inCOGnito
31-10-14, 08:50
This is putting my thought down on paper (digital paper)
What do I have to do or what has to be done to really really really overcome anxiety?
Anxiety isn't bad. It isn't a "thing". No one has even found anxiety in the brain like a tumor or disease or parasite. It's not a thing. Anxiety is one end of the spectrum of stress.
The stress spectrum (simplistic version)
Peace/Joy Contentment Relaxation Worry Fear 'Nerves' Anxiety
<--------------------------------------------------------------------------------->
Anxiety is the direct result of chronic stress (or in some cases severe acute stress). And what is stress? there is stress on the physical body, like an operation, like physical trauma, like exercising too often and not letting the body recover. Physical stress heals itself with time and care. Psychological stress is subjective. One person enjoys one thing, another is stressed by the same thing. So why the difference? Is it because there is something wrong with us? Is it because we are different? Or is it because of how we view the event and our perceived ability to cope in that event?
So there are two major questions that trip us all up. Two questions that uproot any type of therapy we do. Two questions that are at the root of sabotaging everything we try to do, even if it is the "right" method.
Question 1. Is there something wrong with me?
Maybe we know all the answers. We know that we need to accept the feelings, we know about the sympathetic nervous system, we know we must face, float, we know that it won't hurt us... but we don't follow through because we are tripped up by the question of wether or not we are capable of doing it. Maybe there is something wrong with me that I can't do this. My recovery isn't as fast as I want. This technique isn't working for me. It must be me. it must be me. It must be me. It's the conscious or subconscious conclusion we come to. We look for dietry reasons, health reasons, metabolic reasons, personality reasons, genetic reasons, and everything else to try and explain why we can't do it. So I want to know, to really know, is there something wrong with me. how would you act differently, think differently, respond differently, if you KNEW that there was nothing wrong with you, and that all this, all of it, was simply stress.
Question 2. Can I cope with this, what if it gets worse?
Even if we answered #1 to our satisfaction we still have the effects of stress of the body and mind. We can get burnt out, sensitized, mentally spiritually emotionally exhausted. It can feel like the next little thing will put us over the edge so we retract, we avoid, we hold back. Maybe we do something scary one day but are still scared of it the next. We blame other things for our success... "oh it was because my friend was there" or "I was just lucky" and "maybe next time I won't be able to cope". The thing with anxiety is that it is only ever anxiety, nothing else. So there is always that feeling that it could get worse, especially when you withdraw and add second fear (ie the "oh my gods"). And what if it gets worse? Can I cope with it then.
This question trips us up so badly. Doing well one day, not the next. how can we know that we will cope? I mean really know.
I'm going to sit with these questions for a while. I know the logical answers, I could get an A+ on an exam, but intellectual answering is insufficient. It does only little actual good. I want to know the answers to these questions to my very core. To the place where there is ultimate acceptance no matter what the actual answer. because this isn't about getting the answers we want to hear. Or getting the answers we hope to hear. Because truth will always win, because well it's the truth.
If you feel like sharing your answers or experiences on these questions then please do so
What do I have to do or what has to be done to really really really overcome anxiety?
Anxiety isn't bad. It isn't a "thing". No one has even found anxiety in the brain like a tumor or disease or parasite. It's not a thing. Anxiety is one end of the spectrum of stress.
The stress spectrum (simplistic version)
Peace/Joy Contentment Relaxation Worry Fear 'Nerves' Anxiety
<--------------------------------------------------------------------------------->
Anxiety is the direct result of chronic stress (or in some cases severe acute stress). And what is stress? there is stress on the physical body, like an operation, like physical trauma, like exercising too often and not letting the body recover. Physical stress heals itself with time and care. Psychological stress is subjective. One person enjoys one thing, another is stressed by the same thing. So why the difference? Is it because there is something wrong with us? Is it because we are different? Or is it because of how we view the event and our perceived ability to cope in that event?
So there are two major questions that trip us all up. Two questions that uproot any type of therapy we do. Two questions that are at the root of sabotaging everything we try to do, even if it is the "right" method.
Question 1. Is there something wrong with me?
Maybe we know all the answers. We know that we need to accept the feelings, we know about the sympathetic nervous system, we know we must face, float, we know that it won't hurt us... but we don't follow through because we are tripped up by the question of wether or not we are capable of doing it. Maybe there is something wrong with me that I can't do this. My recovery isn't as fast as I want. This technique isn't working for me. It must be me. it must be me. It must be me. It's the conscious or subconscious conclusion we come to. We look for dietry reasons, health reasons, metabolic reasons, personality reasons, genetic reasons, and everything else to try and explain why we can't do it. So I want to know, to really know, is there something wrong with me. how would you act differently, think differently, respond differently, if you KNEW that there was nothing wrong with you, and that all this, all of it, was simply stress.
Question 2. Can I cope with this, what if it gets worse?
Even if we answered #1 to our satisfaction we still have the effects of stress of the body and mind. We can get burnt out, sensitized, mentally spiritually emotionally exhausted. It can feel like the next little thing will put us over the edge so we retract, we avoid, we hold back. Maybe we do something scary one day but are still scared of it the next. We blame other things for our success... "oh it was because my friend was there" or "I was just lucky" and "maybe next time I won't be able to cope". The thing with anxiety is that it is only ever anxiety, nothing else. So there is always that feeling that it could get worse, especially when you withdraw and add second fear (ie the "oh my gods"). And what if it gets worse? Can I cope with it then.
This question trips us up so badly. Doing well one day, not the next. how can we know that we will cope? I mean really know.
I'm going to sit with these questions for a while. I know the logical answers, I could get an A+ on an exam, but intellectual answering is insufficient. It does only little actual good. I want to know the answers to these questions to my very core. To the place where there is ultimate acceptance no matter what the actual answer. because this isn't about getting the answers we want to hear. Or getting the answers we hope to hear. Because truth will always win, because well it's the truth.
If you feel like sharing your answers or experiences on these questions then please do so