HRW
04-11-14, 15:08
Hi, I have eventually given in and done the one thing that I never thought I would and join a site like this hoping that it will help with my severe Health Anxiety that is taking over my life!! It is so reassuring to come onto a site like this and read so many people thinking and feeling the same as you do. If I had one wish it would be to clear myself of this horrendous anxiety that is starting to be the one and only thing I can think about even though I have a lovely husband and two beautiful little boys and I should be enjoying my life. I am 29 years old and my anxiety started to worsen after the birth of my second child. For me now its the big 'C' cancer! I think I have it constantly, at the moment my fear is cervical cancer but at the same time I have managed to also convince myself I have bowel cancer and that I have found a lump in my tummy, I am not even sure it is a lump but to me it is, I have tummy pains, but I am sure this down to the fact I am worrying myself silly about it, nerves etc rather it been cancer. I have in the past thought I have had ovarian cancer, cancer of the lymph nodes, brain tumor, skin cancer. you name it I have thought I have had it and every time it has turned out to be nothing! I go through phases, I can go a couple of months and everything is great and then out of the blue I get an ache or pain or some other mild symptom and automatically connect that to whatever form of cancer I think it relates too most and then worry myself sick until I get the all clear from the doctors!! My g.p is aware of my condition and is sympathetic but I now worry he won't take me seriously as a result!!! Currently having some mild bleeding in between taking the pill just started for no reason really probably down to stress!! I have already had swabs, the doctor has given me a full examination and looked at my cervix etc, she has even done a full blood count and she has reassured me that she does not think for one second it is anything sinister and everything has come back perfect bloods, swabs etc but that she will refer me for an ultra sound just to check to see if there is anything going on inside etc, very routine of course but to me I have automatically convinced myself something is terribly wrong. I have had ultra sounds before and they have always come back fine. I have spent most of today trailing the internet for all different types of cancers, obsessing over every symptom etc and worrying myself sick. I should be concentrating on my boys not sat making myself ill over this. I am currently on medication for my anxiety 20mg of citalopram which has helped or so I thought but at the moment I have gone backwards big style and have fully convinced myself that I am going to die of this cruel disease if not in the near future then some where down the line? Is this normal and typical of other people on this site? Are there any mums around my age that are going through a similar thing, just want to know I am not alone. Thank you.