PDA

View Full Version : performance anxiety



dabrucru
05-11-14, 07:28
hi all, hope everything is better than yesterday:winks: , i m having this little problem. hope someone can give a little hint on how to keep it at bay. i m 40 married an in love with my wife, but lately i having trouble, you know, keeping up the little guy. I m an anxious person and get worried by almost everything. its been going on like this for almost a year now. i get aroused by my wife, she s a beautiful woman but as soon as we start to have sex its over, i get all sweaty i have to go to the bathroom every 5 minutes, and i get really frustrated. Now we re planning to have a baby and the situation is getting more 'fearful' My wife is very understanding, but i feel really guilty that i can t sometimes finish my 'part' last time i tried the little blue pill it took an hour to work, and i had just eaten, so it didn t worked quite well. also i hate the headache that comes with it, but i can live with that. my wife dislike the idea of having sex with a pill. i m healthy, i spoke once to my doctor who told me its all in my head....i hoped someone could help me :shades:

WelshBambi
12-11-14, 01:19
Hi there

Whilst I don't have any advice on how to fix your problem, I do have some experience on keeping your bond with your wife strong whilst you get this sorted.

First of all, make sure you talk to her about how you're feeling...us women like to feel included so not sharing how you feel , good and bad, might make her feel like you are hiding something more.
Next remember that the small displays of affection and attraction are just as important as the act itself. Caress her bum unexpectedly, drop a few kisses on her neck whilst she washes up, stop in the middle of doing something distinctly normal to tell her how sexy she is. That way she will have reassurance that she is not part of the problem and you won't have to worry about disappointing her.

Lastly, take this as a chance to explore her other turn ons. Sex doesn't only mean the good old in n out!
Learn to use your hands, maybe try a couple of toys...go to bed with the sole intention of focussing on her pleasure rather than whether you are up to the task.

I have done that with my current partner when he hasn't been feeling in the mood or up to the task, and more often than not it has a very positive effect on him too!

Hope this helps x

dabrucru
13-11-14, 15:15
thanks for your advices :)

sulemandin
25-11-14, 16:17
WelshBambi, that is some wonderful advice. I've been having issues similar to this but unfortunately mine isn't due to anxiety. But I agree that maintaining that bond with your other half is very important as if there is distance put between you because of this it will only add to the anxiety problems.

I've tried the pill too and it did work ok for me, but like you I don't want to have to rely on something like that to help, so I changed my diet and started exercising more.

I know anxiety can be linked with stress, and if you're stressed exercising more can help alleviate it somewhat. It might be worth a try?

FinnHelton
29-12-14, 06:54
Truly a great advice!!!!