Can anyone relate to these feelings (foggy head, pounding heart, insomnia?)

[Theincrowd]

Hi all,

I feel like my life has turned upside down and the doctors have put it down to anxiety/burnout. However I feel really alone with my symptoms which I am trying to address through sleep/mindfulness/exersize/eating well.

My story started about a year ago, when both the stress of work and being isolated as I moved alone to a developing country meant I started to experience panic attacks - which I could recover from if I just spent some time lying down. However the panic attacks started getting more frequent and until a point where I became sick with stomach complaints (which is common in the part of the world I was in) and without access to healthcare I had continual panic attacks. This was the point I returned to my home country and the Doctor said I was experiencing anxiety. Ever since I have had the following symptoms:

(i) pounding heart (a strong heartbeat rather than rapid pulse) and palpitations. These I will feel sometimes when doing things but can really feel when in bed lying still. I have tried meditating lying down but the pounding of the heart makes it difficult to concentrate. I will also notice the pulse in my head, arm or other places occasionally. Has anyone had this - especially when meditating?

(ii) A perpetual 'foggy' head. It is not quite dizziness but a sort fuzziness that is present all the time, making it difficult to concentrate. This feels better outside or when trying to do something but is still always there.

(iii) a feeling like I am not myself and will not be able to cope with tasks that used to be easy. I am now uneasy before doing things that used to be second nature. I have been trying to push myself to meet friend, do exersize and get in uncomfortable situations to 'test myself' however I have to build up to it and am normally knackered afterwards. I have been getting slowly better but worried I will never be back to myself.

(iv) Insomania. I have been struggling with sleep as my mind races and sometimes I will wake with the pounding heart as I my dreams have woken me up and includes worry. I tend to fall asleep ok but wake a few hours later then struggle to get back to sleep. I try mindfullness and breathing but without much joy.

Can anyone relate to this? I feel like I am going crazy and feel so tired all the time with worry. Thanks everyone.

[aprilmoon]

Hi
I can relate to a lot of these symptoms,and it does sound a lot like anxiety is at the root of them.
I've been helped a lot by meds and have also had some cbt.
Have you tried any meds at all?,they can be very useful in helping your mind heal.

[Poppy Girl]

Hi

I can totally relate to everything you have said and all your symptoms.

My anxiety started last Nov after being diagnosed with gallstones and then having to have the gallbladder removed - I'm 46 and never had anything wrong with me before this. Not sure whether my mind thought something else was up but these feelings just took over and I couldn't function properly.

I had to take a couple of months off work as I couldn't sleep - like you say, thoughts going round and round in my head. Eventually I'd fall asleep with exhaustion but then be awake about 2 hours later and just lie there with pounding heart (slightly raised pulse but nothing significant) but I could hear it in my head.

I also felt like I was living in a bit of a dream world as nothing seemed real to me. I'd look at things and it was like I was seeing them through a mist or something. I also struggled to do even the most normal things like washing up, cooking meals etc and could hardly bring myself to speak to my husband and 2 teenage sons. I literally felt like the worst person on earth and so pathetic.

Since then I won't say things have been easy but I am a lot better than I was. Have you been seeing your doctor regularly? I didn't want to take any medication as I wanted to try and handle things myself but finally after a few weeks I threw in the towel and took the meds the doctor recommended.

Its taken a trial of 4 different types of medication but I finally feel like I'm getting somewhere. I'm by no means back to normal but loads better than I was 10 months ago. The best thing I did was go back to work. I had to push myself to do it and the anxiety didn't go away (still hasn't but it's much more bearable) but I felt so much better being out of the house and engaged doing something. The more time I spent on my own, the more time I spent analysing what was wrong with me and how to make it go away. I've realised now that the more time you spend trying to fight it, the worse it gets. Mindfulness is a help, as is CBT (ask your doctor to refer you for this) but ultimately it's all about accepting it for what it is - anxiety. Although the feelings are horrible, they can't hurt you - it's just your stressed out body producing too much adrenaline.

If the doctor prescribes some medication (usually SSRIs), they can help to balance the chemicals in your brain and make you feel calmer, hence relieving the symptoms. I'd speak to your doctor as soon as possible. I spent too long trying to handle it myself and ended up 10 times worse than I would have been otherwise.

Feel free to PM me if you want to chat more. I really feel for you as I've been where you are now - literally felt like I was going mad but I am recovering, albeit slowly but I think that's the key, don't expect an overnight cure.

Take care :hugs:

[unspoken]

I think Poppy Girl has made some really good points. I used to have such bad anxiety, for a while I was so scared of catching a vomiting bug that I would only eat pre-packaged foods, washed my hands till they were red raw and wouldn't touch anything. I was also scared to leave the house in case I suddenly got ill while I was out.

Anxiety is a really hard thing to beat, even when you know there's nothing to be frightened of, it leaves you on edge all the time. I found SSRI antidepressants did help, but only after a few months of taking them, it's not an instant cure. I still take sertraline every day, primarily to prevent a relapse of depression, but they also help to prevent repetitive anxious thoughts.

Read up about anxiety symptoms and the biological causes, it might help you to reassure yourself that what you feel is normal and stop you worrying about the symptoms themselves. I agree with Poppy Girl that getting back into work helps too, I find I sleep much better when I have a routine and keep busy. Something that keeps your mind busy but isn't too pressurised is good. I also recommend taking up a new hobby, either something you've never tried before or used to enjoy but haven't done for a long time. I recently joined a choir based in my workplace and it's been helpful to get out of my comfort zone and do something I used to enjoy as a child. Learning a new skill is a massive confidence builder and meeting new people is helpful too.

Above all, treat yourself with kindness and empathy and don't push yourself too hard. Celebrate small successes and don't berate yourself for perceived failures.

[Theincrowd]

Thanks all for your replies. I have been going to doctor and seeing a psychologist who have attributed it to hypersensitivity exacerbated by being in a very stressful work environment. I have not taken any medication but I can see slow improvement day by day where to the point now I think I could handle work - although my current job is not the sort of place you can take it easy (involving lots of meetings, presentations and need to be 'sharp'). I have agreed with work to come back next month giving me another month to try and make progress.

Poppy girls words really really struck a chord and I am finding it hard to 'rest' as recovery and it is clearly better to slowly ease into work and create a structure around the day. If I ever feel normal my brain automatically registers - wow I feel normal - and then I start thinking about it all again. Somehow I need to turn off these thoughts. I don't know if illness preceding panic is a trigger as it makes you really aware of the fallibility of the body and becoming more aware of how you feel when before it was not in your consciousness.

The things I know help are: being outside, seeing friends and being normal, meditating, distraction through a task, positive thoughts, someone being kind, really intense exersize (I ran ten miles hard and felt amazing a few hours after), dreaming of a better future, music, dancing, laughing, journaling progress, sleeping, walking.

The things I know don't are: scanning for pulse and checking symptoms, googling issues, sitting indoors hoping for the feeling to pass, feeling negative about getting better, worrying things will not changing, tossing and turning in bed responding to thoughts, second guessing doctors, sitting on computer/tablet/phone.

So I am trying to focus on the top set and remove the bottom set. Be greatful to hear what works and doesn't work for others.