SyrianPanda
01-11-14, 08:17
This forum has helped me calm down when I was in a panicky state, especially going through posts based on my symptoms but now it seems I'm back to base one. I heard on the news about a 12 year old whom has no urge to eat or drink and no one can find out what's wrong with him. I don't feel like I get hungry anymore (ever since the panic attack) but I still force myself to eat some. I can't recall feeling thirsty either but this could be because I drink a lot of water since my stomach gets an acidic feeling or just feels like I need something. I managed to convince myself that I don't have what he has but I still keep getting bombarded with "what-ifs", like "what if I have something that no one can help me with like that boy". I also have other intense worries like the fact that I keep thinking about my symptoms and I have like a second voice that reassures me but it doesn't help and sometimes when I think of a symptom and try to reassure myself, I lose my train of thought then my mind just feels blank. I get a calm feeling and feel like I'm not thinking for a moment but this worries me and it just continues in a vicious cycle. I'm also worried I have OCD because when I listen to music and focus on it, listen to my thoughts, someone talking IRL, or someone talking on a movie, etc. then I repeat the last word or words they say, including my own thoughts and what I say. I repeat them once though and not every single last word they say, it's just when I try to actually focus on the TV or someone talking instead of my thoughts is when the repeating thing starts. I've posted about it a month ago on here and got a response but since it still has been happening for a month now, I'm worried. I also don't feel tired which worries me more. I'm freaking out and I keep crying because I feel helpless. I was prescribed 25mg atarax to take as needed for anxiety/panic attacks but I hate the feeling I get from taking it. I'm consciously aware of my breathing so the atarax makes it feel like I'm not breathing at all because I can't feel myself inhale or exhale because my whole body is in an intense relax state. I feel like the atarax helped when I took it (I only took one so far 24 days ago) but I'm worried about taking it again.
To sum up the symptoms that I'm worrying about right now:
- Don't feel like eating (force myself to eat a little)
-Lose my train of thought constantly, when thinking and talking
-Repeating what others say, what I say, what the TV says, music, etc. once. Not everything they say I repeat, it seems like when I try to pay attention to what they're saying rather than worrying about my thoughts and symptoms is when the repeatingness happens. Or sometimes I realize
that I'm not repeating what they say and then it happens. (when typing stuff I repeat the last thing I typed in my mind which worries me)
-Consciously aware of breathing
-Feel helpless like I have something no one can figure out
-Feel helpless that if I do have anxiety that it will last for the rest of my life.
-Afraid I'll go emotionally numb, like I've read some people with anxiety do, where I won't care about my family or anything
-Doing yoga or meditation scares me because yoga makes you focus on your breathing and the idea of not thinking during meditation or that it clears your mind freaks me out because I already feel like my mind is cleared; it goes blank.
-I keep getting songs stuck in my head and have been for a while now.
-Heart randomly starts beating fast
-Scared that whatever I eat or drink or watch will affect my anxiety.
-I can still go places (I went into a Haunted House on the 30th, I forced myself to drive, I actually feel comfortable being in stores and stuff so I'm worried that it can't be anxiety because before all this I would feel uncomfortable going places because being around people was just uncomfortable for me and I liked to isolate myself but now being around people actually helps a little and I don't feel uncomfortable around them)
I have random physical symptoms as well and I just can't seem to calm down. Watching TV previously made me relax a little or searching through Pinterest, but now it's back to base one where the only thing I can do that helps me calm down is search through anxiety forums.
SORRY this post is so long but thank you in advance for your responses! I really need reassurance. Part of me figures this is anxiety and then the other keeps suggesting irrational ideas and although I know they're unrealistic, I just can't stop fixating on them. I feel like if I try my best to distract myself from this anxiety, that it will just persist and that I'm wasting my time and that I need to be constantly searching anxiety forums for self-help and reassurance that it goes away. I know it doesn't go away for a while but I just can't stop worrying about it.
To sum up the symptoms that I'm worrying about right now:
- Don't feel like eating (force myself to eat a little)
-Lose my train of thought constantly, when thinking and talking
-Repeating what others say, what I say, what the TV says, music, etc. once. Not everything they say I repeat, it seems like when I try to pay attention to what they're saying rather than worrying about my thoughts and symptoms is when the repeatingness happens. Or sometimes I realize
that I'm not repeating what they say and then it happens. (when typing stuff I repeat the last thing I typed in my mind which worries me)
-Consciously aware of breathing
-Feel helpless like I have something no one can figure out
-Feel helpless that if I do have anxiety that it will last for the rest of my life.
-Afraid I'll go emotionally numb, like I've read some people with anxiety do, where I won't care about my family or anything
-Doing yoga or meditation scares me because yoga makes you focus on your breathing and the idea of not thinking during meditation or that it clears your mind freaks me out because I already feel like my mind is cleared; it goes blank.
-I keep getting songs stuck in my head and have been for a while now.
-Heart randomly starts beating fast
-Scared that whatever I eat or drink or watch will affect my anxiety.
-I can still go places (I went into a Haunted House on the 30th, I forced myself to drive, I actually feel comfortable being in stores and stuff so I'm worried that it can't be anxiety because before all this I would feel uncomfortable going places because being around people was just uncomfortable for me and I liked to isolate myself but now being around people actually helps a little and I don't feel uncomfortable around them)
I have random physical symptoms as well and I just can't seem to calm down. Watching TV previously made me relax a little or searching through Pinterest, but now it's back to base one where the only thing I can do that helps me calm down is search through anxiety forums.
SORRY this post is so long but thank you in advance for your responses! I really need reassurance. Part of me figures this is anxiety and then the other keeps suggesting irrational ideas and although I know they're unrealistic, I just can't stop fixating on them. I feel like if I try my best to distract myself from this anxiety, that it will just persist and that I'm wasting my time and that I need to be constantly searching anxiety forums for self-help and reassurance that it goes away. I know it doesn't go away for a while but I just can't stop worrying about it.