View Full Version : Mortified: I've damaged work's car!
I added this latest incident to the end of my thread entitled "feel socially inept at work". However, I can't stop dwelling on it and frankly feel like a totally incompetent idiot.......
Yesterday, I had to move the work car from where our junior had parked it as it was blocking another car in. I've never been a very confident driver, particularly when it comes to parking, as I seem to lack spatial awareness. However, the work car is only a little Fiat and it didn't seem like a particularly tricky manoeuvre, even for me. So I reverse the car straight into a concrete bollard that I simply didn’t see, leaving a lovely dent in the liveried paintwork and the bumper hanging off!
I’m not entirely sure how it happened as it was so quick. I rarely drive the company car or use the car park but, from past experience, was pretty sure there was no bollard there before, just a low wall dividing the front of the car park from the street. I then discovered that two bollards were only installed a few days earlier either side of the entrance to the car park a foot or so inside the boundary wall and that someone else in the building had hit the other one earlier that same day! I recall seeing the wall in my mirrors, but no bollard. I can only assume it was directly behind the car and not caught by the mirrors. I remember reversing and stopping short of the wall, then put the car into first to go forwards. The car park is on a slope and I believe it rolled back slightly as I changed gear hitting the bollard that I didn’t know was there!
The junior, who is a rather over confident & bolshy 21 year old, was the only other person in the office at the time. She made lots of helpful comments like “OMG, how on earth did you manage that?!!”, “don’t you use mirrors?”, “what if that had been a child?”, “I think they should make you pay for that!.” Thankfully, my boss (who is also my sister) was pretty cool and simply said “these things happen”. I’ve not seen her business partner yet but apparently he was ok. I’m still dreading facing him next week as I feel such an idiot.
I couldn’t sleep last night for worrying, going over and over the incident and analysing what I did wrong. My husband didn’t seem to think it was a big deal and said company cars like that always get knocked sooner or later, if it wasn’t me it would be someone else and that’s what insurance is for. He laughed out loud when I suggested offering to pay any excess but I just want to try and redeem myself.
This morning, I popped to the supermarket in my own car. It was raining slightly and the windscreen wipers suddenly jammed and stopped working. I stopped and wiped the windscreen but a few minutes later it was wet again and I couldn’t see properly. Terrified of having another accident, I called my husband who came to rescue me. To my horror he chucked me his car keys and told me to drive home with the kids while he tried to sort my car out. I’ve driven his car occasionally but don’t like it as it’s a big car. After yesterday’s incident, I was terrified and started to cry with fear. He insisted I went, so I drove the couple of miles home petrified and didn’t dare attempt to put the car on the drive.
I now feel like I don’t want to drive anymore even though I’ve been driving nearly everyday for 20 years. I’ve gone overnight from being a reasonably competent but not overly confident driver to being absolutely terrified of getting behind the wheel as I feel I’m a danger to others and shouldn’t be on the road
This was obviously a complete accident, you innocently went out to reverse and re park this car unaware any new bollards pillars etc. had been erected.
Its easy to say do not worry about it because you obviously will worry about it until you have spoken to the boss and got it sorted out. I don't think he or she will be very hard on you though as accidents happen in a split second. Nobody was injured and I am sure the company can afford to sort out the damage through their insurance.
I would try to put it from your mind as best as you can as It is just one of those things that happen occasionally to catch us out and human error cannot be helped.
You are okay and so is everyone else in the office, its only a dent on a car.
These things do happen. I consider myself to be a good driver, but even I have bad days! I have rammed my friend's car (because I forgot to put my car in park when I shut it off!), bumped into walls at parking garages (it didn't look like I was close to it until I hit it), and you don't even want to know how many times I have run over curbs, especially in parking lots when I'm trying to park next to them.
I worked for a mail service earlier this year at my college; my driving was a running joke. They always knew when I parked the car because I backed it in crooked, and every time I could get out of driving I could. But, I just laughed it off. There were other crazy drivers working there (no one is a perfect driver) and they thought it was funny, so eventually I did too.
Honestly, the junior was incredibly rude especially since you had to move the car due to their error. I know you have social anxiety, but I'd have said something along the lines of "well, I wouldn't have had to move the car if you had parked it in the right place to begin with" (and if they're rude to you again, I think you should say that). You can say it as if you are kidding, but the point will be made.
Since it's your sister, if it helps you feel better to offer some money if needed, and you can afford it, do so. But it probably won't be a costly fix. Like I said, everyone does this - so don't worry too much about what anyone thinks. If they mention it, just smile or laugh and say "that thing just came out of nowhere!" or "it must have snuck up on me!" or anything else that makes it a joke. It's not serious - and no one should take it so seriously - so don't let it get you down.
