SOBAY310
14-11-14, 06:25
Hi All,
I've dealt with anxiety on and off for the last few years. I went quite some time without even thinking about anxiety, no panic attacks or anything until one hit me really hard about a month ago. Prior to that spell a month ago, I was back to my anxiety-free self, or so I thought.
Now here I am struggling more than ever. I can't get my mind to shutup. I bounce from one spectrum to another, here's an example of what is going on in my mind at any given time today:
Feeling pretty good, then think about my kids and get depressed that they have to grow up, then I start to get depressed about how we all have to die at some point and be separated from our loved ones. I then start to think that maybe I'm depressed. Bounce back to anxiety and start to get nervous about taking my daughter to a football stadium because I might have a panic attack. Then I focus on my breathing. What if I can't ever catch my breath? Why do I feel sick after I eat? Then I start thinking about how I almost chocked eating a few months ago and I still think about it everytime I eat which triggers my anxiety which then makes me feel sick after I eat. Now I start to feel really sad because I can't enjoy life without thinking about all this stuff and fighting anxiety on top of everything else.
END OF EXAMPLE
So, you see? This is me every day now. It's like I have to talk to myself to block everything out and then it's like I'm having a fight within my brain. One side says all is good and the other side says "I'm bringing everything I got". Count your breaths, count your swallows, your blinks, here comes anxiety, you are depressed, one day you'll end up in the nut house.
It's seriously making me so sad and I feel like I'm nuts and letting my family down because I can't just be me again. For once things seem great. I have a great new job, money situation is good, kids are healthy, etc. Yet now this stupid mind of mine and anxiety feel like it's going to take be down a very scary path that I can't control.
I hope somebody out there can relate to what I'm trying to say. Hope I didn't come across as a loon. It was the only way I could explain what's going on.
Love you all.
Thank you.
I've dealt with anxiety on and off for the last few years. I went quite some time without even thinking about anxiety, no panic attacks or anything until one hit me really hard about a month ago. Prior to that spell a month ago, I was back to my anxiety-free self, or so I thought.
Now here I am struggling more than ever. I can't get my mind to shutup. I bounce from one spectrum to another, here's an example of what is going on in my mind at any given time today:
Feeling pretty good, then think about my kids and get depressed that they have to grow up, then I start to get depressed about how we all have to die at some point and be separated from our loved ones. I then start to think that maybe I'm depressed. Bounce back to anxiety and start to get nervous about taking my daughter to a football stadium because I might have a panic attack. Then I focus on my breathing. What if I can't ever catch my breath? Why do I feel sick after I eat? Then I start thinking about how I almost chocked eating a few months ago and I still think about it everytime I eat which triggers my anxiety which then makes me feel sick after I eat. Now I start to feel really sad because I can't enjoy life without thinking about all this stuff and fighting anxiety on top of everything else.
END OF EXAMPLE
So, you see? This is me every day now. It's like I have to talk to myself to block everything out and then it's like I'm having a fight within my brain. One side says all is good and the other side says "I'm bringing everything I got". Count your breaths, count your swallows, your blinks, here comes anxiety, you are depressed, one day you'll end up in the nut house.
It's seriously making me so sad and I feel like I'm nuts and letting my family down because I can't just be me again. For once things seem great. I have a great new job, money situation is good, kids are healthy, etc. Yet now this stupid mind of mine and anxiety feel like it's going to take be down a very scary path that I can't control.
I hope somebody out there can relate to what I'm trying to say. Hope I didn't come across as a loon. It was the only way I could explain what's going on.
Love you all.
Thank you.