breaking stories, so amazing you all keep on going.

Mine started as a child when my mum re married to a not very nice man, they would constantly argue and shout at each other, then if my mum went out he would tell me my mum prefers my sister, im not her favorite, my mums a bad parent, they argue because of me etc!! I was 9 years old and became very paranoid, would say to myself if i dont go and move that book they would argue again.

then my mum developed mental health problems and had a break down when I was 13. when I was 15 I started getting bullied at school, my step dad moved out, but they were sill together, still arguing, still 'getting a divorce' then 2 days later back together again. when I was 16 I was doing my GCSE's, still being bullied, cried all the time, cried myself to sleep, didnt want to wake up. started college, lasted 3 days before I broke down and had my first panic attack (that was 3 years ago now!)

What a nasty minded man saying things like that to an innocent child. Have you been to your doctor and explainded how your feeling? Big hugs

---------- Post added at 00:37 ---------- Previous post was at 00:34 ----------


I think I've always been an anxious person. I was a very shy, sensitive child and I can remember constantly asking my mother if she loved me, or if she only loved me because she had to.
My dad suffered depression and I think was bipolar and he had a total breakdown after he retired, to the point where he didn't leave his bedroom for days on end. Eventually, he was admitted to hospital and looking back, I now realise he was suffering extreme anxiety and panic. His own mother had tried to gas herself in the oven while going through the menopause.

In my 20's, I was in an abusive relationship with someone who drank and did drugs. I ended up on anti depressants and had a brief spell of panic attacks.

I married my husband and had 2 children, and suffered PND after my first child was born but didn't get any help.
Then, 7 years ago, I was carjacked at knifepoint. It was very traumatic - I had to deal with the police and court system etc, as well as the stress of what had happened to me. 5 months later, my dad was admitted to hospital with acute pancreatitis and spent 6 months in ICU before having his machines switched off.

9 months later, I started to feel unwell. Unbeknownst to me, I had Crohn's but my GP insisted it was anxiety and put me on Citalopram and I subsequently had what I think was a nervous breakdown - partly because of the side effects of the meds and partly because I was physically very ill but still being told it was all in my head.

So sorry to hear about all that chick pea. You've been through a lot and very sorry to hear about your dad. My dad is battling acute pancreatitis now and it's a very nasty scary illness. Did they find out what caused your dad's pancreatitis?

[chickpea]

MissLady83 - my dad's severe acute pancreatitis was caused by gall stones.
He had been complaining of pain and being unwell for weeks, but his GP was fairly dismissive because of his history of HA. Eventually, he had a scan that showed his gall bladder was inflamed so they couldn't operate until it improved.
He went out to dinner, had a glass of wine, came home and started vomiting blood. He was taken to hospital and they discovered that gall stones had blocked the tube to his pancreas, so it had started to die.

He was moved to another hospital after a few weeks, into ICU and then isolation because he picked up MRSA. He had operation after operation, and when it eventually became clear he wasn't going to get better, they switched his machines off.
It's 6 years tomorrow since he died.

[toetsie]

when I was 3 I had a massive car accident were I almost saw my mom and brother die infront of my eyes, thank goodness they are alive still, my mom is still damaged from the accident, but after that I lost my 2brothers and I started having sever nightmares where I would try kill everyone in my way, but I got over it but when I was 11 we were high jacked and they almost killed my mom infront of me and they hung me up by my shirt and left me, my nightmares started again but got help with it, when I was 12 my parents had a ugly divorce where I had to be the strongest out of my family, my mom fell into deep anxiety and depression and she still suffers today. my mom and I fought none stop because we were so poor that we landed up on the street for a few months. but she then got work and I moved into boarding school where I had the time of my life, after I matriculated I moved into my own flat and tried studying further, I lived in a different city to my family and nothing went my way, I was in a gang shooting where I was held at gun point and dragged out my car and they made me watch them kill 4 people infront of me and left me with the sight, I was then followed by them for a few weeks after (guess they didn't want me to go to the police) anyway a few days after the shooting my ex BF died of a heart attack on the rugby field and my best gy friend died in a car accident a week after that. I had such bad anxiety attacks that I had to pull out of college and went to hospital for 2weeks for treatment. I then fell inlove with a man suffering the same problem, depression. but we decided to move and start again, but nothing went our way, we both always got fired from jobs due to anxiety attacks at work and we couldn't handle the pressure anymore, we do feed off eachother but we inlove. so yea that's how I started and that's where I am, at the age of 19