These things do happen. I consider myself to be a good driver, but even I have bad days! I have rammed my friend's car (because I forgot to put my car in park when I shut it off!), bumped into walls at parking garages (it didn't look like I was close to it until I hit it), and you don't even want to know how many times I have run over curbs, especially in parking lots when I'm trying to park next to them.
I worked for a mail service earlier this year at my college; my driving was a running joke. They always knew when I parked the car because I backed it in crooked, and every time I could get out of driving I could. But, I just laughed it off. There were other crazy drivers working there (no one is a perfect driver) and they thought it was funny, so eventually I did too.
Honestly, the junior was incredibly rude especially since you had to move the car due to their error. I know you have social anxiety, but I'd have said something along the lines of "well, I wouldn't have had to move the car if you had parked it in the right place to begin with" (and if they're rude to you again, I think you should say that). You can say it as if you are kidding, but the point will be made.
Since it's your sister, if it helps you feel better to offer some money if needed, and you can afford it, do so. But it probably won't be a costly fix. Like I said, everyone does this - so don't worry too much about what anyone thinks. If they mention it, just smile or laugh and say "that thing just came out of nowhere!" or "it must have snuck up on me!" or anything else that makes it a joke. It's not serious - and no one should take it so seriously - so don't let it get you down.
Yes, I was annoyed at her parking, very lazy as there were spaces around the back that she could have parked. I wish I'd asked her to move it but she was on the phone and the other driver needed to go, so no choice. I hope the boss asks why the car was not parked in a proper space but instead was across other spaces, on a slope, and near a stupid bollard......
---------- Post added at 23:56 ---------- Previous post was at 23:52 ----------
Yes, I was annoyed at her parking, very lazy as there were spaces around the back that she could have parked. I wish I'd asked her to move it but she was on the phone and the other driver needed to go, so no choice. I hope the boss asks why the car was not parked in a proper space but instead was across other spaces, on a slope, and near a stupid bollard......
Actually I did joke that the awful, blaring music she had on had distracted me but she retorted that no, it was my awful driving!!!
No one is perfect. Do not let anyone put you down.
These thing happen even to the best drivers. My husband is a really good driver and drives all over the country for his job. One day he came home and reversed straight into the garage door! haha he admitted he was too busy watching an attractive blonde lady next door :D
Don't dwell on it, it has happened and is no big problem, it could have happened to anyone especially since you were not expecting the bollard to be there.
I reversed my car into a bollard, admittedly it was dark but these things do happen. It can happen to anyone, regardless of how confident they are or not. All those people u mite be worrying will think badly of you? They will also have no doubt had something like this happen to them, but maybe they are keeping quiet about it.....
I was party to a big mistake at work not so long back. Like you.... I was mortified about it. Well, I did such a good job of criticising myself that I got very upset. But you knw what? My manager was the one (who amongst others) I feared most and she was the one who said to me not to worry and reassured me my position in the company was safe because they know I am trustworthy and do a good job.
The other person I feared, one of the directors who can be quite abrupt & stroppy.... Didnt say a word to me about it. He had bigger fish to fry & quite frankly he also knew I do a good job. I thought things like "why would he now want to bother having conversations with me when I have made such a mess of things..... He will see me in such a shameful light".
But it wasn't like that in reality. They knew how I felt & that I cared.
I believe your sister, and others at the company (whose opinion matters) will know you are a sensible & loyal person.
People like this junior colleague who make such needless remarks (that do nothing to ease the Situation & just pile on the bad feelings) really are not worth listening to.
If they start up again, about this or other things.... Tell them they are not helping & you'd prefer that they were more positive about things rather than knocking you since it is not productive..
After all, I am sure they wouldn't want you laying into them would they?
Please stop beating yourself up about this and any other situation.
The surest thing of all is you need to stop being automatically negative about yourself.
Stop fearing the worst.
Be rational.
Be realistic.
Stick to facts & not the negative fabrications or conclusions your mind is automatically springing to.
This is happening out of habit.
The thoughts are disproportionate & not realistic.
Instead, look for the good that you do.
I have no doubt you do plenty of good and positive things.
It's time to start looking out for them.
