Charlottie
03-01-07, 22:02
Argh I've been doing ok lately, the panic from college has gone and I've had no symptoms for ages apart from nasty thoughts.
Well today on the bus back from visiting my boyfriend I felt really weird. As though I wasn't actually me, like it was a dream and I was watching it. And I started to feel like I just wasn't me at all and that what if the universe didn't actually exist and it's all a dream [which actually doens't make any sense]. And then I started thinking what if I'd never been born. And argh just all of a sudden these huge waves on panic just crashed over me it was horrible. :( Is that what they call depersonalisation?
And lately as well; I've been going back how I used to be, where I think everyone's playing a big joke on me and I just feel like any moment my boyfriend's going to leave me and argh I couldn't cope I love him too much :( He says he never ever will and I have no reason to believe he will I'm just being paranoid.
And lately it just seems like there's no point in life. Like I keep thinking what is the point in existing, in the world existing, even the universe exisiting.
Sorry but it's getting me down. :(
Thankyou if you have read all this, I probably don't make much sense.
Well today on the bus back from visiting my boyfriend I felt really weird. As though I wasn't actually me, like it was a dream and I was watching it. And I started to feel like I just wasn't me at all and that what if the universe didn't actually exist and it's all a dream [which actually doens't make any sense]. And then I started thinking what if I'd never been born. And argh just all of a sudden these huge waves on panic just crashed over me it was horrible. :( Is that what they call depersonalisation?
And lately as well; I've been going back how I used to be, where I think everyone's playing a big joke on me and I just feel like any moment my boyfriend's going to leave me and argh I couldn't cope I love him too much :( He says he never ever will and I have no reason to believe he will I'm just being paranoid.
And lately it just seems like there's no point in life. Like I keep thinking what is the point in existing, in the world existing, even the universe exisiting.
Sorry but it's getting me down. :(
Thankyou if you have read all this, I probably don't make much sense.