How to accept anxiety?

[Poppy Girl]

Hi

I'm new on here but have been recommended by my Dr and friends.

I've been suffering from GAD since last December when I had my gall bladder removed. No worries about the op but my Dr said anxiety was probably caused by the stress leading up to the op, it being Christmas at the same time and worrying about my boys.

Anyway, after trying various SSRIs, none of which worked, I bought the book At Last A Life by Paul, who had suffered with anxiety for 10 years. Everything in the book made sense - in order to get better, you've got to stop trying. Accept the anxiety is there but don't give the feelings any power.

So, I decided to adopt this policy. My Dr also put me on Venlafaxine at the same time, which definitely helped but I just kept on living my normal life and within 6 weeks all anxiety had gone and I felt better then ever.

However, 2 months later, out of the blue, the anxiety came creeping back. My Dr has upped the dose of the medication but I still want to just accept the anxiety. I know it can't hurt me but the physical feelings, particularly tightness in the chest, just won't go away and I can't ignore them. I'm going to work, socialising, exercising regularly etc but 4 weeks on, things seem to be getting worse, not better.

I'm keeping as busy as I can but I just want to feel comfortable on my own. The problem is, any time I'm alone I become very self-focused and can't switch off from the anxiety. It overwhelms me and then I just end up crying, which I hate as it's self-indulgent but I just can't see an end to it.

Has anyone got any tips or suggestions as to how you can accept the anxiety? Paul says that you have to "not care" if the feelings are there but when they are so intense and there as soon as I wake in the morning with very little respite all day it's very hard!

Any advice would be very welcome. :shrug: TIA

[jonjones]

Hi,
Try to let go of the tight hold you have on yourself. Let your shoulders, arms, chest, midriff etc sag, take deep breaths and exhale slowly and try to let go of the tight hold you have on yourself.
Also make sure you are facing your symptoms. And stop trying to figre things out and put your mind into neutral and float!
Jon

[debs71]

They make it sound so easy, don't they? 'Accept the anxiety'....well it isn't.

Accepting the anxiety, and recognising that this is indeed anxiety does not necessarily mean that you won't still struggle with the symptoms and slip back every now and again. It happens to me too, and I have long 'accepted' my anxiety, and have had it on and off for 10 years now.

I personally am not one for all the hippy-dippy, airy-fairy stuff about 'acceptance' and letting an anxiety attack 'wash over you' and all of the other 'float above it' rubbish. I think that most anxiety sufferers would say that in the grip of anxiety, floating is the last thing they can do, as they are feeling so rubbish.

The first thing is that you must NOT see your relapse as a failure. It isn't. It happens to us frequently, but the key is to remind yourself that you have been here before, and it has passed. This will pass for you too.

Anxiety can grip you, and it can feel like it won't leave you, but you are doing ALL the right things at the moment, EXCEPT your brain is telling you that the anxiety should be going away, and I think that is part of the reason it is staying around. Dwelling on anxiety, and the way it makes you feel, and the fact it isn't going away just adds fuel to the fire, and the great thing you are doing is keeping busy.....you MUST keep doing it, even if you are are alone. Watching a movie, doing a crossword, playing a game on the PC....anything that keeps your brain occupied is key.

Anxiety is just a trick of the mind, making you feel dreadful. If you divert your brain to something else, it loses power. Occupational stuff plays a big part in grounding us and quelling the awful GAD symptoms.

I have been where you are right now, so many times it is pathetic and infuriating, but one thing I will absolutely say is that the more you experience slip backs, the easier it gets (I know I might not be popular with that opinion, or have many agree with it, lol) but personally, anxiety HAS lost its power over the years for me, as I know that when I am feeling awful, it is my anxiety again playing up, and it will soon pass......it always does.

You must have faith in that fact, and be bloody minded with it. Don't give it room to grow, and keep doing what you are. This is a phase you will overcome.xxx:hugs:

[swgrl09]

Sometimes it goes beyond accepting the anxiety. Accepting is the first step and is very helpful because you stop beating yourself up over it. Eventually, I truly believe we all have to heal the part of us that the anxiety is serving to protect.

Have a look at Richard Schwartz and Internal Family Systems theory (it's not about family therapy, although the name sounds like it). This article is a good explanation about how it works:

http://personal-growth-programs.com/learn-about-ifs/introduction-to-internal-family-systems-therapy/

Basically we all have different parts to our personalities and anxiety over certain things is just ONE part of us. That part got more extreme because something happened in our lives to make it that way. The article explains it better than I can. You have to heal the part it protects before it can stop being anxious.

[jonjones]

I think its because we have so much unconscious tension that we are not aware of. We need to make ourselves aware of this first to accept it. Ntoice where you are tight in yuor body and try to let it feel heavy.

It can take it a while to ease the tension and it may even feel like its not working but keep at it. Keep sagging and facing the symptoms!

Jon