sizzling
11-11-14, 23:18
I'm due to go on a dream holiday to New Zealand tomorrow. I've suffered with anxiety since I was a child, have tried various therapies and medication but none have been that successful. The anxiety really manifests itself in thoughts about death and fear of being killed. Now I'm close to going away I'm absolutely terrified that I'll end up being killed in some way during the trip and feel that I would be safer at home.
It doesn't help that I rely on my home comforts, family etc with coping with the anxiety and by going away I'm leaving all this behind which further exacerbates the feeling that I won't be able to cope. I have travelled this far before and ended up coming home early as I just couldn't cope and I'm scared if I do force myself to go on the plane this will happen again. A lot of people I've asked say once you're there you'll be fine but that doesn't seem to happen with me, in fact I feel worse because I know I have to travel home!
Any ideas on what is best? I have no idea what to do, I would feel disappointed not to go but if it's just going to be a holiday full of panic it's not going to be enjoyable.
It doesn't help that I rely on my home comforts, family etc with coping with the anxiety and by going away I'm leaving all this behind which further exacerbates the feeling that I won't be able to cope. I have travelled this far before and ended up coming home early as I just couldn't cope and I'm scared if I do force myself to go on the plane this will happen again. A lot of people I've asked say once you're there you'll be fine but that doesn't seem to happen with me, in fact I feel worse because I know I have to travel home!
Any ideas on what is best? I have no idea what to do, I would feel disappointed not to go but if it's just going to be a holiday full of panic it's not going to be enjoyable.