Help with my partners anxiety

[Viclake]

Hi, I was wondering if anyone could help me? I've been with my new partner for 2 years now I'm going through divorce which is dragging on and stressful I have two children with me full time they canot see there dad due to abuse so lots of court hearings etc I won't go into detail but I have a lot on my plate and find it hard most days to cope, I work juggle things around I don't seem to get time to sit and think things through properly and when I do I'm to tired. Anyway to get straight to the point now, my partner of 2 years has sufferd anxiety at his worst before he met me, I've been told he is a lot better which he probley is, but I'm finding it hard yo talk to him about it, when I have tried to talk to him he gets really angry with me, so I have no one else to turn to so that's why I am here. His main issues are driving long distances (short distances around where we live he is fine with) he will drive long distances but only with his mum/dad or close family members, he won't drive further distance with ME but only with close family members and it realy hurts me it's like he doesn't trust me or something I did ask him the other week 'why can't you drive long distances with me?' And he said because it's not the same! It's horrible if ever we want to go away he has to bring his mum or dad or close family and I would really want to go away with us just as a family, and his family want him to do things for himself to! They say to be more pushy on him which I have done and we end up not talking to eachother for the rest of the day, and the other thing is he's up and down like a yo yo he's always got to be going to the local shops or poping in and out of family members houses which gets on there nerves to! He can't seem to stay in our home, he goes to work fine but can't seem to stick to a job, it's not a very good lifestyle to be honest I want to help him but in all honesty I don't think I'm good enough for him im a soft nature I do everything that he asks me to do and I'm besotted with him and love him very much, he goes to the gym twice a day and is constantly on his phone!. Any advice? Thanks for reading.

[Oosh]

It's hard to out your foot down with people when they're used to you being a push over. But if you want him to change in various ways and you're adamant about that then you just have to communicate this to him clearly and then not budge.

Eg next time we go on holiday it's just us. I'm not going again until it's under those conditions. Get his family to back you up.

[lior]

Don't tell yourself that you are not good enough for him! It sounds like you are going through a lot of stress yourself. Remember to look after yourself too - you've got children and your partner to take care of, but always make time for looking after yourself as well.

It sounds like he is very close to his family. Maybe it will just take time for him to feel secure with you in the car. It sounds like they are almost like magical mascots for him when he drives. Maybe eventually you will become a magical mascot too?

[Viclake]

Hi there, many thanks for your replies. The thing is he is very stubborn and I'm scared to talk to him about this, when I have talked to him about it he would turn it around and say your pushing your anxietys over to him, his family get frustrated with him even his mum has said to me on the quiet you got to try encourage him and that I'm being cruel by not helping him, he's forever falling in and out with his parents, his mum has even said that she purposely falls out with him so he can stop coming in and out of there house like a yo yo all the time, I don't know I honestly don't think I'm strong enough for him, I have said before oh next week we should go out somewhere nice with the kids and when it comes to it he makes up a random excuse, his phone annoys me though, constantly on it! And I say to him your always on it and he just says I'm googleing. Theres more to our relationship that I can't blurt out on here but it's destroying me inside and I got no one to turn to.