Although I realise accidents like this can happen to anyone, when it's me I still think it's because I'm a complete idiot. My sister is a very good, confident driver. She does make fun of my driving such as putting her hands over her eyes in mock horror when I'm driving. The other week I used the company car and when I walked back into the office she jokingly said "I hope you haven't crashed that car." The others were laughing so I wonder if she'd been telling them about my driving! Well now I have crashed that car. To be fair, I am mostly a careful, competent driver who just gets nervous sometimes and has been known to make silly mistakes as a result. I particularly hate driving cars other than my own. I have never really mastered parking due to poor spatial awareness and will only park in easy spaces. I have been driving nearly every day for 20 years, albeit mostly local, familiar routes. I've only had a few minor accidents, mostly not my fault, although I did knock over our wall at home when reversing last year. The next door neighbour did the same to her wall around the same time so we clubbed together and got new walls built. I don't think the neighbour is an idiot. I even know my sister has had the odd accident over the years. I have a vague recollection of her reversing into a big plant pot in the grounds of a posh hotel once. I didn't think she was an idiot, instead I thought it was quite a funny story. I don't think she's ever crashed a company car though.
It's my first day back at work today since the accident and I'm dreading it.........
I wrote off my company car last week in a crash on the motorway,all that matters is that you are ok and not hurt.
cars can be replaced and repaired and life goes on
The business partner was back yesterday. He never said a word about the car and there was never an appropriate moment for me to mention it to him (work very busy). Wondering whether I should say anything given that I'd already spoken to my sister. Still paranoid he must think I'm an idiot though, not just because of this but generally. I'm still driving but have lost all my confidence. To make matters worse I have to drive my son & some of his friends at the weekend and am terrified of having an accident.
---------- Post added at 08:17 ---------- Previous post was at 07:07 ----------
Incidentally, my sister gave me a lift in the company's car the other day. She drove too fast, pulled out where I probably wouldn't, expected other road users to make way for her, bad mouthing them when they didn't. She then put her foot on the acelerator instead of the brake, shooting forward. Luckily there was nothing in front. Her excuse was that she forgot she wasn't in her own car which is an automatic.
Still, if she'd had an accident it would be because she's over confident. When I have an accident it's because I'm an incompetent idiot. .....
Hey dobbie..... I was reading your post thinking.... This is good.... You are seeing how "it can happen to anyone". That your sister has a different driving style, that her forthright style makes it likely she'll have a bump in the car.
But then I got to this bit...
"When I have an accident it's because I'm an incompetent idiot. ....."
Would u please stop it!!! The world's full of enough people who are queuing up to knock us..... Don't you join the queue!!
If I had to join either you or your sister in a car, I am assure you I old not pick her.
I would pick you. Remember that the more often you talk yourself down,cane less confident you'll feel.
So....... Do the opposite. Rephrase what often comes automatically to mind that is entirely negative.
You deserve better....
Be kinder to yourself. Recognise your good points.
Wise words from Tessar and I agree with all she said :)
Mr Andy I hope you are okay after your crash?
Overconfidence isn't always a good thing. In driver's ed, we're taught about the importance of defensive driving...something overconfident people almost never practice.
The important thing is that you forgive yourself and learn to have some faith in yourself and your driving abilities. Nothing you have said leads me to believe you are a bad driver. I have some friends who are truly awful drivers - and would admit to it with a smile on their face! I personally am no good at driving in a city; I could do it in a pinch but I'm a country girl, so when I went to the city to a show with my friend a couple of weeks ago, I said we could take my car but insisted she drove. She was happy to do it.
We all have things we're insecure about. I think on the one hand, we should try our best work through them and gain some confidence. But in the meantime, it's not a bad thing to forgive yourself for not being perfect and that is the first step in not caring what anybody thinks. I know how you feel - my brother is amazing at everything he does, and if he ran into something with his car it wouldn't be his fault, but if I ran into something it would be because I did something wrong. And yes, that line of thinking by others eventually seeps into your mind and starts to make you doubt yourself. Who knows why people view situations differently based on the people involved. Maybe at some point they've sensed our insecurities and subconsciously agreed with us. But, as hard as it is (and it IS hard) we need to learn to say to heck with them - our opinion of ourselves matters most. Because I really think that if you believe you are a good driver, you'll start to gain confidence and others will see you are a good driver.
alisando123
07-11-14, 13:14
I think many people have accidents like this. It doesn't mean we are bad drivers. I'm a very cautious driver but I accidently reversed into someone's car once. I paid for the damage but it knocked my confidence as a driver. I think if you get back in there and just keep driving you'll get your confidence back. It's like falling off a horse, if you get straight back on after a fall you can start tackling that fear straight away!
Wise words from Tessar and I agree with all she said :)
Mr Andy I hope you are okay after your crash?
yes fine thanks i was shaken but not stirred :)
yes fine thanks i was shaken but not stirred :)
That is good to hear :)
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