I'm so sick of this

[water]

I'm am so close to throwing up with my fear. It all stated back in September when I had a cyst in my arm It scared me a little so I looked it up turned out I had 3 cyst before so the next day I slept a little uncomfortably the whole left sure of my head and down my neck hurt the left side is usually the side I sleep on I also had this bump on my neck and it hurt there occasionally I was so scared I googled it like crazy every since I saw what it could be a sign of I had small chest pains all over my lungs all different types of pain but mostly sorta of a tickling pain so a this didn't happen when I was worried it happened just sometimes a week later or a few I weighed my self in the morning and I saw I lost 3 pounds now I only ate two things and have been barely eat and going to the bathroom a lot since Iv been so scared I are like crazy for the rest of the week and never weighed my self again since then a few more weeks later I had a sore throat more in the middle of the day and looked in the back of my throat to see what was up my tonsil was swollen a little so I gargled with salt water almost the whole day after my throat didn't hurt anymore but the tonsil was still there and a little bigger on the same side of my throat there was a painful little lump in my neck on the side if my tonsil it felt completely different from the one on the other side and a few days later it went to the other side ( also forgot to add it had a little pulse like it was a vain) well it hasn't really change but the thing in my neck on my tonsils side has gone down significantly well fast forward to last night and I'm chewing on my headphones I see a little blood and I have a full on anxiety attack I look in my thirst and see a bright blood vessel on my tonsil I swabbed it and nothing came up so now it's today and the scariest thing so far happened there was a blue dot on my foot and I thought I just stepped in a marker so I looked at it and I could practically peel it off now it was a scabish color and a few day later i had pain in bear my left abdomen I'm so close to throwing up I'm so scared I can't take this anymore*I'm to young and I want to do so much
I'm 12 years old I tried telling my mom but she tries to calm me down saying it'll be okay we have no money and I'm scared to go to the doctors because I can just imagine them telling me I'm going to die and dont want be scared around the holidays I can't take I'm so scared please please help*

[nomorepanic]

Does your mum know you are on here as we do have an age policy of no under 13's so you really need to be talking to your parents about posting on here.

[water]

Read the last paragraph if I'm telling my mom I'm telling nobody this is the only place left

[nomorepanic]

But we cannot allow a minor to post on here or I could get in a lot of trouble as well.

If you can't talk to your mum then maybe a school teacher

[water]

I'm so scared to get help I know it sound crazy sorry for posting so much I just feel so lost

[Catherine S]

The problem we have Olivia, is that we now know you are only 12 years old...just a child, and that any advice we give to you now has to be to tell you to find an adult that you trust enough to talk to in the real world, not online. I didn't realise I have been answering a 12yr old little girl all this time, someone who cannot even go to the doctors unless accompanied by an adult in this country. I know you are suffering but its going to be be really difficult for others here to advise you because of your age, and Nicola has to be really careful about accepting children under a certain age. Hope you understand that. Is there really nobody at all you can talk to?

ISB x

[Canbud]

I believe I suggested to you in an earlier post that you confide in a teacher, counsellor, or even the parent of a friend--someone in real life who can give you real help.