Relax? Yeah, right..............

[gauss101]

I'm a teacher of maths and for the last year have had bouts of panic attacks. I've had them, on an off, all my life. At the age of 60 I thought I'd got it beat but no. For some reason, maybe upheavals in my personal life and working too hard, they have come back. I've always used medication to help and tried hard to face the fear and overcome the barriers. When I was younger I took up martial arts and this helped enormously but although 60 isn't exactly one foot in the grave, I feel I'm too old for that now. So, I've looked at other ways of overcoming the attacks and I read a lot of, "let it flow over you", or "just relax and know that it will pass". Have these people ever had a panic attack? I'm not knocking them but when you're in the middle of explaining a complex mathematical theorem, it's not that easy to take deep breaths, or sit comfortably because there are 20 pairs of eyes on you and you have to plow on, even though you feel you are going to pass out with fear. I've just started CBT and I'm hoping this will help but am keen to know how others deal with panic, even though they have to continue what they are doing. Sorry if this seems a cynical post but I'm sure you'll understand that after 40 years of this, I'm really starting to get p*ssed of with it. Many thanks.;o)))))

[Catherine S]

Hi gauss, as a lifelong panic sufferer of the same age I would say that even though you are p*ssed off with the panic attacks, the main feeling whilst in the middle of one remains the same even 40 years on...right? That you're either going to pass out or die. It hasn't happened so far and its not going to be the thing that takes you out in your 60's either...a genuine illness will get us at some point, but panic? no. Can you tell me how many times over the 40 years you have actually passed out through a panic attack? Maybe it has happened to you because ive heard that it can, but very rarely. And I do understand that standing in front of a class full of students, feeling all the symptoms of wanting to run away is so awful. I've never had to do that, but I have embarrassed my own children over the years, and occasionally my grandchildren in recent years by....getting off trains, buses, out of cars, or not getting onto planes or trains or into cars, abandoning trolleys full of shopping, walking out of cinemas mid-movie etc, etc, etc, i'm sure you get the picture.

I don't think there is a magic cure, not for me anyway and ive learned to accept that, and to accept that I have the kind of personality that can bring it on, sometimes because of my own vivid imagination about what might happen, and others it seems to just come from nowhere...probably for no other reason than it can because it always has! Years ago I took tranquilisers, benzos but promised myself never again after horrendous withdrawal in the days when the docs dished them out like sweeties. These days I take 40mg of propranolol, a betablocker and these help loads by slowing down the adrenaline, and they aren't mind-altering drugs so can be taken as and when if preferred. I take them daily and up the dose to 60mg on the days when my heart is doing tricks (I've also suffered with ectopics/missed beats since my 20's too...benign but uncomfortable if I get a run of them).

I know you don't think accepting them works, it actually does...but...you really really do have to accept them as part of who you are, they have contributed to what makes you who you are after 40-odd years after all. Change how you feel about them. Think of it as your body just trying to protect you in its own warped way, after all, the sensations are what would actually protect you in a really dangerous situation, they're just a bit too eager and have stopped telling the difference between talking in front of a class of students and going into battle in full metal armour carrying a sword! Try to lose the fear of them and you'll see a difference in how you eventually deal with them.

The mistake people make is trying to take away anxiety and panic completely...that's not realistic because its part of life, and its just that some of us are more sensitive than others....a whole forum full of us in fact :D

Don't forget too though, that physical stress like being overtired or nervous about an event or life struggle can make people like us more sensitive to symptoms of panic. But never forget also how strong we really are. I always remember reading one of Dr. Clare Weekes books many years ago, and she said to live with what we have to live with takes strength not weakness. Also, our physical needs change as we get older, so look after yourself...take some extra vitamins and magnesium is great with helping our nervous system. Even our digestive system can put the rest out of whack if that's not right...and digestive enzymes diminish as we get older so we can suffer more with that too. If my stomach isn't right it effects my heart by giving me the missed beats and fluttering, so never underestimate the changes as we get older and how they can affect our nervous system.

I hope this helps and that you will start to get on top of the panics...or at least try not to think of them as the enemy, not easy I do know. Take care.

ISB x

[gauss101]

Thankyou for your reply, ISB. I just get so tired of fighting it. Panic always seems to be a consideration before I do anything, even when I may have gone a couple of years panic free. I've tried to do the accepting thing but it never seems to get any better. I'm sure, on some level, I'm still fighting it. The problem is that no one tells you how to do it. If I'm at home, I've found just laying down, deep breathing and then moving around and doing something helps. The problem is you can't do this in Sainsburys, as they take a very dim view on customers laying in the aisles.
I'll just have to take your wise advice and accept that it will always be with me. ;o))))))