Ex "social smoker"

[Nat99]

Hello
I have been socially/light smoking on and off since I was 16 to when I becaue pregnant at 34. I didn't smoke every day and more so in my 20's in pubs and clubs sometikes white heavily when drinking and with friends. Sometimes in the day if I was upset I had some with bad relationships etc. when I got pregnant i stopped immediately and since he was born in April 2009 I have had a handful of cigarettes at parties etc and a few when I was going through a very bad time with my ex. But none for 3 years. I think about 2 years ago I had one because I got very drunk. I know I was stupid to smoke at all and althiugh I had GAD Since I was 20 I've only really had health anxiety last few years which in the last 3 weeks has spiralled so much I am started
On sertraline and diazapam. I had a cough a few months ago and gp send me for x Ray to put my mind at rest and I went into meltdown, crying while they did the x Ray convinced I had lung cancer. It came back clear but i think unbeknown to me that was the start of this latest episode. I can't stop the thought going round snd round in my head that I have damaged my lungs and one day I am going to get it, even tho it show clear now. And by having those few cigarettes in the last few years have I put my risk right back up there again. And someone I here has made a comment that lung cancer always sees u as a smoker :( i am in such a state thinking I may get it and i will only have myself to blame. I wonder if anyone has the same and has managed to get on with it. People say u can't change the past which I know but I can't believe I was so stupid and now look where it has got me. These thoughts are in my head now all the time and I am signed off work and haven't been out apart from short walks for nearly 6 days now :( I just can't seem to get it out my head . Should I see my x Ray as a new start which I am trying to do but keep convincing myself that lung cancer will and can still develop. I hope someone replies becauese
I am going out of my mind here and just need to get back to functioning with my life.

[Serenity1990]

Have you heard of pack years? There are calcukators available online. As a social/occasional smoker I'd wager you've smoked <5 pack years, and if so your chances of developing lung cancer are really pretty close to those of a non-smoker.

[Nat99]

Even if I smoked quite heavily when I was out at pubs etc do u think? I have to get myself out of this and I know there's never any certainty about anything which I have always struggled with but maybe some positivity will help. Thing is people say things to try and make u feel better like my friend who said he smoked for 30 years heavily but it still disn't stop Me thinking, yes, but it could be me. Classic HA I know but that's where I am and I need to try and stop and and the moment my brain is doing overtime

---------- Post added at 14:52 ---------- Previous post was at 14:43 ----------

I kind of i averaged it out to 5 a day over 20 years as I didn't know now to put it really as some of the time I didn't smoke at all and would go weeks and months snd over a year when I was pregnant and my baby born. This came out at 5 is that bad and do you think that's the best way to do it?

[Serenity1990]

If it's five pack years then you're really not at a significantly higher risk than non-smokers. Just stop right now!

[Cusper]

If you were a social smoker I wouldn't worry. My grandma smoked 2 packs a day from the time she was young until age 60 in doors sometimes 2 going on at the same time. Also most people back then smoked all of the time so you can imagine the damage being done. She is now 93. Now I am not promoting smoking by any means, but just to add perspective to your anxiety. I smoked a pack a day for about 20 years. I've quit for over a year and if the x rays say clear have faith in them. Most people are not social smokers, most people smoke all of the time. Still not saying it's not dangerous but far less likely then an all day everyday smoker. As the other person said, just don't smoke anymore to ensure you keep healthy.

[Nat99]

So if x Ray is clear the chances are it would stay that way and LC would not develop. I think I really need to hold on to this. I keep reading aswell that if u started early it's worse. Maybe just try and be positive x

---------- Post added at 16:47 ---------- Previous post was at 16:46 ----------

I have felt so panicky over this I have come for a walk to clear my head of all these bad thoughts. I am signed off work and at the moment I can't see my way out of all these bad thoughts :( I feel so upset

---------- Post added at 16:48 ---------- Previous post was at 16:47 ----------

Does it ever worry you cusper, how old are u?

---------- Post added at 17:09 ---------- Previous post was at 16:48 ----------

I haven't touched one in about 3 years serenity just oanicking over the past and how stupid I was and what could I have done to myself x

[Cusper]

No it doesn't worry me. i do worry about other diseases tho. so i had a full body work up plus xray after i quit smoking a year ago. it all came back clear. So i figured since i quit the likelihood of lung cancer is less than if i continued not smoking. i haven't had one cough since. you will be fine!