[HollieeB]

What a nasty minded man saying things like that to an innocent child. Have you been to your doctor and explainded how your feeling? Big hugs

thankyou. yeah i've been back and forwards to the doctors for the last 3 years, I cant get a job because of my anxiety, am on medication but it doesn't help that much and had therapy etc but it didnt help at all. :(

[gregcool]

miss lady.im just like you in the way i camt talk to people cant look in there eyes and just want to run away

[Magic]

I am sending hugs for everyone on here. I honestly understand.
Someone is slipping away from me. I cannot talk about it.
Very traumatic for all concerned :hugs::hugs::hugs::hugs::hugs::hugs:.
One day at a time xx

[MissLady83]

MissLady83 - my dad's severe acute pancreatitis was caused by gall stones.
He had been complaining of pain and being unwell for weeks, but his GP was fairly dismissive because of his history of HA. Eventually, he had a scan that showed his gall bladder was inflamed so they couldn't operate until it improved.
He went out to dinner, had a glass of wine, came home and started vomiting blood. He was taken to hospital and they discovered that gall stones had blocked the tube to his pancreas, so it had started to die.

He was moved to another hospital after a few weeks, into ICU and then isolation because he picked up MRSA. He had operation after operation, and when it eventually became clear he wasn't going to get better, they switched his machines off.
It's 6 years tomorrow since he died.


I'm so sorry to here that sad story. It's such a nasty thing is pancreatitis and it's heart breaking watching the person you love laid there in pain because they can't do anything until the inflammation has passed. Big hugs to you

---------- Post added at 22:00 ---------- Previous post was at 21:58 ----------


when I was 3 I had a massive car accident were I almost saw my mom and brother die infront of my eyes, thank goodness they are alive still, my mom is still damaged from the accident, but after that I lost my 2brothers and I started having sever nightmares where I would try kill everyone in my way, but I got over it but when I was 11 we were high jacked and they almost killed my mom infront of me and they hung me up by my shirt and left me, my nightmares started again but got help with it, when I was 12 my parents had a ugly divorce where I had to be the strongest out of my family, my mom fell into deep anxiety and depression and she still suffers today. my mom and I fought none stop because we were so poor that we landed up on the street for a few months. but she then got work and I moved into boarding school where I had the time of my life, after I matriculated I moved into my own flat and tried studying further, I lived in a different city to my family and nothing went my way, I was in a gang shooting where I was held at gun point and dragged out my car and they made me watch them kill 4 people infront of me and left me with the sight, I was then followed by them for a few weeks after (guess they didn't want me to go to the police) anyway a few days after the shooting my ex BF died of a heart attack on the rugby field and my best gy friend died in a car accident a week after that. I had such bad anxiety attacks that I had to pull out of college and went to hospital for 2weeks for treatment. I then fell inlove with a man suffering the same problem, depression. but we decided to move and start again, but nothing went our way, we both always got fired from jobs due to anxiety attacks at work and we couldn't handle the pressure anymore, we do feed off eachother but we inlove. so yea that's how I started and that's where I am, at the age of 19

Wow what a lot of things to go through! I really do hope that you can repair the wounds of the past and become a strong person from all you have experienced at such a young age.

---------- Post added at 22:01 ---------- Previous post was at 22:00 ----------


miss lady.im just like you in the way i camt talk to people cant look in there eyes and just want to run away

Isn't it tough greg? Just something as simple as looking in someone's eyes can be such a mission.

---------- Post added at 22:02 ---------- Previous post was at 22:01 ----------


I am sending hugs for everyone on here. I honestly understand.
Someone is slipping away from me. I cannot talk about it.
Very traumatic for all concerned :hugs::hugs::hugs::hugs::hugs::hugs:.
One day at a time xx

Massive hugs to you magic and your right one day at a time xx