lior
07-11-14, 15:21
That sounds like I hate children... I'm finding it hard to be around children because I really miss my little brother, and generally being around a family.
I'm on the edge of tears recently because of this. I want the joy of playing with kids in my life. I want to tickle toddlers, sing to babies and teach 6 year olds about rainbows. More than that I'd love to take my 13 year old brother to a gig at Camden... it would make him so excited.
I work from cafes and wherever I go, there seem to be mums with babies or young children. I can't escape. Even now, children's voices are ringing out from behind me.
It's the worst when I work from my boss's house because our work room is where the kids do their drawing and homework, and there's kids stuff everywhere. Cute hair bands. Sweet little drawings. Books and colouring pens.
And I work for a company that's about school!
I really miss my brother. I'm not talking to him because he ends up being the go-between for my mother and I, and I don't think that's fair on him. I sent him one message today explaining this to him - I hope it doesn't make it awkward for him when mum interrogates him. I'm worried that any contact I have with him will make things difficult for him at home. It's been more than a month since I've been in contact with him, before today.
Every day is painful in some way. This is what's painful today. That and my whiplash.
(for anyone that doesn't know:
I was a real family girl, but I flipped a few months ago and couldn't take being constantly giving, listening, and supportive to my family members and in return, my own problems were constantly dismissed or belittled. Since then my interactions with them have been very negative ones by text and email, where they have been not taking on board things I've said, and have even tried to manipulate me. I'm in a fragile state and I've decided to put myself first and not talk to them, because anything they do say makes me feel worse.
)
I'm on the edge of tears recently because of this. I want the joy of playing with kids in my life. I want to tickle toddlers, sing to babies and teach 6 year olds about rainbows. More than that I'd love to take my 13 year old brother to a gig at Camden... it would make him so excited.
I work from cafes and wherever I go, there seem to be mums with babies or young children. I can't escape. Even now, children's voices are ringing out from behind me.
It's the worst when I work from my boss's house because our work room is where the kids do their drawing and homework, and there's kids stuff everywhere. Cute hair bands. Sweet little drawings. Books and colouring pens.
And I work for a company that's about school!
I really miss my brother. I'm not talking to him because he ends up being the go-between for my mother and I, and I don't think that's fair on him. I sent him one message today explaining this to him - I hope it doesn't make it awkward for him when mum interrogates him. I'm worried that any contact I have with him will make things difficult for him at home. It's been more than a month since I've been in contact with him, before today.
Every day is painful in some way. This is what's painful today. That and my whiplash.
(for anyone that doesn't know:
I was a real family girl, but I flipped a few months ago and couldn't take being constantly giving, listening, and supportive to my family members and in return, my own problems were constantly dismissed or belittled. Since then my interactions with them have been very negative ones by text and email, where they have been not taking on board things I've said, and have even tried to manipulate me. I'm in a fragile state and I've decided to put myself first and not talk to them, because anything they do say makes me feel worse.
)