tonkaboy
17-11-14, 12:57
Hi everyone,
It's been a while since I posted, which is good because I've been doing very well for the last couple of years.
However, I'm struggling at the moment after over doing it at work since the end of the summer. I've been working on an extremely important and compressed programme, which has seen me pushing myself harder than I have in a long time. I've rung in sick this morning, which I hate to do but I feel I just need a bit of breathing space for a few days. I see my GP on Wednesday.
I suffer from GAD, which has affected me on and off throughout my adult life, however, it is only recently that it has been given a specific label.
I'm a test engineer by profession, who has had a life time of analysing data and reporting conclusions. It's at the very core of my being. And I'm very good at it, by all accounts.
However, when I over do it, I get tired and stressed (probably like any normal person). This triggers my anxiety and the over thinking then starts. I try to analyse why I'm feeling like I do and get into a battle of logic in my head. this inevitably leads to the thoughts - what if this isn't anxiety and you're suffering from delusions - what if you've done something really bad and can't remember it. How do I know this is all real? As you can't answer these questions logically beyond a shadow of doubt, up goes the anxiety levels.
I feel pathetic for being like this, why can't I just accept the truth - I have an anxiety disorder and the strange thoughts are just a symptom. Instead, I just get more and more wound up trying to find an answer. Probably the most upsetting thought is when I look at my children and question if I recognise them. I know I do but the thought destroys me.
I just want to get back to being the confident and loving father I know I can be. Why do I do this to myself?
I've recently tried MBCT and found that to be useful as it forces me to slow down but when I've very anxious, it doesn't calm me down.
I'd be interested to know if anyone else can relate to what I'm saying as anxiety can be a pretty lonely place, even if you're surrounded by people.
Cheers
Andy:unsure:
It's been a while since I posted, which is good because I've been doing very well for the last couple of years.
However, I'm struggling at the moment after over doing it at work since the end of the summer. I've been working on an extremely important and compressed programme, which has seen me pushing myself harder than I have in a long time. I've rung in sick this morning, which I hate to do but I feel I just need a bit of breathing space for a few days. I see my GP on Wednesday.
I suffer from GAD, which has affected me on and off throughout my adult life, however, it is only recently that it has been given a specific label.
I'm a test engineer by profession, who has had a life time of analysing data and reporting conclusions. It's at the very core of my being. And I'm very good at it, by all accounts.
However, when I over do it, I get tired and stressed (probably like any normal person). This triggers my anxiety and the over thinking then starts. I try to analyse why I'm feeling like I do and get into a battle of logic in my head. this inevitably leads to the thoughts - what if this isn't anxiety and you're suffering from delusions - what if you've done something really bad and can't remember it. How do I know this is all real? As you can't answer these questions logically beyond a shadow of doubt, up goes the anxiety levels.
I feel pathetic for being like this, why can't I just accept the truth - I have an anxiety disorder and the strange thoughts are just a symptom. Instead, I just get more and more wound up trying to find an answer. Probably the most upsetting thought is when I look at my children and question if I recognise them. I know I do but the thought destroys me.
I just want to get back to being the confident and loving father I know I can be. Why do I do this to myself?
I've recently tried MBCT and found that to be useful as it forces me to slow down but when I've very anxious, it doesn't calm me down.
I'd be interested to know if anyone else can relate to what I'm saying as anxiety can be a pretty lonely place, even if you're surrounded by people.
Cheers
Andy:unsure: